raven's song {chris motionless}

nine • birds always fly away

Raven's POV; 2007

Chris came running into my bedroom. He had a smile plastered to his face. "Guess what?" He said excitedly.

"What's up?" I glanced at him with a smirk. He was super spastic today.

"Motionless has a gig tonight!"

"That's awesome, Chrissy!" I exclaimed.

I didn't join the band like Chris had wanted me too. I thought I wanted to make music, but I really don't. I don't know what I want to do, but I'm thinking about photography.

"Will you come?" He asked.

"Of course! I wouldn't miss it for the world!"

He grabbed my hand. "Let's go tell my mom."

We rushed downstairs and out to Chris's car. He'd bought an apartment, and now we live together. He's 20, now, and I'm 19. My aunt wasn't happy about me moving in with him. I cut off all communications with her, though, so it doesn't matter anymore.

We made it to mom's house quickly and Chris pulled me inside with him. "Mom, guess what?" He called.

Nick, who was 18, and Jenny, who was 16, came running downstairs. Mom walked in from the kitchen - yes, I refer to her as mom. She's my second mother.

"We got a gig!" Chris announced.

This wasn't his first gig, but he was super excited. He acted like this every time they got a show. It was adorable.

He was adorable.

Yes, you heard me right. I have feelings for Chris. I could never make a move, though. We're friends, that's all.

Mom hugged him. "Congratulations!"

I made my way over to Nick, who was sitting alone on the couch. He smiled when I approached him. "Have you made a descion yet?" He asked quietly.

I shook my head. "Not yet, Nick. It's really hard. Leaving Chris would be the hardest thing I've ever done."

"I don't know why you won't tell him. I understand, I guess, but he would, too. Hell, he'd want to go with you."

"I want him to stay here and focus on his music. I'll be okay."

Nick looked at me and gave me a tight hug. I knew what I needed to do, and so did he.

•      •      •      •      •

It was after Chris's gig, which he did wonderful at. Him and his band went out to eat. I politely refused the invitation. Instead, I went back to our apartment and packed my bags. I'm currently working on a note for Chris.

Chrissy -
I want you to know that I never meant for it to be this way. I want you to come with me, but I can't ask you to do that. Focus on your career. Make it big.

I don't really know why I'm leaving; not yet, anyways. I want a fresh start. I want you in it, but I don't see how that can happen. I need to get away from the place where my mom and dad died, the place where my childhood was ripped apart.

Promise me one thing: don't stop following your dream. You're gonna get somewhere. Motionless is gonna be huge. I'll look out for your guys' names. I know I'll see them.

I may be gone, but I'll always be here. I'm in your heart, Chris - well, I hope so. I'm sure we'll meet again soon. If fate wants us too, that is. I'll always love you, Chris. You're my best friend, my saviour. Please don't hate me for this. I'd rather have you forget me than to hate me. I love you so much.

Signed, Raven Iris Bell

I placed the note on the counter, grabbed my two suitcases, and began walking to Nick's car. Tears streamed down my face the whole way. I was leaving the love of my life.

I cried when I wrote this and when I edited it. Geez.
     - salem ♡

Edited and revised
638 words