Aziraphale: Why are there five Onion Johns? Let all the Onion Johns be together.
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Crowley: Onion John isn't doing anything wrong. Let Onion John call it a pheasant! We don't need to get into specifics!
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Pepper (to Brian): It's not an accomplishment to not talk about feet for a week and a half.
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Crowley: No, I've never licked a charger.
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*During the huge Four Horsemen scene at the airbase*
Adam: No, you can't stab me!
Aziraphale: Dang.
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Crowley: I wanted cheese, not social interaction.
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Anathema: There is a specter haunting the world. And that specter is communism.
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Gabriel: It was a respectable whipping.
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Newton: I had a dream where I was allergic to bottle caps.
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Pepper (to Brian and Wensleydale): Adam's like, "Isn't Dog so cute?" and I'm like, "He's licking himself."
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Adam: I'm a very red person.
Aziraphale: That sounds like something Crowley would say. Like, he would walk up to me and say, "I'm orange" and I'm like, "Well, okay."
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Adam: Every parent has to have a parent.
Wensleydale: Of course. Otherwise, things wouldn't work properly.
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Shadwell: I got to see a seventy-year-old man in drag. It was worth it.
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*Crowley is teaching Aziraphale and Anathema to play D&D*
Aziraphale *to Anathema*: Crowley hates Wizards.
Crowley: Fuck Wizards.
Aziraphale *to Anathema*: Crowley really hates Wizards.
Crowley: Ah, yes, those goddamn motherfucking Wizards.
Anathema: You need to, like, calm the heck down.
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Aziraphale: It's kind of hard to blow up an origami balloon when you're being smacked with a baby tree!
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Pepper: I put the baby tree in my purse because where else would a baby tree go?
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Crowley: No one appreciates my dramatic pause.
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Aziraphale: Hold on, it doesn't have a head. It unfolded, as heads are prone to doing.
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Aziraphale: Oh no my cheese almost dropped!
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Crowley: Don't mind me, I'm just having a one-sided conversation with you.
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Incorrect Good Omens Quotes
RandomRankings: 2 in #adamyoung on 10/15/2019 6 in #anthonyjcrowley on 9/30/2019 9 in #beelzebub on 10/31/2019 40 in #goodomens on 9/30/2019 Incorrect quotes inspired by Good Omens! Every quote is something someone said that I know personally unless other...
