A Shared Delusion || Kacchako

Chapter Nineteen: Not Good Enough

The art above is mine! 

By the time Uraraka catches up to Midoriya, they are both outside. She's still wearing the tattered lingerie, loosely covered by an oversized t-shirt.

"Deku– I... I'm sorry you saw that."

"Me too."

Uraraka lets out a muffled sob when she hears the disgust and betrayal in his voice.

"Please Deku, just... just tell me what you're thinking."

There is a long pause before he gathers his words. He turns around to her and sees her. Tears are streaming down her face. It softens him, and he sees a montage in his head of the fun times they had together. But then he looks and sees what she's wearing and it fuels him with enough anger to allow him to talk without completely breaking down.

"...I'm thinking that you've changed Uraraka. This isn't the you that I know. I thought that... that I could stomach it because he was treating you well and in the end I want you to be happy. But apparently he's not. He's not a good influence on you. He's not good enough for you... you deserve the best."

"What'd you saw you fucking piece of absolute trash?" Bakugou emerges from the shadows of the building and startles both of them. Uraraka immediately recognizes the look in his eyes. It's the one she's only seen very few times when he looks at Midoriya, but this time, it's like the hatred he feels toward Midoriya has multiplied tenfold. She looks back to the green haired boy to see his body language. The situation is not good.

"You heard me Kacchan. You aren't good enough."

"Say that one more time," Bakugou says daringly. His entire body is shaking with rage in a way it has never done before. Uraraka is honestly terrified of what might happen. The people she loves most in the world other than her parents, despise each other violently.

"Y–you guys–"

She's cut off by Midoriya.

"YOU'RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH! YOU'VE TAKEN EVERYTHING FROM ME IN MY LIFE. YOU'VE PUT ME THROUGH HELL. BUT YOU CAN'T TAKE HER. DO YOU EVEN HAVE FEELINGS FOR HER?! OR ARE YOU MOTIVATED TO DO THIS JUST LIKE EVERYTHING ELSE YOU DO, BECAUSE YOU'RE SCARED! DEEP DOWN YOU KNOW THAT YOU WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO LIVE UP TO THE EXPECTATIONS THAT OTHERS AND YOU HAVE SET FOR YOURSELF. SO YOU TRY TO MAKE OTHER PEOPLE FEEL WEAK. NOT THIS TIME KACCHAN. FACE IT. YOU AREN'T GOOD ENOUGH. NOT FOR HER, NOT FOR ANYTHING."

The air is painted with a sickeningly sweet smell. It's Bakugou's quirk. His rage is making him sweat intensely. Uraraka sees this moment in slow motion, she knows what's going to happen. She tries to step in the middle of them, but she can't move fast enough. Bakugou sprints in and tackles Midoriya. Midoriya has predicted this and already had readied himself. Green electricity sparks around the two. He gets his legs in between him and bakugou's chest. With 5% of One for All, he kicks Bakugou off of him. Bakugou flies upward and uses explosions to control his direction. He shoots downward into Midoriya and punches him into the ground. The two know that they can't use their quirks that much because the destruction of it would be too great. In a hand to hand fight, without powers, Midoriya doesn't stand a chance. And Bakugou knows this. He grabs the freckled boy's head and bashes it into the ground. Uraraka lets out a shriek.

"KATSUKI!!! STOP!!"

Bakugou can't hear her. He can't hear anything. He can only hear the words ringing in his head, "you're not good enough." Bakugou's need to destroy was more overcoming that it ever has been. He repeatedly bashes Midoriya's head into the hard dirt. He goes limp, but this doesn't stop Bakugou. Uraraka runs in toward him, and without thinking, he hits her, hard. She flies back and knocks her head against a tree. Blood trickles down and forms a swirling river. In the dry earth.

"SAY IT!!! SAY IT AGAIN!!!! YOU CAN'T NOW HUH? THAT'S BECAUSE I'M GOOD ENOUGH DEKU. YOU'RE JUST AS USELESS AS YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN. I AM GOOD ENOUGH."

Bakugou's rage subsides by 1% and it's enough to let the sound of pain being exhibited by Uraraka, to enter his ears. His hands start to shake from fear, not anger. He snaps back into reality. He refuses to look behind him. He only looks down, at Midoriya. He's still alive, but unresponsive. He's out cold. Bakugou weakly gets up and stares at the ground. The thumping of blood being pumped throughout his body is deafening. Uraraka lets out a weak sound.

"Katsuki.... wait."

He doesn't look back. He starts to run. He runs all the way home. He is still sprinting full speed as he goes up the stairs to his bedroom. He crashes into his bed. He is hyperventilating heavily. In the past, he has tried to keep his panic attacks secret. Know one knows about them. He hasn't told Uraraka specifically, but she knows that he has anxiety and guesses that it is really bad. It feels like he is a storm, running, just trying to find the eye of the storm for a brief moment of peace, but never reaches it. So badly does he want peace, but his thoughts latch onto his greatest fears and torment him with them. He's sobbing uncontrollably and rocks back and forth on the bed. His grip on the sheets makes his knuckles completely white. His vision pinpoints, and he blacks out.