After You//Kyle Kuzma

S I X T E E N

*February 14th (Ten Years since Alivia's death)*

Kyle's POV

I got nervous and started to open the envelope. I pulled multiple pages of paper out of the envelope. I sighed as I started to read the papers.

Valued Kyle,

To start off, I love you, I love you, I love you, and if I haven't made it clear enough, I love you. If I could, I would tell you a million times how much I love you. I don't even know how to write this letter. I have so much to say to you and so many feelings towards you. To start, thank you. Thank you for taking a chance on me. Thank you for taking on a college girl that has trust issues. Thank you for loving me endlessly. Even when I was the wicked bitch of the West, you still loved me through it and supported me. I don't know what my life would've been like if I hadn't met you. You've changed my life for the better and I am so grateful that I could spend part of my life with you. My life has never been super easy. You've loved me through the effects of those hard times. Since you've loved me through everything, you deserve to know everything. You know I hate it when people pity me, so this is gonna be hard. I'm not gonna like this but here we go.

I've been in foster care for as long as I can remember. I actually don't know what happened to my parents, if they even wanted me, or if they're even alive. The family has always been an odd topic for me because I've never known what a normal family is. I didn't really have a family until I met Mili and Zo. I was like 18 when I saw what a normal family is like. It was the Ball family so maybe not the most normal family. Regardless, growing up I never really had a family. I grew up in the foster care system in The Bay. I lived in a small home for girls with like 15 other girls. Yes, it was hell, especially when some of us were on our periods. The guy that ran this home for girls was named David. He was far from capable to run a home for girls, but not many people care about over a dozen young girls. David is the main reason that I do not trust men at all. He is the biggest asshole I've ever met. David had strong hate towards me since I was little. I met David when I was 5 and he continued to hate me for the next 13 years. David abused me from the day I arrived at the home to the day I left. I heard one time he beat me so bad that I was knocked out for 2 days. It was my definition of hell.

My whole life, I was in and out of the system constantly. I remember a family would foster me and then they'd send me back because I wasn't what they wanted from a daughter. I would get attached and then they would leave. This is why I never tell anyone that I love them. I'm so scared that they'll leave if I get attached. I hated myself through this. The only thing that I had through this was a basketball. I remember sneaking out late at night to go play at a park near the home. I usually didn't get caught, but when I did, it was not pretty. As I grew up, I eventually met Mili and we were best friends from the start. We both had such a love for basketball and as we grew up we started noticing my abnormal height and vertical. I was 15 when I dunked for the first time. We were messing around after practice and Mili got it on video. As we played more highschool ball, people started to notice. Mili started to post videos of me playing on Vine and people took to it quickly. I remember when a recruiter from UCLA first approached me. It was after a game where I scored 35 and they wanted me to come practice with them. I would've never got permission from David to do this, so Mili and snuck out. We saved up the money for a bus ticket to LA and went. I remember just falling absolutely in love with the college and the team. At the end of our stay, they offered me a four-year full ride. I told them that I would not accept unless the offered Mili too. They did, and we returned home as Division 1 women's basketball commits.

I remember when Mili and I turned 18. We got kicked out the day I turned 18. We had already made some money so we got a small apartment in the Bay. We stayed there until we graduated. We moved to LA that summer and we fell in love with the city. We had a nice apartment on the UCLA campus. I remember my freshman year was not great. I got really bad anxiety. I was terrified of being a mistake or people thinking that UCLA made a bad decision by recruiting me. I remember I had a panic attack during my first home game. I broke down and hid in the locker room. I was crying when someone walked into the locker room. It was Zo and from that day, we were best friends. I still would return home after a bad game and get worked up so bad that I passed out. I had to go to the hospital many times because I would pass out and not wake up. Through all this, I had one of the best freshman years a bruin has ever had. A Nike deal for Mili and I followed this crazy year. Over that summer, I spent all of it focusing on my game and my mental health. I came back a whole new monster and you know the rest from there.

I never had a relationship that I was really committed to. I never really had one that shocked me. My relationship with you though knocked me on my ass. I never thought someone could have the effect on me that you do. I actually strive to make you happy. I strive to see you smile. I wanna be the reason that you say, "I found the one". I actually want to work towards our relationship. I would be lying if I said that our relationship does not scare me. If I'm being honest, our relationship scared the shit out of me. I used to always think that men are these awful creatures that do nothing but destroy good. I couldn't look at a couple without scoffing and thinking that they're relationship is fake. Now, I see the beauty in being with someone that truly loves you. It took me so long to see how much I love you and I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry for being not receptive to you expressing your feelings towards me. I hurt you so many times and I do not deserve you at all but for some reason, you still stay. Every moment I spent with you, I cherished. Whether it was walking the red carpet at the Espys or beating your ass in 2k, I loved the moments we had together. You made me see a side of myself that I never saw. I saw the Alivia that could be truly happy, and I think you saw her too. Kyle, you made me see the good in people. You made me see that humans are actually beautiful creatures that do more building than destroying. Thank you, for showing me the good in the world and the good in you. Thank you for showing the big teddy bear that is my boyfriend.

Under what circumstances you are reading this letter, I don't know. I hope you're happy. If not I hope this letter gives you peace of mind. If I leave you, I don't want you to go through life alone. You deserve happiness and I hope that I am never the reason that you don't get it. I hope you find yourself a beautiful wife and have some kids that are as cute as you. If you ever adopt a child, you made a great decision. No child deserves to go through what we did. Any boy or girl would also be so lucky to have you as a dad. I hope this letter helped you. It killed me to put all of my feelings out there, but you deserve to hear them. Some of these things, you are the only person that will know them. As life takes me where it wants, I hope you are happy or find happiness. If I end up leaving you, just know that I will be waiting for you and that you have forever changed my life. Thank you for everything. All the sweet comments, taking care of me, and teaching me so much I thank you for. I love you more than anything in this life, Kyle. No money, game, house, car, or anything can compare to the love I have for you. Thank you for everything. I love you, Kyle Alexander Kuzma.

P.S. you're great in bed, never forget that

Oh also, if you ever see sweet Lenin from Flint, tell her I love her.

And keep in mind there are 8 letters that I wrote (4 of which you have): In My Funeral, Lovely Cancer, Outstanding Fans, Valued Kyle, Effulgent Mili, Youthful Lonzo, Original LiAngelo, and Unabashed LaMelo

-Alivia♡

A chuckled escaped my lips as tears streamed down my face. I looked at Lenin and she was wiping tears from her face.

"Come here," I said as I opened my arms to her.

She smiled and I held her as we finished crying.

"That was deep," I choked before a sigh escaped my lips.

"I feel like I've known her my whole life." She squeaked out making me smile.

"Me too. See, she loved you before you became our daughter." I said as I played with her hair.

"I love her too and I love you." She said as she looked up at me.

"I love you kid," I said before I kissed her head.

"Did you say there are 8 letters?" She took a second to think before she spoke.

"Yeah, there are the names," I said as I handed her the last page from Alivia's letter.

I could see the wheels turning in her head as she looked at the name.

"Is there any way you could all of the letters together?"

A/N
One more chapter left!!!!