His Alpha✔️✔️

15. HAPPY

Note:

1. I think we can finish this book today or until tomorrow. But I think today is enough, we have two to three more chapters to go including the Epilogue, I think.

2. I've always dropped hints so don't be shocked to whatever this will come out.

3. I love how you react whether Jin is Seokjin. Your questions will be answered soonest.

Taehyung's

"Do you really think that he would want that for you? Is your Seokjin that cruel? Do you think he would want that life of yours to be filled with guilt because of him?

It's okay to move on, I take back my words, don't forget, always have a constant reminder of him in your heart. But you should live your life and make the most out of it. Do what he can't do. I see that you wanted to live for the both of you, but you're here, only breathing just to be called alive. That's two different things, Taehyung."

I can't swallow everything he said all at once, he's right. He's always right, but will Seokjin ever forgive me if I become okay? If I can smile again? Will he be okay with that when I didn't give him a chance to even smile when he's still alive. It will always be a question nobody but Seokjin could answer.

"I know you are right, but wouldn't it be unfair for him that I'm happy? I always keep on saying that! I think it's unfair, I think I shouldn't be happy. It's I, not Seokjin. I know deep down myself that he would forgive me, but I won't forgive myself. I don't deserve that. Not a little bit of that!"

I don't care if I raised my voice at him or if he's startled and became afraid of me, because how many times would I make them understand? How many times!? It's not funny anymore that they keep on insisting that I won't move on! Fuck moving on! I will never move from this. Let it be like this for all eternity I don't really care!

I saw him raise his hand and what he did next was slap me hard. I widened my eyes, nobody disrespected me that way ever!

"Then why don't you just die? You are given the chance to live yet you don't make use of it! Seokjin would be very disappointed."

He left me and walked back to the pack. I looked back at the sea searching for answers, "Would you really want me to live my life, Seokjin? Won't you be mad at me for setting myself free? Won't you despise me if I will let go of the pain? I promise I will never forget you, but tell me first if you would not hate me. Because if you do, then I'll be happy living this misery. I'd rather have that than be happy."

I lay down on the sand and watch as the night sky took over the heavens. I just laid there, head empty, I can't think of anything now.

I was looking at the stars and my father's face came into view. "Taehyung, get up there. Stop crying."

His face looked worried. I wiped my tears that I didn't knew existed. I got up to sit and faced him with a little smile.

"Taehyung, what's happening?" He sat beside me and faced me. I know I can't hide anything from him, and I might need his advice on this one. I know he'll know what to do.

"Father, I met someone who looked like Seokjin some days ago, he's from the other pack that wanted alliance to us. I was shocked when I saw him and asked him if he has a brother or a lost twin," father stiffened at his seat, he is probably as shocked as me, I know he'll want to see Jin. " .... But their scents were too different, so I know their not the same. He knew about Seokjin because he saw me here talking to the sea and I told him what happened, but what I'm crying about is that he said that I should move on and be happy. Father, should I be happy? Do I deserve it? We both lost someone important because of me. Am I still worthy of that happiness?"

He is crying while looking at me. We both are crying. He seemed to be in much pain as me, I knew I've caused this. If I was not careless our father won't cry like this.

"Taehyung, it's me who is at fault here, don't blame it all on you. Please stop thinking that way. I'm sorry I made you like that, I should have been here all throughout these three years. I shouldn't have left you alone. Now you're like this. I'm so sorry. You still deserve a chance to be happy, son. You deserve it so much."

He pulled me into a tight hug and it's all I need to be determined to start over again.

====

The day after ...

I'm still here standing at the beside the sea, but this time, I have a new strength to live a life I was supposed to be having.

"Hi, Seokjin, I still miss you like what I did yesterday, but I have news for you, I will try to be happy for the both of us. Just like what that nurse said on to me three years ago, you are the half of me and I will make sure that we will be experiencing all the things I failed to give you. I will do everything in behalf of us. Sorry if it took me three years to do this. I just can't let it go."

For the first time in three years I smiled genuinely. It feels so nice to be able to do it without feeling a single bit of guilt in my heart.

"So, Taehyung, I see you've decided to finally move? So that slap did the trick huh?" Jin appeared out of nowhere and I was startled for a bit. I flashed him a little smile, he's right the slap did the trick.

"I guess so, I will try to live for the both of us. To really live my life this time. Thank you for making me realize that."

And there it is again, his eyes are changing colors, but this time it's not just a short amount of time. It's really turning blue this time.

"You're welcome, Taehyung."

I blinked my eyes a few times, his eyes are still blue.

"Jin, you're eyes, they're blue."

I blurted out those words and he just looked at me, face blank, not saying anything.

"I know. It has always been like this. Because all along I'm your Seokjin."

Nothing much different from yesterday
Same old days, it's just you're not here
We were together just up until yesterday
But it's to the point where it's scary, same days but no you

- 134340, BTS