I didn't know what to say. What on this world could possibly ever make Frank, pocket-sized perfection, do this to himself?! I counted at least 7 scars on his wrist, all looking equally deep. But there was one that looked even deeper than the rest. It was also going down his wrist, not across.
It looked like he'd attempted. How? How could such a thing happen? Frank...I swore to never let him think like that again. As long as I was alive, so was he.
I grabbed his arm to take a closer look, and looked to him to ask if I could see the rest of his arm. He nodded, seeming slightly uncomfortable. I gingerly lifted his sleeve and saw countless others. Not all as deep as each other, all different sizes. But they were there all the same.
'Frankie...' I couldn't understand. 'Why?' I just couldn't wrap my head around it.
He sighed, looking at his lap.
'My school, uh...they didn't really appreciate me using their oxygen. Neither did my mom. I was, well..I was alone. I thought- I thought everyone w-would be be-better without me...' He was crying, my heart was breaking. This world is so fucking ugly. They feel the need to destroy anything beautiful, to make themselves feel better. I wanted to kill them all. Everyone who had made Frank feel this way. I hated their guts, no questions asked. I don't care who did it. I hate them.
I cupped his face in my cheeks and I looked him in the eyes, wiping away a tear with my thumb.
'Frank. Don't you...don't you ever think that again! Ever! You're fucking perfect....the fact you thought that...just, oh, Frank....' I hugged him, near tears myself.
'I may have only known you for three days, but you're special. My life is already improving just by knowing you. I don't know how, but it is. And I thank you. Thank you, Frank.' And then, without thinking, I kissed him back. His eyes opened wide in shock, and then shut; I shut mine quickly after. He was kissing me back. I ignored the butterflies slowly growing in my stomach and hugged Frank closer. He hugged me back, his arms around my waist. I broke the kiss to catch my breath, and opened my eyes to see him smiling like an idiot. A freaking adorable idiot at that. My idiot. Mine. No one else's. I shook my head. No..he just probably got lost in the moment. He was emotional and just went with it...
'Gee?' I looked up. I hadn't realised I was staring at my legs.
'So yeah...now's as good a time as any, huh?' I squinted my eyes in curiosity. The hell is he on about?
'I like you, Gee. I know I haven't known you long, and if you do like me back at all, I still think we should get to know each other more before anything happens...but I really fucking like you. I don't know if you like me, or if you even like dudes that-though I'm pretty sure after that kiss- but if you don't, please don't laugh at me. I've had enough of that...'
I think my heart just exploded. Frank? Liking me? Impossible...yet it's happened. He's gay. I smiled bigger than I ever have before.
'Frankie....' I said in a voice more serious than I meant.
'Y-yeah?' He looked worried.
I leaned in close to him, my arms hugging his neck. My face was inches from his.
'I'm gay as fuck, dude.' And then I gave him a quick peck on the lips, unwrapping my arms from around his neck. We both blushed and looked at our laps. After a few moments in an ever so slightly awkward silence, which was in my bedroom, which just added to the awkwardness, Frank said:
'In that case, Gee Bear- will you go on a date with me? For us to get to know each other a bit more.'
I looked up, smiling again. Unable to speak, I nodded my head rather aggressively. Still smiling.
'Uh, Frank- not that I don't want you here, but uh, I kinda don't at the minute- I need to get dressed and stuff, and uh...' I looked at his sheepishly, biting my lip and raising my eyebrows slightly. He laughed and said he'd go to his apartment, but I told him to wait in the living room.
I stood up, realising I was only in my boxers and a shirt I hadn't taken off all week. I decided to put a clean one on. It was an old band shirt, The Ramones- very faded, you could hardly see it. But it was there, so it was fine. I pulled on my pants from yesterday and walked straight to my bathroom, attempting to straighten my hair with my hand; it was getting kinda greasy. I'll wash it sometime today, probably. I skipped brushing my teeth and just used mouthwash, it was just easier; I've still got a headache. Wait....fuck! I didn't want Frank seeing all those bottles, I knew I should've cleaned, I...wait. Did....did Frank clean? I felt my cheeks flush red. I was embarrassed, and slightly angry. Of course! The garbage bags I heard rustling. I should've got up and stopped him. But I was so comfy...
'Uh, Frank?' He looked up, looking slightly worried. I immediately stopped being angry, I couldn't yell at him- he looked scared, I wanted to hug him.
'Y-yeah, Gee? What's up?'
I said to him calmly:
'Nothing, just...did you, uh, clean? It's just, yeah....kinda different to how I left it!' I chuckled at the end, showing him I wasn't mad. Though, really, I was. I saw his eyes relax and he smiled back up at me.
'Sorry....it's just....sorry, I'm used to cleaning...you're not mad, are you?' By the end of the sentence he started looking slightly concerned again. I just smiled and shook my head, sitting down next to him on the couch. It was weird. My apartment...it was nice. The curtains were opened so it was light and open, the floor had been swept, and it smelt clean...not like beer and smoke. It was strange. But nice. But then I looked towards the kitchen. I could feel my eyes widen, and my stomach dropped. The counter. It was...empty. I had no vodka. Only half a bottle of whiskey. I felt a deep rage starting to build.
