Pain & Insanity *ON HOLD* (ASHTON IRWIN AU)

Pain & Insanity

**WARNING!!**

This book deals with substance abuse, abuse, and mental illnesses. I made this book to reduce stigma against mental illness. Of course, these illnesses will be over dramatized throughout the novel to make it interesting. Not everyone with a mental illness is over depressed, or is completely bonkers. My characters are like this because it makes the book interesting. I don't want people walking away after reading this and think, 'Omg, she has depression?!??! She must want to kill herself all the time!" That's not what its about. This is a STORY. So please, don't make fun of others for their insecurities and their hurting.

I hope that you enjoy!

-Mechaela

**

Ashton's POV:

I remember how the sound of footsteps echoed as they rang throughout the grimy and thin, once white walls of my demolished bedroom. I remember mold of every colour and odor; how it grew into every crevasse of the small, box-like room. Papers and shards of broken beer bottles had been strewed around onto every non-broken piece of furniture. My once clear, pale arms were slit from the shards of glass and needles that covered the dirty floor. I had held my breath and covered my curly head with my bloodied hands. As silently as I could've mustered, I slid my legs up to reach my chest so that I was laying on my side in the fetal position. The glass had dug its way through the thin material of my pants. I remember the sting of it burring itself into my small thighs. I clamped my mouth shut and didn't scream. I had known that if I did, my hiding spot would be discovered.

It's a shame that I was discovered.

"I can hear you breathing." He had cackled brutally. Hot tears had pricked at my hazel eyes when he spoke. Those five simple words were laced with such hatred and disgust. Each one had hurt me deeply; much like how the glass did to my small body. "You might as well come out now little boy. I know where you're hiding."

His words had acted like a cue of some sort; my body began to shake with the purest form of terror. 'Just leave me alone.' I wished inside my head. 'Please.'

His booted feet approached my spot underneath my scrawny, pitiful excuse of a bed. Fear had its cold fingers wrapped tightly around my heart. At the time, it seemed to me that the universe was enjoying this horrible suspense. The gruff snicker that he had made had sounded much closer to me. "Stupid child." He whispered.

For a couple of moments, everything had been still. I did not hear a single breath leave his lips, but I did not hear him retreat from the room, either. It seemed as though time in itself had stopped. To my horrified seven year old brain, the dust particles that had once danced in the stuffy air had also halted. But all too soon, time came crashing back again.

A large, cold hand gripped my ankle and yanked me out from underneath the bed. I screamed out in surprise and pain as the smashed beer bottles scraped along my stomach and face. With raw power, he pulled me up and turned me to face him. Hazel eyes that matched my own had burned into me with hatred and a sick twinge of pleasure. "Told you that you couldn't hide from me forever." He chuckled. The pungent smell of alcohol hit me across the face.

With one swift movement, the heavy hand of my father fell down upon my cheek. Soon other blows rained down on my stomach, my nose, and anywhere else pain could be felt.

My name is Ashton Irwin, and this is the unfortunatetale of my life.

*

Every important character has their own songs to explain who they are and their background stories:

Ashton Irwin: Monster-Imagine Dragons

Luke Hemmings: This is the Best -Uss/ Habits-Tove Lo

Calum Hood: Bloodstream - Ed Sheeran/Habits- Tove Lo

Michael Clifford: What Now? - Rhianna

Genevieve White: Let Me Love You- Neyo/ Good Life- Three Days Grace

Anna: Paralyzer- Finger Eleven.