IM GETTING MY IPHONE TODAY, I CANNOT BREATHE. FINALLY.
( I have had the same shit slide-keyboard phone for the past 3 years and a flip phone before that. )
So I can update more frequently I hope :)
Ugh 2k votes, honestly it's fucking insane!
I love you guys.
If you wanna know what song I listened to for this chapter, Terrible Things by Mayday Parade.
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October 4th
Two months.
The doctors say Ashton has two months to live.
It turns out that it was more severe than they thought, and his lungs are failing. When he was young, he had a type of cancer and has been clean for 6 years. However, because of the accident it has affected his lungs again.
I now sit on the floor in Ashton's hospital room bathroom crying. Why is it me? Of course, I understand people have it so much worse.
But god, I thought I would finally have a break.
I wipe under my eyes, walking out putting on a fake smile for Ashton's sake. I had to be strong for him, after all he is the one that's dying.
"You aren't gonna give me some bullshit speech about the lord and miracles are you?" He asked me smirking.
"No I'm going to give you a speech about how I'm gonna stay with you and you can't tell me otherwise," I smirk back at him. "You are an amazing person and don't deserve any of this."
He huffs angrily, "If I was so important people would be here. No one cares Andy, I'm worthless."
I wince at his tone, frowning. "I'm sure they care, I didn't know you felt that way."
"Everyone is sad Andrea, it just takes time for them to break."
"Don't quote me," I sigh, wiping under his eyes where I saw tears began to build up. "I'm going to go get something for you to eat."
I stand, seeing him nod. I walk into the hallway, seeing signs pointing to the cafe. As I'm walking down the hall, I notice a small hall.
Eating Disorder Ward.
My curiosity getting the best of me, I quietly walk down the hall seeing it was still quite early. I pass a few empty rooms until I stop. I look inside seeing a girl hugging her knees on the windowsill.
"Um, hello?" I say awkwardly.
She turns her eyes widening, "Who are you?" she asks me raising her eyebrow. She looked about 11. I walk into the room, gesturing to the window ledge, "May I?" She nods.
"Well, I am just a visitor, and I saw this part of the hospital and..." I scratch the back of my neck sighing, "I used to be like you."
She nods slowly, "It isn't my fault,"
I smile wide, "Of course it isn't, no one chooses this. It is something the world inflicts upon us, it expects us to be perfect and eventually we start to listen and try to change ourselves." I stand up taking off my sweater, standing in my tank top and shorts.
"Look at me, I'm not skinny, I'm quite big. My thighs touch, and sometimes I can't wear certain things because they don't look good on me, and I still hate going out in a bikini..."
She looks at me, like she is taking in my every word.
"I'm not gonna bullshit you, the world fucking sucks alright? It's gonna rip you apart because that is life. Life is one fucked up test whether you break or shine, but if you realize that not everything is bad you might just be okay. God I hate my body, but I know that starving myself, and hurting myself is not gonna help me. It's letting my demons win, and I am not letting that happen again."
I walk over to her tray, grabbing a piece of bread. I come back handing it to her.
"No, you may never be a perfect Barbie doll, but to others you're the most beautiful sight, you are alive now. Do something with it."
I pull my sweater back on going to leave before looking back seeing the girl smile, and take a bite out of the bread.
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I tried making this as emotional as possible, because this is a serious topic.
I understand that Anorexia and Bulimia and all those eating disorders are not that easy to cure, you can't just tell them to eat and they will eat.
But remember this is fiction, and I liked how it showed Andrea is getting stronger mentally and is able to impact other people as well.
Hoped you enjoyed :)
p.s. How do you feel about ashtons condition?
Let me know in the comments, don't hate me please.
-loser Sam
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