Rankings:
2 in #adamyoung on 10/15/2019
6 in #anthonyjcrowley on 9/30/2019
9 in #beelzebub on 10/31/2019
40 in #goodomens on 9/30/2019
Incorrect quotes inspired by Good Omens! Every quote is something someone said that I know personally unless other...
Shadwell: I brushed out all the tangles from sticking pencils in my hair.
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Adam: Hypothetically, how would you murder someone with the moon?
Aziraphale: Blow a chunk off of it and destroy the person's house while they were in it.
Crowley: Become Gru, shrink the moon, put the moon in someone's food, enlarge it once it is in their digestive tract.
Aziraphale: ... I thought mine was violent and then Crowley happened.
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(Texting, woo! Aziraphale has a hampster named Mr. Fluffles in this one. It's important.)
Adam: Apparently,
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Adam: My dog likes lettuce.
Crowley: Dog and lettuce.
Adam: Yep.
Crowley: Yep. Give me your dog.
Adam: Now he's upset because I had to take away his lettuce so he wouldn't barf.
Crowley: Give me the dog.
Adam: I'm afraid I can't do that, Crowley. *Locks outside of spaceship*
Aziraphale: *Pops in out of nowhere and teleports inside the spaceship* Hi, I'm here now.
Crowley: I'll pick this lock. Give me the dog.
Aziraphale: Warp speed, Mr. Spock! *Zooms away*
Crowley: REEEEEEEE! Aziraphale. Give me Dog or Mr. Fluffles gets it.
Aziraphale: Mwa ha ha. Mr. Fluffles's with me, playing with Dog.
Crowley: Not for long! >:D *Thanos snap*
Aziraphale: You're currently a bazillion light-years away from me and without a spaceship. I wish you the best of luck.
Crowley: I'm immortal.
Aziraphale: Dog and Mr. Fluffles aren't.
Crowley: Watch your back.
Adam: Don't move or the bunny gets it!
Crowley: A. Z. Fell & Co. on Greek Street in Soho.
Aziraphale: Wut
Aziraphale: Wut
Aziraphale: Noo
Aziraphale: Noooooo
Aziraphale: AAHHHHH
Aziraphale: Wait what bunny
Crowley: You have made an enemy.
Aziraphale: Well, so have you. *Tips nonexistent hat*
Adam: I said, put the bunny back in the box!
Aziraphale: Umm, I would, but I'm not sure which bunny you're talking about. *Looks over a field of rabbits questioningly*
Crowley: Fly you fools.
Aziraphale: I am. Away from you.
Crowley: Run you clever boy, run. Are you scared?
Aziraphale: Nope.
Crowley: Then why run?
Adam: Jeez. First you don't get my 2009 A Space Odyssey reference and then you don't get Con Air.
Aziraphale: I GOT IT
Adam: You didn't think about the implications.
Aziraphale: Who says I'm not Hal?
Crowley: Did you get my references?
Aziraphale: Or already dead to begin with? And no, I'm sorry.
Crowley: Hast thou no appreciation of Gandalf or Clara? Remember The Veldt?
Aziraphale: >:O
Adam: Look, Crowley, I can see you're really upset about this. I honestly think you ought to sit down calmly, take a stress pill, and think things over.
Aziraphale: But if the label says, "Made in Japan", run for your life. Either that or chug three bottles of Mountain Dew. Your decision.
(... That was long. If anyone got the reference Aziraphale said at the very end, congratulations. You get a cookie.)
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Aziraphale: *Runs off* I won't come back without pants, I SWEAR!
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Anathema: I don't care what people do to people, I care what people do to the environment!
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Pepper: I'm pretty sure my rats are lesbian. I couldn't be prouder.
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Crowley: It's a judgemental shot glass!
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Brian: I was knighted by the queen of Scotland and my name is Sir Baby B now.
