Always Be With You

#23 - To Catch Her Fall

Saturday
April 28, 2018

It was ten in the morning and I'm all set with my graduation robe which of course, smelled as if it was just been used by an elderly. No means to offend but it resembled to the scent whenever my grandparents decides to stay the night.

I begin to think that they didn't actually wash this properly, or even at all.

If it weren't for regulation and formality, I would be shouting on top of my lungs with my robes in hand, "Hey, does anyone want to trade graduation robes?" I would honestly rather get on stage with tracks and a hoodie. 

So there I am, sitting in the middle of the room right beside Shane and Dawn. They weren't talking much or nearly one and a few, but I could feel the tension of words trying to uncage themselves. 

Seriously, get me out of here, I can feel the sparks of love being called to one another yet there's this wall that blocks the two from connecting to one another:

Me.

Yes Dawn, I could see you glaring at me but as much as I hate to say it, I can't do anything about it so please spare me your guns and knives.

"Welcome to this year's graduation..."

And so begins the end of the beginning.

One by one we marched on towards the stage, to shake hands, to take a picture, to be finally crowned as new graduates. Like a newborn bird who had grew it's wings, we left the nest, soaring up the sky hoping to reach beyond the horizon.

But where does it take us?

No one actually knows.

Will that bring me to the dream I've always longed for? Perhaps.

But would it take me to the place where I truly desire? The place I truly call home, the place I truly call as my own?
I have no answer to that.

"How're you holding up?"

I hummed in response. "How are you holding up?" Dawn asked with a mourned expression. I could see her tears nearly dropping yet she's trying her best for it not to.

"Must've been hard for you these past few periods." Now I could hear her sobbing. My only response to her was another saddened smile. The same expression I gave to every single soul who's been asking that same question, now it's her turn.

But if I could be the most honest of a person, I won't be able to even find the proper words to describe how it really felt inside, how it really made me think of swimming into the void. It was excruciating, to the point where everything felt numb.

It was Dawn on the stage now, one could clearly see the white dress under her graduation robes. She's gorgeously dressed today, I bet even Shane would think of the same. Screw Denise actually, Shane, you have no idea what you're missing out on.

The real genuine article, yet you decide to go for a side news instead. What a waste of heart.
But well, destiny and fate plays with our hearts.

It was my turn to approach the stage, with Dawn just a few steps away from the stage exit. I brushed my robes and adjusted my graduation hat. Shane continued to nag me about how uncomfortable being in these graduation robes, knowing for a fact that we are wearing a suit underneath.

I'm raining inside—yes, that has two meanings if you know exactly what I'm going through.

First few steps away from my seat and I could hear people whispering despite the huge crowd in the auditorium. Just for one second, do you think covering your mouth whilst speaking would actually conceal a single thing? No, it made it crystal to me.