raven's song {chris motionless}

seventeen • loud

Raven's POV

The guy's second show was today. They wouldn't let me come to the one yesterday because of my back, but they couldn't stop me from coming to this one.

"Do I look okay?" I ask Angelo, stepping into the living room.

He examined my purple jeans and MIW Creatures shirt, as well as my makeup. I still wore my eyebrows like Chris's, so those were there, as well as some purple eyeshadow and winged eyeliner. He nodded. "You look great."

"Thanks."

I snunk a glance at Chris. He hadn't talked to me since the kiss. I hadn't talked to him, more like. He tried to once, but I ignored him. He was sitting on the couch, on his phone. He completely ignored the conversation Ange and I just had. He used to always comment on my outfits, and how they made me look.

Nothing would ever be the same. I made Chris mad - too mad - and he wouldn't forgive me for this one.

•    •    •    •    •

Chris's POV

Being on stage always gave me a rush, but it didn't feel as good this time. Raven was mad at me, and I was mad at her. I didn't know if we could repair our friendship. This worried me.

I know I shouldn't have kissed her. I shouldn't have lied to her about Sabrina. I shouldn't be mad at her, but I am, because she could've at least talked to me last night if the kiss bothered her that bad.

I sang City Lights, a song I'd written for Raven after she left. Maybe she'd understand the lyrics, realize they were for her.

You are the water in my lungs

We've lost it

I glanced over at Raven, who stood side stage. Her eyes were closed tightly and her lips were pursed. I could see her body shaking as she cried. I didn't know the song would have this effect on her.

Then I saw her fall.

She began hyperventilating, from what I could see. She pulled her knees into her chest and continued to freak out.

"Raven!" I yelled, away from the microphone. I began to run for her, Angelo following. I could hear Ricky in the background announcing that Ryan, Balz, Ghost, and him were going to do a makeshift acoustic show while we figured out what was wrong with Raven.

I grabbed Raven and rushed her outside to give her some fresh air. I lightly slapped her cheeks, telling her to breathe.

"It was so ... loud," she choked out. "It was about ... me."

I shook my head. "Raven, I never meant for this to happen. Please, calm down."

Angelo whispered in my ear, "they need me back on stage. Take her to the bus, we'll be there soon."

"You sure?"

"Yes, go!"

I begin fast-walking to the bus, talking to Raven. I went over the old breathing routine with her, the one we made when we were younger and she'd have her panic attacks.

She was beginning to calm down, so I asked, "what happened?"

"I heard the lyrics ... they made me realize how much of a shitty person I am, and-"

"You're not a shitty person. I shouldn't have sang that song. I'm sorry," I say.

"It was so loud, Chris!" She wrapped her arms around me and buried her face into my neck.

I reluctantly embraced her back. "I'm sorry, birdy."

"No, I'm sorry. I should have at least talked to you after the kiss. I should've ... I should tell you how I feel. But you have Sabrina."

I blinked back tears. "Hun, Sabrina and I broke up before tour started."

"Why didn't you tell me?" She took a deep breath, trying to steady her breathing.

"I didn't know how."

"Chris, I ... I think that I'm ... in love with you," she said, although it sounded more like a question.

"I'm in love with you, too, Raven," I blurted, tears of joy now streaming down my face. "I've been in love with you since we were younger."

I was so incredibly happy. The girl I've loved for over five years loves me back. Do you know how great this feels?

"Raven, let me take you on one date, please?" I ask.

She smiles and nods. "Of course, Chrissy."

I finally was getting the girl I wanted. Finally ...

Aww yay. I need friends too so hmu if you wanna talk.
     - salem ♡

Edited and revised
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