ATOMS OF YOU

18

I got up from bed the minute I woke up, Alex was still sleeping like a baby, he don't even realized I got out of the bed. I walked to the living and made myself some tea, there was my favorite kind of tea. I sat on the counter marble, I had Alex's shirt on with nothing under it. It was three in the afternoon, it was a beautiful day outside, just a little cold.

I enjoyed my tea, as I watched the whole mess in the entire room, there was clothes everywhere, well, my tiny clothes. My eyes got fulled of tears, but this time, they were of joy. Alex was one of a kind, and he loved me, he was falling in love with me, and so I was with him. He took the time to say all those sweet things, and I loved that complicity we had together.

My tears fell like some kind of raindrops, but I wasn't feeling sad, not at all, I even felt so good after that sex, something really bad would have to happen to change my state of mind.
Alex walked out of the bedroom wearing those joggings that fitted so good in his body. And those are his obliques, what a man. He hid that body, had it saved.

I dried my tears and smiled at him at the moment he saw me, coming to me, rounding me with his arms and sipping from my cup.

— My love, have you been crying? –he asked the moment he grabbed me by the face, I denied with my head— Don't lie to me, I think I know you enough to know you are lying. Do you feel okay?
— Better than ever, Al, these are tears of joy, I swear. –I smiled to him and kissed his cheek several times— You know, a lot of people, through the years always told me I wanted to be a lesbian because I never had a dad. But that's their story, you know? –he remained in silence, hearing me with attention— I did have a dad, I remember a lot of things, but I don't want to remind myself how shitty he was, cause then you need yourself an explanation. We all did have a bad mom or a bad dad, I never felt him as a dad, in my mind, I call him from his first name, but not everyone knows it, so 'dad' is a comfortable world. —I left the tea on the counter, and let my hands play around on his shoulders softly— He was a violent man, at first it didn't include me, it was a yelling I could hear from my room, it was something I couldn't imagine but one day I walked out and saw my mom all bruised, crying and scared, it was like some kind of violence delivery. That was the day it started. I don't want to get into detail with something you could imagine. —his sight was sad, but still a supportive one, I dedicated him a little smile, as one of my hands caressed his face— They divorced and he calmed down, he wasn't violent for a while, we were still afraid of him, it was a complicated situation. I was fourteen years old, I remember that December night, he wanted to make me a birthday party, and I refused, I was sad, I've never been a happy child, not even a little. He got so mad, yelling me in the car, insulting me, he hit me several times and I remember the car stopping and saying I wanted to die. —Alex grabbed me against his chest, and I grabbed him by the waist this time— He tried to abuse me, obligated me to touch him, and as he couldn't, he insulted me again, telling me I was useless, not even something to fuck with. He hit me again and threw me out the car while he was driving. That was the last time I saw him.

A huge silent bursted into the room, I didn't want to cry, cause this was a battle I've already won. Nobody but my mom, my therapist, and now Alex knew. I felt he was the one who needed to know, to understand a little more from me. And I never expected or planned to say it to him, I just did.

He looked at me with a little grimace on his lips, I smiled through all the sadness that my story brought. He hugged me without saying anything.

— I don't expect you to say anything, but if you ever want to talk about it, it's okay. –I said while I played with his messy hair
— I can only say that you're not only the most beautiful woman I've ever met, but the most brave one. I'm here with and for you, I support you, care for you and believe in you.

I sealed his lips with a kiss, holding him by the neck to me, he was so nice with me, I just couldn't resist.

— We should enjoy the day, go and eat something, let me show you London. –he said with a smile this time
— I'm down for it, I'm one shower away.
— Let's take care of the ecology and shower together. –he leaned on my neck, kissing it
— You said shower, stick to it. –I whispered on his ear, as he started to laugh.

He finished my tea while I got to the bathroom, let the shower on, and searched for some towels, leaving them in hand. Alex walked around the big bathroom already naked, and that was me trying not to laugh. I wasn't that used to nudity, at least yet. I grabbed my stuff, with my shampoo and everything. Alex was already under the water. I left his shirt a side and walked in too, he grabbed me by the face and kissed my lips unexpectedly, I laugh over his lips, corresponding to his soft kiss.

