ATOMS OF YOU

14

Morning was hard when I had to wake up at five in the morning, and catch a bus to get to the college. It wasn't a long ride to the place, my classes would start at six thirty in the morning.
The first class went by really fast, I guess it was because I was sleepy, my books were all marked and highlighted, every note was there but I was on the other side on the world, daydreaming with Alex.

— Grey, would you please tell us the importance of E. A. Poe in literature? –the professor asked me while I had my sight on my book, but thinking about nothing related
— Umh, yes...—I searched the answer on the book, but it wasn't there– Actually it's not what we were discussing, but he's known for his short tales, the goth innovation and the horror genre.
— So you were paying attention. –the professor hated me— Students, see you next time.

He finally left the room and my classmates, laughed on the low, at least I proved myself being right. Sometimes I just couldn't understand why he hated me. I got up for the break, finding Victoria, or Vee, how I called her, to share it.
We sat on the green grass, while she was typing on his laptop, I layed on the floor.

— How's Alex? –she asked
— Doing fine. He's on a work trip. –maybe it wasn't the time to say he was touring— Soon he'll be back. Yesterday he called me and fell asleep on the phone.
— Trust me, when a man does that, it's because he really is into you.
— Let's hope the best.
— I want you to be happy, you deserve it. –she never had a boyfriend, but she wanted me to have one
— And when will you take your chance to be happy? –I asked
— We are talking about you.
— Yes, and now about you. –the bell rang, and saved her

My phone vibed on my pocket, it was Alex calling me. I could not get to answer, so I waited a little, and asked to use the toilet.
I got there and locked myself into a cubicle, sitting over the toilet lid, I marked his number, quickly he answered.

Me— Babe. –I greeted him
Alex— My woman. –he answered with a soft voice
Me— I couldn't answer, I was in a class, I locked myself in the bathroom, I wanted to hear you.
Alex— Woman, we can talk later, it's okay, or you can..–I interrupted him
Me— I want to hear you. How are you?
Alex— I love me some demanding woman.–he laughed— I'm fine, traveling, the bus is really boring. How's college?
Me— Exhausting. I rather be in bed.
Alex— I'd rather be in bed with you.
Me— Yes. I need your arms.
Alex— Are my arms a fetish?
Me— Could be, I really do like them. They're strong and soft. You probably like my ass. Don't judge me, I don't judge you. –I laughed
Alex— Well, they are similar, thick and soft instead. –he laughed but he meant it
Me— You nasty. Talk me about your day, I missed your voice.
Alex— Well, I woke up a little ago, I'm having another show tomorrow, but today we are traveling, basically nothing interesting.
Me— At least your professor does not hate you like mine. —I laughed, and tried to remain quiet
Alex— Won't you be chasten by skipping the class?
Me— Not by skipping this little. It's okay.
Alex— Are you taking the risk?
Me— For you, yes. –I could hear his smile
Alex— Woman, I need some of your kisses.–I didn't expect that
Me— I do need yours too, a nap with your arms all over me.

The conversation turned cheesy, he was really cheesy and romantic, he would make my cheeks turn red in seconds. But I really missed him.
I went back to the class minutes later, nobody asked, so I acted normal. Everything was okay.
The day kept normal, Alex and I texted eachother some pictures of what we were doing through the day.

I took the bus back home with Victoria, who lived near me, but she remained silent, maybe I left her like that claiming that she needed to be happy. She wouldn't let herself date anyone.

I got back home for another boring day at home. I got some homework done, from college and work too.
The week passed by slowly, maybe because I was waiting for something. It was finally Friday, I was back home and there was no work to do, luckily. My friends all wanted to go out to a discotheque that was latin, or something like that. It was some kind of celebration for me, even though they loved reggaeton by themselves, including Mark, he was who loved it the most. They would all come to my house and then we'd get to the club.

I was already dressed up and ready, sitting on my window while they were doing the touch ups, music was pumping loud, it went from Ariana Grande to Daddy Yankee, weird. I wore my little black dress and black knee boots. I knew these boots would hurt later, but I was okay with it.
Alex texted me a picture of him starting his Saturday morning, with a coffee, while I texted him a picture on the mirror holding a vodka, showing him my outfit.

