𝔸 𝕃𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥 𝕚𝕟 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝔻𝕒𝕣𝕜𝕟𝕖𝕤𝕤 ➁

46. Splitting Open Wounds

I throw my fist into the bag in front of me angrily. With each snap of my right fist I can feel my cuts opening, bleeding into my glove. I don't care. I just continue to punch the bag in front of me thinking about the argument Rae and I just had. I fucking hate arguing with her.

I'm dripping in sweat head to toe because for the past few hours I've been here. I haven't checked my phone once but I'm sure there are a handful of missed calls from Rae. Well, after punching her mirror and probably terrifying her, probably not.

I'm such a fucking idiot.

Rae can't honestly believe I don't want to be with her, that I'd rather see her be with Liam. She's out of her mind if she thinks I want him to be anywhere near her. I punch the bag three more times in unison with my right hand enjoying the painful feeling that takes my mind off of the mental image of him sleeping with her. That doesn't last long when I think about how he's already been inside of her. His mouth has been on her, her mouth on him. I throw my fists more furiously with each thought that plagues me.

I close my eyes remembering a time when I'd watched him kiss her. I'd seen him push his fingers inside of her, pleasuring her. Mine. I think as I throw my entire body into my punches. I don't want him to ever touch her like that again.

I think back to Rae's last statement before I acted like a psycho and shattered her mirror with my bare fist. She'd acted like I'm happy about getting Katie pregnant, like I'd intentionally tried to. That is if the baby is even mine. I'll be so fucking pissed if it isn't mine and I'm throwing my relationship away for nothing. Not for nothing. I have to remind myself of this. She wants to go to that school. She shouldn't give that up for me whether I knocked somebody up or not.

I wish she were the one that got pregnant. Fuck. I can't think like that. I cannot think like that. But now that I've thought about it I can't not think about it.

I picture her beautiful body round with our baby. I picture a future quite the opposite of what it's going to be. One with her happy and content as my wife, raising our children. But that's not Raegan. No, she's not that type of woman. That's why I have to let her go.

I feel the exhaustion finally set in at the overwhelming thought. My steps falter and I brace myself on the bag in front of me, placing my forehead on it as I catch my breath. I close my eyes as I take a few deep breaths. I'm still so confused.

After I finally regain my composure I stand up straight and roll my shoulders out. I take my gloves off and look at my tattered right hand. Ahh fuck. It looks so much worse than it had before. I shake my head irritatedly as I make my way to the shower.

I rinse off all of the grime and sweaty stench that clings to me as I scrub myself. The cuts on my hand sting as I scrub the shampoo and conditioner mixture from my hair. Once I feel like my mind and thoughts are finally clean I turn off the faucet and grab my towel from its hook. I dry myself from head to toe then wrap it around my waist before opening the shower curtain to see a familiar face looking at me angrily.

"You punched her fucking mirror and just left her like that?" I realize he's not just angry, Rhys is fucking furious. "Her bedroom floor is covered in glass, asshole."

"I told her I would pick it up when I got back." The face he makes is an incredulous face to say the least.

"You're fucking joking right?" I shrug. "Wow, you're a fucking piece of work, Seth. I can't fucking believe you did that. That's my fucking sister we're talking about." I don't say anything I just look away from him. "You're a piece of shit. Don't you ever get like that around my sister ever again." He shoves me backward and I let him, stumbling a bit. He shoves me again saying, "do you hear me, Seth!? NEVER. AGAIN."

"Listen, I'm sorry. I got angry and it just happened. I didn't mean to break it... I was just..."

"Out of fucking control. Yeah, I got it." I close my eyes and feel like such a piece of shit. "I told you I wasn't going to let you treat her like Sarah. I won't. She may like it when you get like that but Rae doesn't. She's a fucking wreck right now." I look up at him feeling miserable with those last words.

"What?"

"She called me hysterical and was siting in the middle of her bedroom floor sobbing when I got to her place." I walk past him to get to my things. I need to get changed as quickly as possible so I can go fix what I fucking broke, literally and figuratively.

"Is she still home?" I ask as I begin to slip on my clothes.

"Yes, she's still home but she was packing a bag before I left."

I pause with my shirt in my hands as I look over to him asking, "wait, she's packing a bag? As in, she's leaving?"

"Well what did you expect, asshole? Tell her to leave, smash her mirror, and then leave her all alone, not picking up a single one of her phone calls, and she'd just wait for whenever you felt like coming back. You didn't just push her away, Seth, you shoved her right the fuck away from you."

"No, fuck no." I quickly put on my shirt as fast as I can. I'm not ready for her to leave yet. I didn't even get to say goodbye. "Fuck." I zip my bag up and throw it over my shoulder as I slip on my shoes.

Rhys steps in front of me right before I'm about to make my way out of the room saying, "what do you want from her?"

"Nothing, Rhys. I love her. I just want to love her." He gives me a hard stare.

"Then fix your fucking attitude or let her go. I know a lot of shit is going on right now. I know you're feeling lost but that's no excuse to take that out on Raegan. She loves you and she'll let you do it but I won't. Do you understand me?"

"Get the fuck out of my way, Rhys." I push him out of my way but he reacts quickly and shoves me back even harder. "You want to do this?" I throw my bag down. "You really want to do this?"

"Clearly you need to take out that fucking anger somewhere." Hey says, squaring up to me with his fists guarding his face.

"Get. Out. Of. My. Way." I grit each word out thinking of how with every second that passes is another second of her leaving before I can get to her.

"Fuck off."

And with that I take a swing at him but he dodges it with a counter swing that just barely misses my jaw. I throw a few more punches in his direction but he's quicker than me even though he can't hit as hard. He throws an upper-cut that catches my chin, rattling my skull. I shake my head out and calculate his jabs when he surprises me by throwing a cross punch that I just miss. I step backward, which he counters by stepping forward. I surprise him by not taking another step back but switching stances as I take a step forward with my right and give him a left punch right to the dome.

That punch hits and it hits hard. I watch Rhys's eyes flutter into the back of his head and realize quickly that I just knocked my friend the fuck out. "Shit." I exclaim as I immediately reach forward, catching his falling body before it can smack the tile floor. "Rhys? Buddy, come on. You with me?" I get no response and start to worry but after a few moments he starts to regain consciousness.

"Where'd you learn that one?" He barely managed to mumble out. "I didn't know you could do that."

"I've been teaching myself to switch stances." I admit honestly, holding his barely conscious body.

"Jesus fucking Christ." He reaches up and touches his head. "Ouch, my dude."

"You started it." I chuckle down to him.

"Why'd you have to fuck my sister?" I'm just going to chalk that one up to him being barely here. "Hmm? Why?"

"Because I'm in love with her, Rhys."

"Then tell her that and fix what you fucking broke."

"I'm going to try, Rhys. I'm going to try."