— Let me wash your hair. –I whispered on his lips, he laughed
— Is it really your fetish? –he asked laughing
— Take it however you want to. –I joked around, but he accepted

I grabbed my shampoo and washed his hair really gently, rubbing his scalp with soft massages, he had his eyes closed.

— Now wash it. –I turned a side and then washed mine, really quickly, as I used to, and then, rubbing him some conditioner
— I am not a Pantene model. –he joked
— The first male one, be proud, boy. –after that, he washed again, and then finished with my hair.

The moment I closed my eyes to wash my hair I felt his hands grabbed me by the waist, pulling me closer to him. I opened my eyes, clinging myself to his neck, I smiled to him, leaving a tiny kiss on his lips, we were both under the water.

— I'll go and let you finish alone, woman. –he whispered on my lips before he left
— I'll watch your ass from here. –I whispered the same way, leaving one last kiss, before he kissed my neck and left.

I washed my whole body, while he was outside the shower, rubbing myself some shower cream and finally going out of it. I rolled myself a towel over my body and saw him on the sink, shaving his beard, he didn't have any yet, but he seem like a man that takes care of his image. I walked out the bath, after I left a tiny kiss on his shoulder to put on some clothes on. It was a little cold outside, so I decided to put on some jeans, a nice sweater and my black knee boots, my legs were always cold.

He walked out the bathroom and I went back in to finally dry my hair, I really wanted to hang out with him, so I just tied it in a bun, put some make up on and I was ready, so he was. He was wearing a pair of jeans, a white turtle neck and his leather jacket on, it was his must have. He looked so good, so elegant, he was just a really handsome man.
Watching him comb his hair back was a whole spectacle, he did it with no mirror and perfectly, then kept the comb on his pocket. We were both done.
I walked out the bathroom ready, with my little bag hanging from my shoulder, walking to him, who was sitting on the bed with his phone, waiting for me; I sat on his legs and smelled his fresh perfume like some kind of drug, leaving a kiss under his ear.

— You ready? –I asked while he grabbed me by the waist
— Oh yes, should we go? –he smelled my scent, sinking his nose on my neck
— Come on, let's go. –I whispered in his lips, grabbing his hand and walking out.

We took the elevator and finally walked out the hotel, he put his shades on looking like a whole rockstar. We walked out holding hands as he would talk me about London. We enjoyed a beautiful evening walking around, some people would greet him from far, some of them approached him for a hug, he was always really friendly, people would greet me too, I even offered myself to take them a picture, it was really funny.

— Guess I gotta have to get used to date a rockstar. –I joked the moment one of the guys walked away
— And this is why I live in L.A., not that I don't like it, but I like to be alone, walk around like a whole foreign.
— I get it, it happens to my everyday, benefits of being me. –I joked while we walked on the street, and then we stopped by on the lingerie shop I've been this morning, there was my set on the show window
— Look at that, seems familiar to me. –he joked while we both stared at it
— I didn't know you were into that stuff. –I whispered on his ear, while he grabbed me by the waist from behind
— I guess I'm into it now, come on. –he grabbed my hand, and walked inside the store.

The girl who helped me this morning was there, and she greeted me, while Alex had my hand and observed the store.

— Good evening, ohhh..—she realized it was me— How's everything? How did the set fit? –the seller asked me
— Perfect. –Alex answered— Look at those, Izzy. –he pointed a thong, all laced in black, and the seller approached us
— Those come in your size, and in three colors too.
— They are really nice, Al...–he was more excited than I— Don't you want some for you? –I whispered on his ear, and he laughed
— Actually we are taking one of each color in her size. –Alex expressed and the seller arranged it
— Al, you don't have to...–I whispered again, but he don't even bothered
— And yes, it's a gift for her. –Alex took out his wallet to pay, while the woman prepared the bag with everything inside.
— You have two weeks for any return, don't lose this ticket. –she explained, while Alex handed his card and ID
— It's okay, won't need it. –he dropped laughing while I tried to hide myself.

After that scene on the lingerie shop, we kept walking around, this time I was holding his hand and the shopping bag on my other hand, and he was probably tired of hearing me saying how unnecessary was that, but he just wanted to make me (and him) a gift.

— Look at this vintage shop, Al. –I expressed while I observed the window with such surprise
— I might need me some stuff for my closet. –said while I grabbed his hand and walked inside the huge shop.

