~Chapter One~

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Dear Diary: It's been nearly four months since my parent's car went off the bridge and Elena was attacked in the woods. Most people would say that was a long time, and enough to have moved on, but I'm struggling. Every time I close my eyes I see Elena's body covered in blood. Every time I sit in the driver's seat of a car I hear my mother's screams. Every time I go swimming or have a bath, I feel the world just fade away, just like it did when the freezing water beneath Old Wickery Bridge swallowed me whole. I say this every day, but I wish Elena was here. I wish they all were here. Elena was always so strong and determined. She knew what she wanted and she wasn't afraid to go for it. She always had a plan. I'd appreciate one of those plans right about now because I have no idea what to do about school. Everyone there knows what happened and no one there has seen me since it happened, well, no one except Bonnie, but she's not the one I'm worried about. I don't know if I can bear the stolen glances and exchanged whispers as I walk through the halls. I don't know if I can bear the awkward babbling of teachers when they accidentally mistake me for my sister. I don't know if I can bear the sympathetic expressions of my friends, or the constant "I'm sorry about your family". I might've been able to if Elena was here, but she's not and I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm afraid to leave my room. Every morning before school Mom would kiss us goodbye and wish us a great day. Every morning before school Dad would slip us an extra few dollars for lunch then remind us to stay out of mischief. Every morning before school Elena and I would fight for the bathroom leaving our little brother Jeremy to give up and use the kitchen sink for brushing his teeth. And every morning on the way to school Elena and I would crank up the car radio and sing as loud as we could to whatever was playing. Every morning, except this one.

The vibration of tech against wood disrupted my journaling as my phone shifted across the top of my bedside table, one ring at a time. I placed my pencil in the spine of my diary and reached across, catching it before it fell. My russet brown eyes stared at the tiny screen as a little green telephone jiggled at the corner of Matt Donovan's picture. Sighing, I accepted the call and held the phone to my ear.

"Hey," I managed a smile, stretching my arms above my head as I awaited his greeting. Before Matt started dating Elena, the three of us were inseparably close. Both our parents were such good friends when we were born, we practically shared a crib.

"Hi, Eva. How are you?" He asked, his tone a mixture of concern and pity. I could just about see the deep furrow in his brow as he called to check up on me. "Are you coming to school today?"

"Fine and yes, it is a school day after all," I added, trying to sound casual and confident. "Why? Are you going to school today?"

"Yeah, um... I just, I just wanted to make sure you were OK. I know things have been especially hard since Elena died and-"

"Hey, Matt?" I interrupted, unwelcome tears pricking my eyes. "I have to go or I'm going to be late," I lied. "I'll see you at school, OK? Bye." I ended the call before he could respond and leaned back into my pillows, exhaling shakily as those two little words repeated in my head, over and over. 'Elena died, Elena died, Elena died.' I grabbed my diary and began scribbling furiously.

Today will be different. It has to be, I can't handle the constant pity of everyone around me. I will smile, and it will be believable. My smile will say, "I'm fine, thank you. Yes, I feel much better." I will no longer be the sad little girl that lost her parents and her sister. I will start fresh, be someone new. It's the only way I'll make it through.

Sliding my diary under my pillow, I rolled over and stared at the collection of variously sized and colored photo frames sitting atop my bedside table. The picture closest to my bed was a selfie Elena and I had taken on our last night together, the bonfire serving as a fantastic background. I remembered Elena saying how it made her skin glow; she was so delusional. The one behind it was of me and my parents, a copy of the one we gave to our grandparents for Christmas last year. The third photo was a silly one of Jeremy, Elena and I. Me and Elena were standing on either side of our little brother, kissing a cheek each while he pulled a face. Jeremy wasn't too happy about the photo in the first place, but he hated it even more when we pulled back to reveal two lip-shaped lipstick marks. The final frame held a photo of our entire family at Dad's lake house which, unfortunately, now belonged to our sleazy Uncle John. We spent the week after Christmas at the lake house and Dad thought jumping in the unfrozen part of the lake would be a good idea. It was freezing, and there was a lot of protest - especially from my mom - but we all did it and we all came out laughing. I frowned. I couldn't remember the last time Jeremy laughed.

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