I See Disaster

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The silence grew unbearable. Legolas could not tell if Thranduil was containing his anger or too ashamed of him to speak to him. He rested his head on Thranduil's shoulder, rocked gently in the elf king's lap. Thranduil had not moved from the floor.

After a while, Legolas mustered his courage. At the same time Thranduil spoke. "I am not angry with you, little leaf."

Legolas fought to hold back his tears, feeling as if passed events made tears weak. "I-I did not mean to make you cry—cry, ada."

Thranduil kissed the top of his head. "I am sorry I failed to see how much you were hurting inside. When you came home, all I wanted was to give you a home. I wanted you to feel safe and loved. I wanted to be someone you could come to with your hopes and worries and deepest troubles. I am sorry you were afraid to come to me with your bleeding heart. I am sorry if you felt I would not understand."

"I knew it was wrong," Legolas faltered. "To-to do what I did. I knew you would not approve. But I did not want to be told no because I wanted to do it. I-I wanted nana."

He curled smaller in Thranduil's lap, cringing. When he said it aloud, it sounded horrible.

"After my first meeting with her after her death, I wanted to bring her back to, Legolas. I looked for a way and found the same ritual you did. But I did not want to bring back the woman I loved through blood and darkness."

"It did not work," Legolas said.

Thranduil's hand ran down his back. "Perhaps at heart, you were as unwilling as I was. The light and purity inside you kept the black magic from taking full effect."

"I am glad," Legolas whispered. "I wanted to stop halfway through but I could not."

Thranduil moved Legolas's head off his shoulder. Legolas hung his head low as Thranduil took his bandaged hands. "Do they hurt?"

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