It was like some kind of warehouse, he was amazed, I lost him in a matter of seconds when we got inside. I walked around trying to find any special piece, it was really old clothing with a nice smell, not that junky one, more like lavender.

I ended up picking a dress, a high wasted buttoned jean skirt and a stripped long sleeved shirt. I would look like a 'That's 70 Show' character, it was okay.

I walked to the fitting room, Alex was still picking clothes, or at least that's what I thought. I tried on first with the skirt and the shirt, the skirt was a really tight one, specially with this hips.

I walked out to take a look at myself on the big mirror, and there was Alex with different pants, they were high waisted and very vintage.

— Hey there pal, are you from the 70's too? –I asked the moment we saw eachother, he laughed at me
— Kind of, not so 90's like you, woman. —and there he was joking with our ages
— Nice booty out there. –I grabbed him by the ass, those trousers fitted him so well— Way better than my latin one.
— I doubt that. –he smashed his hand into mine, with a loud sound, I deserved that
— You really do look good in those, babe. –I observed him, looking at himself in the mirror, then grabbed me by the hand, pushing me onto him
— You look good on me, look. –I looked infront of us, watching us together in the mirror
— Or is it that you look good on me? –I asked him, raising my sight to him
— I think it's the two of us. —he whispered on my lips, leaning to plant a kiss on them with his daily dose of cuteness

While Alex tried some other pants on, I tried the dress this time, it was a beige one with butterflies, it was beautiful, I loved it. I managed to steal Alex's blue pants and pay them first. I told him across the place that I waited for him there, he took his time changing his clothes while I payed and got the time to admire the place, then he appeared ready to leave.

— You got that dress? –he asked me while he put his jacket on and combed his hair back with his finger
— Yes, and that skirt too, and this is for you. –I handed him the bag with that beautiful blue trousers
— You didn't have to, Izzy. –he smiled to me, grabbing me by the waist as we left the shop
— Neither you, but anyways...–I smiled to him as he approached my lips for a quick kiss as we walked the street

We walked for a little more and we finally stopped on a coffee shop for anything to eat, we were basically fasting, we haven't eat anything in the day. We ordered some croissants, English muffins and he wanted me to try the Welsh cakes. I agreed.
The waitress finally brought his coffee, my hot chocolate and the big feast we ordered.

— You must try these. –he ordered and handed me the plate with his Welsh cakes.
— Those are your faves? –he nodded at me— Babe, I've tried these before. –I grabbed a piece of it, giving it a try, closing my eyes when I remembered a trip on my country— These are from Wales, am I right?
— Look at my woman knowing about my culture. –he expressed happily— Where have you tried them?
— Many years ago, I traveled to Chubut, an Argentine province, it had many welsh colonies, even the princess Diana visited it, and I had some welsh tea with Welsh cake, there we call it 'torta galesa' –I expressed to him in Spanish
— I didn't know that, point for Argentina...–he sipped his coffee while I kept talking
— Alex I don't know if it's right to date you, you know... you're British and..
— And? —he asked me
— Britain declared us war for some islands, and won, is it morally right to date you? –I got closed and asked him really low-key— I can't even walk inside your national bank because inside it there's some kind of treasure you took from us.
— Don't you think it would be worst if you date a Spanish one? I mean, they have colonized your land, get you someone who declares you war. —he sounded serious and informed
— So now you're declaring me war?
— Yes I am, ma'am, in bed.
— You better attack then. –I laughed this time, he tried to keep his posture, but laughed with me as we enjoyed out food.

Alex and I could never stop talking, we would always find any topic, discussion or stories to share, and it was really comfortable to have a conversation with someone, I always felt so good. He was such an interesting man, he knew so much about everything, he loved Breaking Bad and the Strokes, he was such a boy even though he looked all grown and mature, he had that side and shared it with me.

— When will I get to know Sheffield? Is it far from here? –I asked before a hometown story with his friend Matt
— I'd say it is a bit far, I didn't suggest it because we would lose some time traveling, we should plan a trip, you can meet my family. –he made me feel special once more
— Your mom seems to be such a sweet woman. –I supposed with his stories
— She is, she's the best, she'll like you, but with only imagining the amount of questions she'll ask and my childhood pictures, I might just go back to L.A. –he laughed
— Well, when you get to meet my nonna I'll bury myself, she's won't shut up, and my mom neither, I have a women family, so get ready.
— I bet she is adorable, seems to be a modern one.
— She sends me memes everyday, so I guess it makes her a modern one.
— Even more than me, that's a huge thing.

