Growing Old With You (Part of Those Three Little Words threequel)

Part 8

29th December 1998
Brian's POV
"Are you sure you want to do this?" Roger asked and I looked at him as tears brimmed my eyes, "I'm sure... I need to do this" I said and he wrapped his arms around me tightly, burying his head in my chest. He wouldn't usually be so close to me in public but it would be the last time I saw him for a while.

I wrapped my arms around him and rested my chin on the top of his head, kissing him, "I love you. I'll write to you, I'll phone you, I promise I'll keep in touch" I said and he nodded, holding my coat, "please... I want to know you're there safe" he said and I rubbed his back then gently pulled away to look at him.

"I love you" I said and he almost started crying, "I love you too. Take care of yourself" I kissed him again, on the lips this time, then turned away and started walking towards my gate. I couldn't look back at him because I would definitely have started crying but I just carried on onto the plane and took my seat.

My stomach flipped and twisted the whole flight over with how nervous I was and I felt like I was going to throw up as I got in the taxi to take me to Cottonwood. I knew it would be good for me but I hated being all on my own, I'd always been surrounded by people and now I was doing this alone... I felt so lost.

The taxi dropped me off outside and I walked into the building, getting that revolting hospital smell as soon as I stepped inside. "Hello sir, are you a visitor?" the woman behind the desk noticed me looking quite lost so I went over to her and put my bags down by my feet, "I'm looking for where I can check in" I said and she looked at me then asked me my name.

"Brian... I'll take your bags for checking and just go through that door there" she pointed towards a glass door leading into a room so I went in and was greeted by a man who was shorter than me but much stockier, "hello, I was wondering where-" I started but he cut me off, "keep moving, sir"

I just shut my mouth and let him lead me through to a much smaller room with a more pleasant-looking man stood to welcome me. "Brian, I assume" he said and I nodded with a little smile as the doors were shut behind me, "yeah, um, when can I have my stuff back?" I asked and he shrugged a little, "whenever we've finished checking it. I'm sorry about this, Brian, but I need you to take all your clothes off so I can do a physical" he said and I was hesitant but did as he asked, letting him check my clothes and place them in a cubbyhole.

I was stood in front of these two men in my boxers and the younger man was insisting that I took them off. With a burst of bravery, I let them drop and handed them over, now standing bollock-naked and red-faced for them. "Thank you. I won't take long" the younger man said as he pulled on a pair of gloves and started to inspect my body, asking me to lift and spread and all of that.

I was so embarrassed but, as he promised, he wasn't long and gave me back my clothes. I got dressed and followed him through another door into a long hallway, "alright, I'll let you talk to one of our therapists so if you go and sit in there, they'll come to you" he said so I went and sat in this room that had floor to ceiling windows looking out into a beautiful garden.

There were so many beautiful flowers out there and I was so distracted with them that I didn't notice the older lady walk in and sit in the chair. "Brian May?" She asked and her voice startled me but I nodded, "yeah?" I looked at her and she gave me a warm smile, the first I'd had since I last saw Roger.

"Just wanted to check that's you. So, um, your doctor referred you to us for what?" She asked and I knew she was looking at my notes so I had to be honest, "I've been having a bit of trouble, um, controlling myself, I guess. I've been so angry and stressed lately and-and I want to learn how to change that" I said and she nodded a little.

"Okay... well, we can't really do that. We can give you the tools to deal with it but we can't change your emotions and all that" she explained and I felt a bit stupid, "yeah, of course... it's still better than nothing" I said and she hummed in agreement. "Alright, that's all good. We'll get you a schedule then" she gave me a small smile then pulled out a piece of paper, "so, what time would you usually get up at home?" she asked and I shrugged, "I get up when I can, really, so I don't have a sort of set time"