The perks of a temporary life

neon lights

the green neon lights reduced my eyesight
but I could see clearly that I'm losing touch of reality.

we were driving late at night and all the roads felt endlessly long and my heart felt heavy, like it was covered in water of a big lake without a ground to reach. my head floating in the atmosphere, until somebody makes me realize, that I'm not where I'm supposed to be. But I agree to disagree most of the time, leading myself to the darkest places of them all, even blacker than black coffee. But all I want, is a decent tea, actually.

my thoughts were driving around in my head,
as if they tried to reach the speed limit on a highway, fighting with the positive ones,
leaving a mess in my head,
trying to convince me,
the green neon lights are not what I signed up for when my eyes first saw the world and the world was not, what I signed up for, when my small feet met the ground for the first time.

sometimes,
you feel like you can't breathe when you're outside,
sometimes,
you feel like you're alone when you're surrounded by a crowd of people,
sometimes,
the thoughts in your head won't shut up,
when everything else is quiet,
sometimes,
the world seems to go on,
and you're just standing in the middle of it all,
watching;
sometimes,
things take more time than you thought they would take,
sometimes,
the strongest people let their masks fall,
sometimes,
the weakest people prove their strength
and sometimes,
you have to give it all a try,
or two,
or three,
or ten.
and then;
you will succeed,
you will reach the finish line,
reach the ground again.

and you will start falling again,
maybe in the best of your times,
but then you will reach out to the stars
and make yourself feel like they're not
that far away,
that some steps forward,
will make the pain go away and replace it
with all the good things in the world
because they still exist.
rarely and barely,
to daily and today,
is the day,
you're gonna be okay.