When We Have Sufficiently Tortured Each Other

"I know everything now"

She strokes your cheek, her thumb almost massaging the apple of your cheek, you close your eyes savouring every millisecond, every feeling. Her hand continues back to your hair, she brushes the loose hair behind your ear tenderly
"Thank you"
You say in an exhale, (not thanking for fixing your hair but for her, for this)
trying to hold yourself together

"Thank you"
She says in a mutual calm low tone (she knows exactly what you meant)
an expression like a thought just sparked comes across her face before she steps back & heads toward the kitchen.

You have no idea what that was but it was certainly something powerful.

You let out a shaken breath recovering before you look toward her, smiling at her casually making her way around the kitchen retrieving the wine bottle from the refrigerator

"Want to go out for a cigarette soon?"
You ask

"Oh yes!"
she says in a pleased buzzy tone as she begins to pour the wine

You stand up to grab your cigarettes
"I have to find an ashtray"
You say

You hear her pause her pouring to let out a sudden burst of laugher before looking over to you

"Oh god what now"
You say with a chuckle, rolling your eyes playfully.

"I just remembered something & I must ask you a question"
She says in a questioning tone with a smirk, placing the bottle down unable to pour from chuckling.

You jokingly shake your head & smirk at her giggly antics as you walk to her to assist in the kitchen
"One drink in & you're already too giggly to pour, I'm one up on you Mrs Blanchett"
You say in a cheekily challenging way, looking at her who is now leaning partially on the counter waiting for your approval of the question
"So what is it you must ask?"
You ask, picking up the bottle & beginning to pour

"So your tweet: Cate Blanchett could use me as her ashtray"
She says in a mischievous tone intently waiting for your reaction

You place the bottle down, letting out a scoff
"Oh shit I forgot about that one"
You laugh
"Honestly that one is probably my most impressive thirst tweet"
You slide her glass over to her
"What about it?"
You say as you pour your own glass

She grins cheekily
"How would one use a person as an ashtray exactly?"
She chuckles
"Orally?"
She says almost suggestively emphasising & dragging out the word sexily in her gravely tone

You blush instantly, a feeling grows in your lower stomach & you are completely turned on & god does she know it.
"I-"
You need to think about this

She looks at you the cheeky grin still crossing her face, she is completely aware of how you are feeling & she is loving every second
"Well?"
She says seductively, raising her glass & downing the whole thing, radiating the biggest BDE.
You stare in awe, she looks at you with a smug look raising her brows wanting your answer as she pours herself another glass

"Did you ask that purely to say orally or just make a mess out of me?"
You ask playfully, still trying to relax yourself

"Oh I would never!"
She says in a sarcastic flirty tone
"I am very curious to know"
She adds, enjoying your reaction

You decide to play at her game.

"Well, this is going to sound very fan girl like but honestly I didn't really think much about practicality.. it was more like an example of your power & how
I- ....I mean, how people, would submit themselves to you in any form. But I suppose yes orally would be practical"
You say nervously causal, emphasising 'orally' just for her.
"Ok that sounds extremely fan girl, but Twitter is very lighthearted & dramatic, things like that are what is popular"
You add nervously chuckling trying to not sound strange even know you know she doesn't think that

She softly laughs
"Oh I know"
She says suggestively with a cunning grin.
(She just wanted to see/hear your reaction)
"I know everything now"
She says with a low raspy tone & devilish look
"I must say I am very educated in all areas of the 'fandom' now"
She says motioning quotations, wine glass in hand with a knowing smirk

"Fuck, with how you just sad that I am terrified to know what you've found agent Blanchett"
You say with a laugh

She laughs with you
"Oh sweetheart don't be terrified, I very much enjoyed what I found, as you can tell"
She says in a low suggestive tone
"But I'm sure that will come up later"
She adds with a grin.

Your stomach flutters at the thought.

"Cigarette?"
She asks

"Of course"
You reply as you wait for her to move, her leaning on the counter is blocking the way out of the kitchen.
You admire her body, so long & elegant, you can't help but notice her leaning pose her ass almost pointed in your direction

She flicks her eyes to you, grinning at your state, almost like she is wondering what you'll do.
She begins to stand from leaning, bringing her arms onto the counter as she begins to straighten up, she pauses
"mmhm"
She groans in a pained tone, bringing one hand to her neck

You step closer
"Oh shit, are you ok?"
You ask as you reach an arm out in comfort

"Oh yes darling"
She says in quiet voice, you know she's trying to conceal her pain as she looks toward you
"It's just this fucking neck of mine, I'll be fine"
She adds with a pained attempt at a reassuring smile

You take her free arm in yours
"I can see you won't be fine. Come, I promised a massage & I will deliver, as much as this is going to give me an anxiety attack"
You say in a caring way, chuckling at the end as she begins to walk with you

"You really don't have to, but it would be incredible if you can"
She smiles softly
"Don't be anxious, if it's anything like just the small one earlier you have magic hands"
She says, her smile widens

"I want to help. God we will see about magic hands"
You say with a laugh
"Now I'll start with you sitting up then get you to lie down if that's alright, where would you be most comfortable?"
You ask

"Of course that's alright.
I think the bed would be best don't you think?"
She says

"Cool. And look, I was going to say that but telling Mrs Cate Blanchett to head to the bed would have really been quite a lot for me"
You say in a playful tone, jokingly fanning your face acting flustered (you really are flustered)
You both laugh & she sits on the bed

You walk away to grab some lotion, walking back
"I don't know why it is so tight lately"
She says, her eyes gazing to you

"Well, I think I have an idea as to why"
You say, unable to wipe a growing smirk from appearing

She looks at you grinning with a curious grin
"Oh? And what may that be?"
She asks playfully curious, knowing that your answer would be why you're grinning

"Well you're working 6 days a week"
You look at her, she looks back intently waiting for you to carry on
"Not to mention the play is quite... physical. Especially..."
You say & pause

"Especially what?"
She says smirking, like she knows.

You chuckle
Motioning a couple of thrusts
"That part"
You say with a smirk

She laughs loudly
"Well that was sublime!"
She says grinning
"I think you may be right"
She adds

"Well it's not exactly a regular movement for most females & you're doing it every night!
In the mean time I can help with massages"
You say in a matter of fact way

"Ohhh, you sound like you're very experienced"
She says in a perky tone, her eyes giving a flirty squint

"Oh don't even!"
You say blushing & swatting her arm gently.
"Let's see if we can get you fixed up before you fiddle me too much!"
You say with a grin

"Ohh alrighttt"
She says in a jokingly disappointed tone with a smile.

She begins to lift her shirt
"Can you give me a hand please Y/N darling"
She asks, looking at you from the corner of her eye, smiling at your visible fluster
Your heart thumps

"Sure"
You say hiding your nervousness