We both laughed as we finished our food, and a little later left the coffee shop. Alex got a little moody with people following us around and taking pictures, I tried not to care, but once we got to the hotel it was over. He was silent. We took the elevator and I stood in front of him, leaving a tiny kiss on his chin.

— Would you please change that face? –I asked him, and he gave me a little smile— I love that smile.
— I just..–I interrupted him
— Don't say anything. –I grabbed him by the neck with one of my hands, kissing his lips this time, and I felt his hand on my back, and a little smile on his lips— Way better.

The elevator stopped in his floor and we walked to its door, it was a warm place, it was really cold outside, guess it was true all about the cold and wet weather in England.

Alex threw himself on the big sofa in the middle of the room as I left our bags in the bedroom and took off my sweater and my boots. I walked back to the big living room area, he was there with his legs on the couch too, I layed myself next to him, he grabbed me by the waist, as he talked on the phone.

— I'll let you know, I'm not in that mood, you always want to party. –Alex spoke to the phone as he caressed the skin under my shirt and looked at me— Right now? I wanna lay on the couch with Isla, maybe watch a movie, too much people staring at me for today. –I left a little kiss on his cheek, he smiled at me— Okay, you know I love you although you have a party addiction, yes Miles, talk to you soon. —he hung the phone and threw it a side, and hide his face on my neck
— Cling to me, baby boy. –I whispered on his hear, covering him in my arms— On the mood for a movie together? –I asked while I played with his hair
— I do, Miles wants us to go to a party I don't know where, I want to enjoy you now that we are together, when we come back, we have things to do, you know how it is.
— I know babe, let me spoil you tonight, can I? –I asked while I played with his hair, and saw him relax
— Everything you want to for me it's okay. –he layed his face on my chest looking like an angel, staying with his closed eyes.

We remained some time on the couch, I even slept for a little, maybe half an hour, and by the moment I opened my eyes I could see how dark it was outside, it was early night by this time. I left a kiss on Alex's forehead and got up. I went for a blanket to the bedroom and covered him with it, as I searched for my phone.
I ordered some food, something like a snack, not like a whole meal. I ordered some tacos on an app that delivered food and some beers, I know Alex loves it. I arranged everything for when the food arrives, I left some napkins over the coffee table and turned the TV on, searching for a nice movie from my Netflix account.
The minute the food arrived, I left, taking the elevator to receive it. I payed the man, giving a tip too, and finally got back to our room.
I turned off all the lights, leaving only the moonlight coming through the window and the TV's light. I left everything on the table, it was all properly accommodated. I sat next to Alex, who was deeply slept, caressing his hair.

— Babe, I brought us some dinner. –I spoke softly and really low on his ear, planting some kisses on his cheek
— I really don't deserve you. –he dropped the moment he saw it all, rubbing his eyes with his fists
— I think you do. –I joked the moment he sat on the couch— Tonight you only have to decide what movie we should watch, nothing else. —I moved on the couch next to him, taking my shoes off and unbuttoning my jeans to be more comfortable
— There's this one someone recommended me, it has a really long name...–I handed him my phone, and he searched for it as I approximated the coffee table to us, opening our beer bottles and serving the food out of the packages, he played the movie finally
— What's it called? –he took the phone again to read it
— Umh..."The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society". –he laughed after pronouncing that long ass name
— That really is a name, nice pick. –I laughed too, as I prepared myself a taco, and so he did
— Don't you like avocados? –he asked me
— Not really, I love spicy things more, it's not really my thing.
— All for me, then. –he really liked it, he ate a lot of it— It's not overrated, it's delicious.
— It's okay Al, go eat it all, take mine. –I handed him mine, and he kissed me as a 'thank you'— You are obsessed, avocado boy.
— I love it, I just love it.
— I see my man, no need to explain. –I laughed the moment I saw him enjoying his taco full of avocado, it was mostly green; the movie was playing on the big screen in front of us.