"I don't have a date to homecoming, so I'm going to invite my best friend. Don't worry about it, she loves me." I told myself in the mirror for the 15th time. "It's fine, she's the best. All I have to do is walk in there and say, 'Hey Casey, wanna go to homecoming?' And she'll say... 'No fatty, leave...' She would never say that... Man, what am I doing? I'm overthinking this. It's easy, I walk in there and just ask. That's all there is to do. That's how easy it is." So, I stood up straight, adjusted my t-shirt, wiped the sweat off my forehead and walked into Casey's family room.
The pictures were all nicely placed, each one filled with smiling faces looking out at me. Mocking me. Then there was the eggwhite walls that were slowing closing in around me. The panic creeping up my throat that I swallowed down like a glass of nails. Stop thinking stop thinking stop thinking. I thought, Ironically. Then, there was the big, leather black couch that I had slept on for hundreds of nights, lovingly looking down the hall at her bedroom door, protecting her from the imaginary demons I would fight off with my steal armor and sharpened sword. Demon's were never as big of a problem as I thought they would be when I was a kid. Focus Shawn. Focus on the task at hand. Then, on the couch, there she was. Watching something on TV with a cute little smile on her face. She wore a grey beanie on top of green (once blue) and black hair. Her knees were up to her chest as she was perfectly curled up, and unknowingly adorable. One hand gently placed on her knee and the other holding a soda can which a small white straw protruded from and made its way all the way up to her soft lips. She was wrapped up in a simple green, soft blanket that draped down the couch and onto the floor. Just enough for another person. Shut up shut up shut up.
She looked up at me, and her smile widened. "Hey Shawny, you ok? You were in the bathroom for a really long time."
She knew. RUN! "Yeah, no. I'm fine. Just had to make a call is all. Um..." After three years of being her best friend, you'd think I'd gotten better at not being absolutely awkward, but you'd be absolutely wrong. I was just as awkward as ever before.
"Is everything ok?" She sat up slightly, ruining her perfectly comfortable position.
Damn it. "No no no. Everything is absolutely fine. Just... uh... mom. Would you go to Homecoming with me, Casey?"
She raised an eyebrow. "Couldn't find a pretty girl or guy to go with?"
Yes. "No."
"Well, it's still a few weeks away. If you can't find a date, I'd be happy to go with you. But do make sure you at least try to find a date. Homecoming should at least be a little romantic." She laughed that little laugh she always did.
"Ok, I'll try, I promise."
I didn't. In fact, I didn't talk to anyone at all. I didn't even want the possibility of having a date. There was only one person in the whole universe that I wanted to go with and that was Casey. You see, as creepy as that all sounded, those feelings and visualizations weren't unfounded. I had been silently in love with Casey for three years. I had now watched her go through three separate boyfriends and had consoled her the entire time. Zachery, the manipulative narcissist, Joshua, the silent womanizer who had cheated on her the entire relationship and now, Corbin who I was convinced was a sociopath. This most recent Prick had slowly convinced Casey that she didn't need any of her friends, just him. I was actually the last real friend she had, until eventually I was out of the picture too, but I'll get to that momentarily. Anyway, I had sat and watched these guys go by. One after the other. I never told her the things I observed until I was sure that I had gotten enough evidence, then I would let her know if I thought they were bad for her. I had gotten rid of Zach that way, but Josh never seemed bad until after they had broken up and Casey found out the truth on her own. I watched her heartbreak over and over again. And I held her through every one. And hurt me so bad to see her cry and hurt, but I did it anyway. I loved her with every ounce of my being, and I just wanted her happy. It was when I got greedy that it all fell apart.
