𝔸 𝕃𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥 𝕚𝕟 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝔻𝕒𝕣𝕜𝕟𝕖𝕤𝕤 ➁

28. Bad Ideas

This is probably the worst idea in the history of worst ideas. Chrissy and I going on a double date with Liam and Rae was probably like the number one worst idea of all time. It's most likely going to feel like stabbing myself in the leg. Repeatedly. Who knows, maybe I'll end up doing that at the dinner table. It's already going to be a bloody mess as it is.

Chrissy had suggested it two nights ago when I'd gone and picked her up from work. I was about to end things with her that night but nooo she just had to throw this out there. Liam had given a cocky smile and said 'why not', leaving Rae and I just dumbfounded and agreeing with them. We probably looked ridiculous as we said a numerous amount of 'sures' and 'why nots' with a 'yeah, that sounds like a great idea' thrown in there.

Yeah, great idea, my ass.

Terrible, absolutely fucking terrible, is what this is. I doubt I'll be able to do the one thing my father somehow mastered, which is the ability to keep my emotions hidden from the world. The only person he ever really let his guard down around was my mother. Around her you could see the absolute adoration he had for her.

I, on the other hand, am absolute shit at hiding my feelings. It's all over my face. I'm probably going to be read like an open book tonight, especially after the other day.

Rae had cried after she'd told me everything that night. I'm guessing a tad too much alcohol had to do with the fact that she'd told me just how badly I'd hurt her, not to mention the fact that she passed out in my arms directly afterward. I'd laid her in bed and I could've left but I didn't. I'm too selfish. I climbed right into bed behind her. I'd wrapped my arm around her, held her body close to mine, and nuzzled my face in her hair. I breathed her in deeply before I eventually fell asleep.

The next morning was a bit more of a shit show though. With Liam showing up and having to throw the 'L' word out there, I'd felt like I'd been punched directly in the gut. That man somehow made me feel physical blows without even lying a finger on me. Knowing that he was the one that got to hold her like I had, smell her like that, tell her things like that was worse than any physical assault on my body.

Then, after he'd left, I could hardly hold my irritation back. I'd yelled, she'd yelled and eventually I held her as she cried in my arms again because she couldn't tell me to go. She may hate me for actually vocalizing it, but she missed me too. I could've kept my mouth shut and left but, for some reason, I can't contain my feelings when it comes to Rae. This is why tonight is such a shit idea.

The moment we'd met up with them outside I had to keep my jaw from basically dropping to the ground because she looked edible. Absolutely fucking edible. She wore a black dress with a plunging neckline that had me picturing just how perfect her tits looked underneath it. Her long red locks are in loose waves and all I want to do every time I look at her is run my hands right through it while making sweet sweet love to her. 

"This is a nice place." Chrissy's voice pulls me out of my head. She's looking around in awe of the restaurant. "Like, really nice."

"She's right, Seth." Liam nods his head at me. "Nice choice."

Nobody fucking cares what you think. Instead of saying that I go with, "it's one of my favorite places." I walk up to the hostess and smile saying, "reservation for McCaslin."

"For four?" She flutters her eyelashes at me and I can tell she'd rather it be just a reservation between her and me.

"Yes, that'd be the one."

"Right this way." She grabs a few menus before leading the way to the private area in the back where there are only a handful of booths.  

We all sit down, I slide in first and so does Rae on the opposite side. So now we're sitting directly across from one another. She gives me an awkward tentative smile and I know she feels exactly how I feel right now.