Alex: Damn, woman. You are absolutely beautiful. Wish I was there.
Me: Are you flirting with me, sir?
Alex: Indeed. I'd love to grab and kiss those lips.
Me: Maybe you'll have to wait a little.

I was feeling weird missing Alex and having plans with him too, and there was a question even my friends asked and I didn't know, I haven't questioned myself, were we exclusive to eachother? For my side, I'm not into being with anyone, but Alex showed up and changed it, so I'm exclusive for myself, because I chose to a while ago. Maybe he doesn't. But it's okay.
I guess.

We finally called the Uber and got to the place, we were all looking 'gay and shit' as Mark described, so I'll stick to it. Soon as we got in, I noticed it was really hot, but nobody cared about it.

We searched for a place, and ordered some drinks, cause yes, they would drink before and during the whole thing. I already drank some vodka, so I wouldn't drink much more. Mark was on fire. Victoria was a little shy, it was weird. I grabbed her hand and made her dance in the middle of our round, Mark joined too and she let go. Mark gave her more alcohol. A little later she wouldn't stop dancing.

I watched a guy staring at Vee, so I called her, fixed her clothes and hair, and touched up her makeup.

— Look at that hottie, he's looking at you nonstop. –I talked to her ear
— He is looking at you, Isla. –she answered pissed off
— He's not. Go for him. –I demanded
— No, he will reject me, he likes you. –not going back
— Can't you just shut up for a moment?

I grabbed Vee's hand and walked near the guy, and started to dance around, cheering her up to dance too, Mark joined us, and so we catched the guy's attention again. I pushed her against the guy, and she stumbled onto him. Well played for me. They guy started a conversation with her, so I kept dancing with Mark, who made me get to a stage and dance with him, I couldn't stop laughing, I was having fun with my friends for once in a long time. After a long time dancing, I sat in our table, stealing Mark a cigarette, I was a little bored, it was almost six in the morning.

— What's a beautiful girl doing here all alone? –a girl my behind me asked
— That's your pick up line? Try again. –I laughed because it was a lame
— Don't need one, you're too beautiful to catch with a pick up line, honestly. –she dared to sit in our table, I stared at my phone
— Thanks and all, but I'm tired and actually wanna go home.

I read some messages that Alex left me, and pictures too, he was in Sheffield enjoying the noon, while I was stucked in here. I answered him, he was surprised I was still here, I was even sober at this point of the night.
And thank God my friends came for me to go out, they already asked for an Uber.

— Get you a better pick up line and maybe next time we get to have a nice conversation at least. –I greeted her goodbye.

She don't even got to answer, I was walking to the exit with my friends. They were all drunk and singing out loud.

The lift home was really fast, maybe that little alcohol in my veins worked for something. I got home finally and gave myself a hot bath, sitting in there for a little while, but I forgot my phone. I washed my face and hair, then prepared to get in bed. Finally.
I massaged my legs with some cream and jumped into the bed, my cat came too.
I left Alex hanging for a while, so I took the courage to call him. He answered my quickly.

Alex— Woman. –his warm voice
Me— Babe. –I liked to call him like that— How are you?
Alex— Happy to hear you now, how was your night?
Me— Fun, I danced a lot, but I'm tired. I'll probably sleep all day.
Alex— I feel envy, I miss my naps. I can't be a napper over here.
Me— Your true self, I'll wait for you to come nap with me.
Alex— Woman...–he sighed— I'm going crazy to see you. Two more weeks. Just two.
Me— I'm trying not to lose it. –I laughed

This time I fell asleep on the phone, and I don't know how I woke up later, hangoverless and with my phone under my pillow, extremely hot. I got up to start the day, even though it was late, I was decided to make something. I was free of any homework to do, so I made myself something to eat, played some of my music and sat on the window with my notebook.

I sipped my orange and ginger juice, and started to write.

"Someone told me that loneliness hides behind your eyes,
and that your shirt holds feelings that you breath.
You have to understand that;
I haven't left your fears where they are kept.
And that I can't break them, if when I do, you tear me up.
I don't want to dream thousands of times with the same things,
or contemplate them wisely.
I want you to treat me softly."