He kissed me. Gerard kissed me. But then he slammed the door in my face, apologising as he did so. I know he's drunk, but did that kiss mean anything? It must have. He wouldn't have apologised if it didn't mean anything...right?
I stumbled to my apartment in a daze. Once I was inside, I lit a cigarette and started cooking myself some food. All I had was bread, butter, a few tins of beans, coffee, milk and salad stuff. Beans on toast it is.
I switch on my crappy tv and watch some show about some blonde bitchy celebrity.
A small part of my mind is telling me to go check up on Gerard. He was really fucking drunk. I was supporting him the entire way home, he'd've fallen all over the place otherwise. His words were slurring. But he was light. A bit too light, in my opinion. I wondered if he had recently been sick or something. He hadn't eaten all day, as far as I knew. I decided to go check up on him.
'Gerard...?' I called through the door. I'd knocked, but he must not have heard me. It was only 5:30pm, he can't be sleeping. Can he?
'Gerard, open the door, please.'
What if he's passed out? I knock harder. Still no answer.
'Gerard, come on! Open the door, it's Frank!'
I can't stop thinking about that kiss. I need to make sure he's ok. After no reply for at least 5 minutes, I tried the door handle. It was unlocked. I called his name, my head peering around the door.
His apartment was a stinking mess. The living room curtains were shut, empty beer bottles filled up every inch of his coffee table, whiskey bottles filled up his counter in the kitchen, there was broken glass in various places of the floor; it stank of all things alcohol. I pieced all this with the conversation I overheard him and Ray having.
Gerard was an alcoholic. That much was clear.
I stepped in further, closing the door behind me. I called his name out again. If our apartments were laid out the same, then there was a light shining from what should be his bathroom. I go towards, and what I see makes me scared beyond belief.
Gerard. Tears. Blood. Bottles. Razor.
I panic. I fall to my knees beside him.
'Gerard...' I whisper, my eyes stinging with the tears that were sure to come. 'Why?'
