6:07 A.M.
Familiar, this room is so familiar. I smile, seeing it was my old room. Hearing his voice, I missed being awoken by the most beautiful sound, the one I thought I would never hear again. Even with my massive headache I don't think anything could possibly destroy the angelic voice that belonged to the boy I love more than everything. I check my phone, seeing how early it was.I stand, smiling, enjoying it while I can because soon my little fantasy will have to end.
After all, life isn't a fairytale, and I will not be getting my happily ever after.
I walk down the hallway cracking open the last door on the left, spotting the purple-haired boy strumming his guitar, his voice blending in so perfectly with it.
"I miss that," I mumble, regretting it afterwards.
He turns, setting the guitar on his bed, looking at me.
"You're awake," he says standing walking over to me. He stands in front of me, observing me, myself becoming self conscience under his gaze.
"I am, thank you...for last night," I smile slightly. "You didn't have to do that, I'm sorry I don't even know why I came here."
He nervously rests his hand on my cheek and I close my eyes slowly, "Circles, we are going in circles," I sigh, putting my hand on top of his.
"It's alright, it's worth it for you," he smiles and it makes me feel normal for once, a feeling I haven't felt in so long.
"You said you missed me singing?" He asks raising his eyebrows.
I blush slightly, "Yeah...I miss that but I mostly miss you in general, I shouldn't but I do and I hate myself for it but I just cannot get you out of my head. I miss what we had, I don't know what happened."
"I'm sorry, I'm so fucking sorry." He says seriously, probably searching my eyes for any kind of emotion other than this numbness.
"I know you are, so am I. We didn't work, I wish we did."
He shakes his head backing up pacing, "Yes we do, we work perfectly! That isn't good enough, we don't work? You are the best thing that's ever happened to me Andrea."
"You don't get it, I gave you everything I fucking had and you destroyed it all. How dare you say we worked perfectly? While you sat there thinking we were 'perfect,' I was fucking sitting alone not able to catch my breath from crying so much over you! We tried, it didn't work! I am so fucking done with this numb feeling of you, I can't keep doing this I can't keep hurting like this..." I put my hands on my forehead, looking up seeing tears brim Michael's eyes.
"I do get it. I get it so much. You think you only suffered? I tried forgetting you, I did. I knew I wasn't good for you, but I loved you and you loved me. I was selfish, and had no plans of letting you leave me. I left, because I was scared. You made me feel like I was your world when I treated you like shit and I don't know why and every fucking day my self-hatred increases from what I did to you. I shouldn't have ever left you."
"I'm trying to find something good in this, but there is nothing beautiful about hating yourself so much you forget it's possible to be loved at all. We are both so fucked up, and together we just don't fit. I'm sorry Michael, I can't do this anymore." Walking over to him, I press a kiss to his cheek, mumbling "Never stop smiling you amazing boy, I'm sorry for ever doing this to you."
Pulling on my coat, I run out into the cold air running down the street. Not knowing where I'm going, I end up cutting through the woods.
Memories flash of Michael and I, way back in our senior year...he had been chasing me and tackled me pulling
me on top of him landing in a pile of leaves. I remember the feeling in my chest of happiness and my heartaches knowing I will never have that again.
Running, I duck under a few branches finally ending up on my street. Going up to my apartment door, I unlock it quickly my breath making puffs of smoke in the air. I go inside, dropping my coat and keys on the couch not caring about their placements. Walking upstairs, tears still stream down my face as I grab a piece of paper and I pull on that white fucking sweater.
Inhaling the familiar smell I loved so much, I pick up a pen writing one more letter.
The last letter.
For after I sign my name, I will finally be Gone.
~~~~~~~~~~
So I mean.
I'm crying.
Because I know what happens.
And.
*deep breaths*
Comment, vote, let me know what you think is gonna happen.
Only about 3-6 chapters left :((((
-Loser sam
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Gone | m.c. |
Fanfiction"Why fix me right? No one ever cares enough to realize the happiest people are dying on the inside. They think we are these perfect dolls, but even then you don't look behind the walls and see they aren't. They are broken. But no, you don't care. Yo...
