dear choi hyunsuk~ (2019)

january 18th

‹ 💌 1.18.19›

hyunsukkie ㅜㅜ i'm so sad like i've barely slept and my worst nightmare happened, there's no subs and youtube hasn't uploaded so i can't check for subs there, what do i do :(( i'm so bummed i'm probably gonna have to wait til late in the day (after workout and stuff) to watch ;—;

but within the waiting period before my soul got crushed i saw you posted a beautiful new selca u.u

cutest face ever? yes indeed. i wanna boop ur nose so bad. you have the ultimate boopy nose,,, and your eyes i can't explain it there's something warm and comforting to be found in them, i could look at you forever and always find something new and stunning abt you :3

but it's time i go back to sleep i guess since i cant watch live ㅠㅠ i'm sorry, but i'll write you after i finish watching, okay?

—— ‹ ⌛️ 1:56pm › ——

update: i'm not THRIVING!! there's still no subtitles i'm beginning to get panicked,,, (๑o̴̶̷̥᷅﹏o̴̶̷̥᷅๑) i have a really basic understanding of korean so if i have to i'll just watch with no subs and understanding the bare minimum °(ಗдಗ。)°. the good that came out of this, i'm feeling inspired to study harder so i don't get in this predicament again (๑ ˊ͈ ᐞ ˋ͈ )ƅ̋ i guess it doesn't matter at this point if i have to wait to finish my workouts to watch since i'm still waiting for subs
(˃ ⌑ ˂ഃ ) i know i said i'd write again after i finished watching but i thought i'd update you lol, i kinda like writing you throughout the day as well? i might start doing it like this from time to time ^_^ anyway hopefully for real the next time i write you it's after i finish watching!!

—— ‹ ⌛️ 3:36pm › ——

i'm absolutely dying in anticipation rn? i've had a bad day and i just want to see you  (ᗒᗣᗕ)՞ sorry for complaining but it's just more updates til i can watch ig (＃＞＜)

—— ‹ ⌛️ 7:53pm › ——

so! i finished the episode a bit ago, i'm sorry for not writing right away but i wanted to take time to collect my thoughts. despite the time spent, i hadn't been able to come up with anything coherent to say, i feel kinda lied to by whoever posted the spoiler saying you got confirmed to debut (」ﾟヘﾟ)」 i have faith you'll still make it but it's really disheartening, besides i'd really like to know now, i'm not good with suspense. i'd been in an anxious state all week bc of this episode and now i have to wait even longer to see if you'll make it, it hurts my heart. but i know it sucks more for you, i'd imagine, so i won't complain ฅ=͟͟͞͞((꒪∆꒪;)ฅ

i'm happy for the guys that made it though! i felt the need to mention, because i know some people are being bitter with no good reason behind it. i understand being upset about their favourites potentially not making but seeing them take it out on junghwan or the others is so immature :(

the situation isn't ideal but it's not their fault, i just wanted you to know i'm a mature fan ㅠㅠ i don't think some people realize their behavior can reflect on who they stan, other people can look at them and be like "oh, (insert idol)'s fans are so immature, look at how they're acting" and it makes them disconnect from that person because they don't want to be involved with that side of the fandom, if that makes sense? i'd know because i've felt that way, it's never stopped me from liking a person because their fans act badly but i could see how it'd stop others and i'd hate to stop you from getting fans bc i'd act out of line.

i always try to keep a good image, honestly you've helped me upkeep it well so thank you~ i just always keep in mind before i say anything, "what would hyunsuk say/do?" and i overall try to be reasonable, but most importantly my favourite is to spread good energy and love for everyone, but especially you.

ygtb has been such an emotional rollercoaster for me but i'm generally thankful for it because through it, i've found you and you've been one of the best things that's happened to me, i'll be eternally grateful to you forever. no matter what happens, i'll be here to support you. i'm not going anywhere. debut or not, i'm here to stick by your side, you can't get rid of me that easily ʚ♡⃛ɞ(ू•ᴗ•ू❁)

sorry for such a long letter today, i'll stop bugging you, but just know that i love you bunches and i'll always!!! support you no matter what!!