Midnight conversations in a bathtub // Simon Snow fanfic

4

Simon

I don't want to think about it, or question it. I'm so sick of missing him, of feeling guilty whenever he looks at me.

Just for tonight, I want to pretend that I deserve him.

Baz

He has the kind of determined glint in his eyes that he gets when he's about to go into battle. Then he leans forward and kisses me before I can say anything else.

Like everything about Simon Snow, it's intense - the force pushes me backwards against the porcelain. He lets go of my hands and then suddenly his fingers are in my hair. His knee is between my legs and his wings are making the shower-curtains rattle.

Snow's mouth is so hot. I've missed him so much.

Simon

I'd forgotten what it felt like. We haven't done anything like this in so long - I'd been a mess, and Baz... well, I hadn't exactly given him any encouragement.

He has one hand on my shoulder, the other on my waist, supporting me. I want to fall into him and press my face into his neck and kiss a line across his collarbone. I'm just scared I'll hurt him. (His chest is a criss-crossed mess of scars from today, surely my weight would be painful.)

But then he shifts under me, moving to the side and pulling me in, and I'm trying to be careful but it's so hard and he's so close.

Baz

"Snow," I murmur, "I'm not going to break."

He's tense, I can feel it, trying not to touch my still-healing bullet wounds. But I could be bleeding out and still want him next to me. I wouldn't care.

"I don't want to hurt you," he whispers, and his eyes are sad, his breath against my cheek.

"I'm not that fragile," I say, and tug gently on his arm so that his head falls forward a bit, hair tickling my neck. I just want him closer.

Simon

I put my fingers gentle on his neck where I imagine his pulse would be, and he turns his head, letting me kiss up his jaw. I haven't done this in so long - I'm clumsy and out of practice, but Baz doesn't seem to care. His eyes are half-shut, hands fisted in the back of my shirt.

I kiss his cheekbones, his eyebrows, along his hairline - anywhere I can reach. And as long as I'm doing the kissing, it's ok. We're ok.