a mixed feeling of happiness, while being sad. One such case would be the regret and the repentance we sometimes feel because of past mistakes. However, they simultaneously fill us with the light of forgiveness and make us feel hopeful for the futur...
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"pagod ka na?" javi asked, I looked at him,
"jetlag lang siguro." I answered at sinandal uli ang ulo ko sa bintana ng kotse niya.
"thank you for coming home kahit alam mo na invited sila sa kasal ko" he said, ngumiti ako kahit hindi niya ako nakikita.
"you know I'm thankful for you javs. I'll always go home for u guys." I replied, he smiled. The drive was silent until makarating kami sa condo ko dati.
"sure you're okay here?" javi asked, I let my eyes wander through the condo, I nodded.
"one month lang naman, okay na ako dito kuyavi" I teased, he laughed and kissed me on the forehead.
"I think ada and kobe will see you tomorrow?" he asked, I nodded to asure him na I know the plans.
He waved as he drove off, ako naman dumiretso sa elevator, I unpacked most of my things, and naligo na rin ako.
Pagbukas ko ng walk in closet, hindi ko napigilang mapapikit. I saw a picture of me and ricci. One year rin naman kami bago kami magbreak. Ibinaba ko ang picture frame, ibinaliktad ko rin para hindi ko na makita.
"you know I haven't slept a good night sleep for a very long time."
"and the reason is?" tanong ni javi.
"ricci and juan of course"
I heard him chuckle through the call.
"siya pa rin ba hanggang ngayon?"
"me leaving doesn't mean that my love faded."
"why didn't you talk to juan? Pero you talked to kobe? Eh alam naman niya?"
"kasi mas masakit when your bestfriend betrayed you, hindi naman ganon kalalim yung friendship namin ni kobe, acceptable yun para saakin."
"..."
"javi, is he doing fine?"
"who? ricci?"
"yeah, and the baby?"
"the jolliest baby boy you'll ever meet."
I smiled, he may have taken after his father.
"talk to juan kal."
"I don't know javs. Masakit pa eh."
"subukan mo lang, he misses you,"
"but he hurted me"
"he can heal you though"
"what if he breaks me even more?"
"I won't let that happen again kal,"
"thank you kuyavi"
"always kalon, always."
I dropped the call, and dialed juan's number.
"hi, who's this?" a familiar voice answered, it must be danielle
"can I talk to juan? This is kalon."
I heard the sheets shuffling, he seems to be walking away from danielle.
"hello? Kal?"
"hi juan."
I couldn't find any words to say,
"you called?"
"I'm back in manila."
"for good or for javi?"
"right now, for javi only."
"how are you kalon?"
"better." "how is he?"
"ricci?"
"yeah and the baby."
"they're doing good."
"ikaw kamusta?"
"namimiss kita."
"juan, I miss you too"
"I'm glad to hear that."
"juan, for my sanity, in hopes of getting a good night sleep tonight, which I haven't had one since I left. Why did he do it?"
