His Alpha✔️✔️

14. PRIZE

"I am not him. I'm Jin. I don't have a twin, because if I do, then we'll be mates. That's how it works. Your Wolf and my wolf didn't say anything to us right? I'm not related to your Seokjin. Stop fantasising things and focus on ruling your pack."

The way he delivered those words was not a manner of an Omega. He's strong and more intimidating. He is so sure of himself, but despite all of that I still see my Seokjin.

I looked away from him, he will never understand the pain and the guilt that I am experiencing. I don't want to explain further to him ,and I'm not fantasising.

"I'm not daydreaming or fantasising, Jin. This is me trying to hold myself together for my pack. This is me trying to be a better leader for all of them, I need Seokjin or else I'll go crazy. And talking to him this way makes me feel sane. I don't know why I'm saying this to you, you won't understand how painful it is to be too late about everything, how everytime I close my eyes I can see him losing the life he has. It still haunts me, Jin. I wanted to say sorry to him and apologize. I wanted to make it up to him but there is no way I can do that now. He's already gone.

Before I wanted power and to rule the pack, but now that I got it I kept looking for him, and then you came, I thought some miracle happened and he's back, that the gods have heard my prayer but no. You're not the same I can never have Seokjin back."

When will these tears stop falling? I still can't let go of the pain. I'm afraid that if I do it will be unfair for Seokjin, I deserve all these pain after what I've caused him. I wiped my tears and composed my self, I can't stand to look weak in front of him. It's like me saying to Seokjin that I didn't become better, because everytime I look at Jin, it's always Seokjin that I see.

"Too bad for you, Taehyung, you've lost your chance. Second chances don't exist Taehyung, no one resurrects from the dead. Nobody. Swallow that fact. Your Seokjin won't come back. Be a better person, move on and be at the little least happy."

He tapped my shoulder and left me. I didn't bothered to look where he's going and one thing is sure, he already left. It's easy to say that I needed to move on and be happy but I can't! How many times would I need to say it? I can't manage to smile when I know that a life was taken away because of me, it's me punishing myself for all eternity. This is the price I have to pay, I will live my forever grieving for him.

"How can I be happy, Seokjin? You're not here. I only realized it now, but I need you here."

====

After that day on the sea, I often see Jin around the pack. Nobody spoke a word to him and I don't know if the pack was scared of him, they don't interact with him at all or they are as shocked as me. I know they also see Seokjin in him he's often around the woods familiarizing on the pack. His right hand man was not with him unlike the first time, he's always alone and just contemplating about things. I would sometimes see him just sitting in one corner and looking at nothingness as if he's in deep thought.

I don't talk to him since that day. There's nothing to talk about, he made it clear he's not Seokjin, he is a different person. Maybe V is wrong when he said that Jin is dangerous, he is harmless, he's just intimidating.

I'm here again at Seokjin standing in front of him, I'm just enjoying the peace and serenity that the sea is giving me. I closed my eyes and just feel the breeze inhaling the salty scent that the sea gives away, letting the sound of the waves seep through my soul giving me the peace that nobody can give.

"It's peaceful here isn't it?" I furrowed my brows but I didn't opened my eyes, I know who is it. His strawberry scent is invading my nostrils. I hummed in response to him, he's right it's always been peaceful here.

"Forgive my attitude the last time. I was not my best self that day. I'm sorry for your loss. I can't imagine what you've went through, forgive me for what I told you the last time, it was so rude of me."

I opened my eyes and faced him, "You're not to blame. You just said your opinion. It's okay. What you said was true, in my case second chances don't exist."

I don't blame him nor I'm mad at him, he had just brought to life what I can't admit to myself. I lost the one and only chance to be with my mate. I just become like my father, and he's so right that nobody resurrects from the dead. I won't argue with that because I had accepted that already.

"But I thought of something, Taehyung. You can't just stand here and waste your time not doing-"

"Stop right there!" I cut his words, he can't dare say that Seokjin is a waste of my time. I will always make time for him he's a part of me and I can't let him feel left out again. " ... Don't say that Seokjin is a waste of time. Respect him, especially I'm in front of you."

"Okay fine. But what I'm trying to say is that if you really wanted his forgiveness so bad, why don't you think I'm your Seokjin and apologize to me. Maybe that will help you move on a bit and forget him." He sounded so sure and determined and I'm not happy about it. How can he not get it that I don't want to forget? I'm enjoying the pain this brings me.

"Jin, what you don't understand is that I will lavish on this pain for the rest of my life. Nobody would understand me but I know what I want. If I would apologize, it would be in front of the real Seokjin."

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

"I'm here to save you, I'm here to ruin you
You're the one who called me, see how it's sweet
Follow the sound of the flute
I'm takin' over you"