THE END

37 6 7

by mrs_willow

by mrs_willow

Soundtrack: Sad Song by We the Kings

God made Jai as my best friend, but he was meant to stay at a short time. But it wasn't short at all. When all our memories are put together, the laughter, the joy and the love, tied and compiled, they will extend light years away.

What we have is a blessing. A blessing that we utilized and hone as God wants is to be.

God answered my prayers. He gave me Jai back for just a brief and satisfying weeks. Helped me become stronger, and he helped Jai become braver. God gave me purpose, and He gave me an angel. He gave him short life but gave him unlimited love. He gave me light and warmth, Jai is my lantern.

Jai's remaining days were spent on smiles and laughter and not a worry about the last breathe he would take. As days go by, he found his voice and was able to insult me again, the way he used to and I complained, the way I used to. He was able to walk and kicked me around, the way he used to and I kicked him back, the way I used to. it was a miracle. He have said 'I love you' to us more than once and he proved it more than the stars I can count. He stayed and lived.

While the sun is on his way down the mountain ranges, it left streaks of light enough to naturally lit up the room and it reminds me of lantern and the chill of his pale knuckles reminded me of the night where we first had our lantern. The movement of his chest was a struggle but his face says differently, happiness was flashed to his pale face and as he looked at me, his eyes are weary, I know he wasn't ready. He's got so much more to give yet plenty of time, and tears creep down from his eye. I gripped harder, I don't want to let him go.

For a moment, I want to go back to the time where it was all rainbows and unicorn, and ghosts and goblins but this is reality. I feel like, I was in a rollercoaster with death-defying height, I know it will destroy me but I cannot go back, the car has already moved. My sight blur and tears dropped, he weakly raised his hand, touched my face, for what I didn't expect, he slapped me slightly, he smiled. And that's when his breathe resigned.

* * *

It's the day of the funeral. I cannot listen to any eulogy nor sit or stand in front of his casket let alone talk about our memories together. I can't. It will kill me.

The weeks before his death was not an easy show. Happy memories are more painful to reminisce than the painful one. Because I know, that the happiness that keeps on replaying in my mind is not going to be replayed in real life anymore.

I watched him thirty feet away, as his white casket dipped under the earth, my heart shatters in a slow torture. This time, I cannot see him anymore, I wouldn't feel the warmth or the chill of his knuckles, the look on his eyes when he smiles, I wouldn't hear the sound of his laughter or the sound of his isnults and joke in my ears. God knows I would miss how his eye rolls as his expression and how he make me laugh with his humour and pranks, how he would make me smile when I am sad, how he would bore me with his novels. I will miss the way that he's being a best friend.

I strode away from the crowd, he gave me his last letter. It was shorter than the first but the dream catcher template sent me back to a year and the month and the weeks and the days when he was still with me.

Dear Ani,

So, I was not meant to stay for so long but I wouldn't complain about it.

My last day with you is a blessing, I feel alive and well, fear still visits me as I lay in bed fearing happiness might lead me to be unwilling to accept my Fate but it doesn't matter anymore because I spent my last breathe with the one who matters to me and would do everything just to put smile in my dying state.

Ani, the hardest thing about having a cancer, is not the cancer, but the fear of leaving you when I have so much love to give but then, maybe I was meant to be a lantern up here and you are meant down there. That even though we're in the different places our heart beats the same flare.

I will let you go, so that you'll shine beautifully even on your own, and I will always look after you, just remember to look up.

Your Lantern, Jai

And as if by chance, as I look up, my eyes are filled with lanterns ascending all the way to heaven, and as if Fate has its favour on me, I saw a lone lantern, floating lowly in the air, with red heart paint, my heart ached at the view and I know then, that someday, when it is my time, I will be with my sky lantern.