This is Us

♡Bang Bang ♡

Ariana's POV

" She might of let you hold her hand in school, but ima show ya how to graduate" I sang into the mic.
" No I don't need to hear you talk the talk, just show me what your mama gave yaaa" and Jessie sang with me the bang bang. Nikki's part came and she started to rap. We've been in the studio perfecting Bang Bang, recording it. Im so excited to release Bang Bang. After recording Bang Bang I got time to hang with Nikki and Jessie.
" We should take a selfie" said Jessie. I agreed and so did Nikki. She took the picture and posted it on Instagram.
I had to leave after so I could make it to the Jimmy Fallon show. Basically I have an interview. I'm glad I do, it keeps me distracted. Distracted from Him. I haven't talked to Harry in weeks. He's calls the first 5 days trying to talk to me, of course I didn't want to hear his excuses. But the day came when he stopped calling,texting or even trying to contact me. Its like he totally forgot I exists. I was just a diamond in the ruffle of his sea. I'm fine with it, but there comes some nights when I have the feeling to call him, text him, talk to him, anything but I keep it to myself. My thoughts and emotions aren't nothing but thoughts and emotions. They say I'll be fine, that I'll get over him. And it's starting to become true, but all I can think about is him. What he's doing, if he ever thinks of me. Eh what can I do, I'm as stubborn as he is. But all I can think about now is the interviews.
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" And our next guest here is one of the best vocalist, amazing singer, and is coming out with her next single, Bang Bang, here is Ariana Grande" Jimmy said saying my last name in a spanish like way. I walked out and waved at the crowd, and hugged Jimmy. I sat down and so did Jim.
" So Ariana, what have you've been up to lately" he said enthusiastically.
" Well I've been in the studio lately, um recording Bang Bang, I'm very excited for everyone to hear it, its very different you can say" I replied
"It's off your new album right, My Everything"
" Yes, well in the deluxe album and it's on Jessie's album"
Then the personal questions came.
" So on the album My Everything, the song My Everything, it's a very personal song, so what does it mean to you, how did you get inspired to write it"

" Well Jimmy I agree with you, it is personal. Very personal to me. But ah at first it was a song I wrote, to express myself not that I lived something like that, but now I can relate to that. It's a song where you can feel the feelings you don't want to feel, to cry over, to relate. All and all its one of my favorites in the album." I said with a smile.
" One question everyone wants to know, Are you dating anyone?"
" Um no, lately no but yeah I'm single"
"Ah so the rumors of a certain Styles isn't true?" he said changing the subject. I liked Jimmy, he's like a father figure to me. I've known him for years now so I see what he's doing here.
I laughed
"No that's not true it's all just rumors" I said with a smile. But in the inside it was like knives to my chest. Time flew by and the interview ended. I went back home.
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Laying on my bed, I felt alone. Frankie left 2 hours ago to go to Zack's house. He invited me to come with but I didn't want to intrude. I should have went. I felt empty,sad,lonely, worst of all depressed. My heart ached. I'm lonely. My mind wondered in if this was going to be my life for forever. How someone like me have everything in there finger tips feel like nothing. Selfish of me to think that I have nothing. My life wasn't worth living. Betrayed, I felt betrayed. I'm not one to drink my sadness away but I had the urge to so bad. Finally I took out the beer I had stashed in my fridge. Slowly I lifted the beer to my lips. I drank and drank. The unfamiliar sent and taste made drinking the beer worse. But the feeling went away. I finished it and began to drink more. Slowly I felt, tipsy?
My head was spinning in circles. Drinking didn't help at all it just made it worse. I soon thought of the memories. How happy I was and now here I am in my kitchen drinking. I carefully walked to my room. I got in and soon felt pain,sadness. Tears rolled down my cheeks. A sob escaped my lips, harsh breathing. My life was, is worthless. How could someone like him like someone like me. He wants a women not a girl. More tears shattered out of my eyes. I rocked my self back and forth to soothe myself, but that only made it terrible. I couldn't stop crying. Every emotion I had was everywhere. My walls I built came tumbling down. I can't live a life like this. I didn't want to live a life alone. I grabbed my phone and dialed the one person who made me feel like hell. Harry. The phone rang all it could and it went to voice mail. I left a message.
" Um Harry" I crocked out
"I'm just calling to say hi, you know how's it going, I uh don't know how to feel right now, I feel alone. I know you don't care but I'm just-t-t "
I couldn't speak and a sob let out of my mouth.
" Um I feel like I'm dying. I can't understand why. Why everything good comes to me and than it goes. I feel empty, and honestly I don't want to anymore. I don't know what to think Harry, I mean I drank 3 or more bottles of beer and it wasn't the best thing to do, it only made me feel worse. I'm alone in my house and I'm scared that-that..."
"I may do something to someone or.."
" To myself"
" I miss you" I whispered the last part and my brain collapsed. The last thing I saw was pitch black Darkness.
To be continued......