Better The Devil You Know

So Maybe I'm Not Okay

Aurora couldn’t breathe.

The hall got smaller and smaller, the people coming closer and closer. Everybody’s voices got 10x louder, screaming at her, but she couldn’t register the words. Nathanial’s hand on her waist was tight, too tight, and Aurora was desperate to be free. Waves of heat kept hitting her, sweat building up on her forehead. Chest tightening, heart pacing, Aurora couldn’t move. She was stuck.

Staring at him.

He was blabbing on to Nate, who was unaware that his wife was about to pass out right next to him, but Jack knew. The smirk on his face and the occasional glance at Aurora gave it away.

He hadn’t changed. His eyes were still as bright and calm, filled with unwavering power. It made Aurora’s skin crawl. Memories swam through her mind, her eyes brimming with tears. Her worst fear, most harrowing nightmare, was right in front of her. Less than two metres away from her. An arm’s reach. And just like that Aurora was back there.

Back to 17, listening to the heart rate monitor, watching her mum walk into the room, watching as her mother’s eyes registered the blood and the bruises...

'Rors? You good?’ Nathanial stroked her back.

'I... I... I need air.’ Aurora rushed out of the room, out into the cold dark night.

🖤

Clambering out, Aurora fell to the floor against the hard brick wall. A sob escaped her lips, her hand clamping around her mouth quickly.

'Bambino? Aurora?’ Valentina’s voice filled the cold clammy air around her.

Hurriedly looking around, Valentina caught sight of her eldest daughter slumped against the building. ‘I’m here. I’ve got you. You’re alright now.’ Valentina wrapped her arms around the crying girl.

Aurora clung to her mother like a child on the first day of pre-school. They stayed quiet for a while, Aurora’s sobs slowly fading as Valentina held onto her tightly.

‘I’m ok. I’m good. Promise,' Aurora sniffled, wiping her tears with her shaky palms. ‘It’s midnight, is that an acceptable time to leave? I might drag Angie home to watch some crappy movie.’ Rambling on and on, Aurora’s voice slowly got steadier and she rose to her feet, wiping down her dress.

Valentina watched her daughter, before pulling her into a bear hug. ‘He can’t hurt you anymore. You have protection. Use it.’

Turning around, Aurora walked back towards the door, opening it. ‘You coming?’

🖤

Aurora found Nathanial talking to Danilo.

‘Hey Dan.’

'Aurora.’ Danilo nodded in greeting. ‘Looking stunning as ever.’

Nathanial rolled his eyes. ‘Easy tiger.’

Chuckling, Danilo saluted the couple before taking his leave.

'You feeling any better?’ Nathanial placed the back of his hand onto her forehead.

'Ummm... No. Not really. Angie and I are going back to the house. I'll, uh, see you in the morning.’

Nathanial nodded, 'alright'.

Stepping closer, he left his drink on the table next to him.

‘For the people watching.’

Their noses were almost touching.

‘For the people watching.’ Aurora whispered.

As her eyes closed, her hands travelled through Nathan’s hair as his lips crashed into hers. Nathan’s hand slid around her waist as the other one stroked her cheek.

Wrapping her arms around his shoulders, Aurora deepened the kiss, desperate for some kind of relief. Nathanial followed, slow and steady as their tongues moved around each other.

Pulling away, Aurora was still on her tip toes, her forehead against his. ‘I’m, I'm gonna go.’

Nathanial chuckled, kissing her nose. ‘You go, then.’

🖤

Aurora found Angelina on the dance floor, and after much arguing, managed to drag her out of the hall.

Slumping into the limo, Aurora sighed a breath of relief. Rummaging through the cupboards Angie pulled out a bottle of whiskey. Muttering 'stereotypical' under her breath, she twisted the cap off and took a swig. ‘Spill’ she ordered, sitting back and throwing her legs onto Aurora’s lap.

Sighing Aurora leant her head against the head rest, watching the lampposts morph into a line of orange light. ‘You remember what happened last year?’

Thinking for a minute Angie look conflicted. ‘I remember you refusing to tell me what happened. But, whatever I’m over it. So something bad happened last year, yes I remember. Tell me, just so I can grasp the full story, scale of 1-10 how bad?’

‘Bad enough that if anyone found out they would never look at me the same way.’

‘Mmm k I’ll go ahead and put that up in the 9-10 section. Got it, you may continue.’

'Well, um, I, he, it’s, it’s sort of, only kind of, come back. It’s come back and I want it to fuck off, except the only way it can is if I tell Nathan and as I said, it would ruin whatever friendship/ acceptance we have and I really don’t want that.’

'Ok... So that sucks. But, you gotta remember, your husband is the leader of the most feared mafia in the country.’

'How could I forget?’ Aurora muttered.

‘No matter how bad is it, I can promise you Nathanial’s seen worse. Done worse.’ Angelina passed the whiskey to Aurora, 'Besides, the more honest you two are to each other, the easier it is for you know, for you two to actually be happy.’

Aurora nodded. Still conflicted, she changed the subject to yet another topic that stressed her out. ‘How’s Dad?’

‘Angry. 24/7. He's trying to get as much done before Andrea takes over. “To leave his mark” and all that bullshit. I haven’t really seen him much. Honestly the family fell apart when you left. Everyone’s still secretly pissed about Dad’s stunt at the wedding, Mum can’t stand the fact that you’re not at home, and every time we all eat together there’s just a blatant empty chair reminding us that you’re not there. We really miss you 'Ror.’

‘I miss you too. I’m sorry everything’s gone to shit. This stupid arrangement was supposed to make everything better, but it’s created more problems than I have friends!’

Angelina chuckled, 'Sweetie, that’s not saying much.’