Better The Devil You Know

Les I'm Miserable

'What happened after?'

'Oh I just went back to my friends house for the night and to fix myself up.'

'And how did your husband react?'

'He hasn't spoken to me/ seen me since, so he's clueless, thank god.'

Aurora gulped, crossing her knees on the sofa. Her therapist, Jane sat opposite her, the busy streets of Didsbury right outside the window.

'And, this is the first time you've left the house this week. Can you tell me why?'

'I've been busy, haven't seen a need to leave the house. It takes me a while to, uh, recover, and until then I don't like to be touched, so rather than make it awkward I just don't give anybody a chance.'

'Imogen. You're scared. Why? What goes through your head when someone touches you.'

Aurora gulped, her voice wobbly. 'I'm back there. On the kitchen floor. My whole body breaks out in pain and suddenly shaking hands with someone has me dying. I'm weak and helpless and I hate that.'

'And if you told your husband, James, he wouldn't be able to help?'

'I can't tell him. He would never look at me the same. He would never treat me the same.'

Jane lifted her glasses off her face into her hair. Her folder went to the side table and she leant forward. Oh boy, here we go.

'You don't want to tell him, because telling him gives him your weakness. You're scared he will hurt you like Peter did. You are so scared of being vulnerable, and you and I need to try and change that. Everybody in this room knows your name isn't Imogen, you aren't married to a man named James and the horrible person who manipulated you and abused you is not called Peter. But you only feel safe telling me your story with fake names. And that's ok. You are terrified of letting people in, letting people see your weaknesses, because you let him in and he hurt you. He really hurt you, and now you're under the false pretence that everyone is out to hurt you. And that's not ok.'

🖤

Aurora pulled her car into the garage. It was nearly dark out, the air chilly as small snowflakes fell before dissolving on the floor. Grabbing all of her groceries from the boot, as well as her snack wrappers, she struggled inside, her fingers going numb.

After unpacking the groceries, she ran up to her room, ordering a pizza from deliveroo. Strolling into the bathroom she took her makeup off, her black eye and bruised nose coming into view. Wincing slightly, she gave her face a quick splash of water before changing into gym gear.
Hurrying downstairs, trying not to be seen, Aurora arrived at the gym, pulling her wireless beats on and her gloves.

Walking towards the punching bag, Aurora started boxing, her jabs and hooks releasing all her anger.
Music was pumping so loudly that Aurora didn't see Nathan arrive, nor did she hear him call out to her.

Her mind in overdrive, as soon as she felt her headphones being pulled from her head she turned around, her fist flying. Nathan swerved, grabbing the fist and pulling Aurora round so her back was against his chest. Trapping her arms, they both struggled for a minute. 'Is that how you treat your husband?'

'Get... Off... Me.' Aurora's fear was concealed by anger.
As soon as Nathan loosened his grip, she sprang away, scurrying to the other side of the treadmills.
'What do you want?' The contact had left her shaken, the memories racing through her head. Keeping her head down, Aurora panted slightly.

Nathan was slightly taken aback by her alien reaction, but shook it off. 'What did you do today?'

Aurora scoffed, knowing full well where the conversation was headed. 'Errands.'