Vampire Diaries Blood Brothers

~Chapter Eighteen~

Dear Diary,
   It's been three days since I last saw Stefan and yet I can't stop thinking about him. A few days ago I had my world flipped upside down for the second time in the past few months. When Stefan told me he was a vampire, I was scared, but then I was happy.
   Ever since the accident and losing my sister, I had been afraid to open my heart for the fear of losing whomever I opened it to. With Stefan, I didn't have that. I could open myself to him without that fear because he was immortal. He made me feel safe, like I could look away knowing he wasn't just going to disappear.
   I can't believe how stupid I was! I thought I could have him forever, but it turned out I only had five, six, maybe seven years! He didn't really care about. I mean, how cruel is it to get into a relationship if you're not planning on sticking around? He was only using me and I hated it. But what I hated more, was that I was stupid enough to fall for it. To fall for him.
   All weekend Jenna's been trying to distract me. We had family night yesterday, and Logan came. He and Aunt J are getting pretty serious, although something weird happened. After a round of charades, we all had a short break. Jeremy went upstairs to call Vicki (again), Jenna made some microwave popcorn, and I came to my room to grab a sweater. When I came out again, I saw Logan exit dad's old study, a room no one had been in since the accident. He looked flustered and when I asked him about it, he said he was looking for the bathroom. 
   It was really weird. Logan had stayed over plenty of times - there was no way he didn't know where the bathroom was. I told Jenna about it but she brushed it off, clearly wanting to think the best of her boyfriend, but I'm not so sure.
   Logan already chased Jenna out of town once, and he seemed like a nice guy, but something about him bugged me. I can't put my finger on it, but there's definitely something going on with him. I just hope he's the man he claims to be, for Jenna's sake.

~~~

Curled in a ball on the couch, I stared at the ends of the vermilion blanket draped over my body. It had been three days since I broke up with Stefan, three days since I'd kissed him, three days since I gazed into his beautiful, nut brown eyes and felt his arms wrapped around me. As much as I wanted to move on, I couldn't get him out of my head. 
   Jenna collapsed onto the couch next to me, exhausted from a morning at work. I sat up to make room, my eyes trained on the cotton stranded ends of the blanket. I could feel Jenna watching me, scrutinising my expression as I tried to focus on anything other than Stefan.
   "Wow," she breathed, raising her eyebrows. "Been a long time since I saw you this cut over a break up."
   "I'm not the person I used to be," I grumbled. "I'm not into partying and one night stands. I want a relationship, a real relationship. One that lasts."
   "I have to ask," Jenna exhaled loudly. "Which one of you did the dumping?"
   "Me," I murmured. "Now I know what you're going to say."
   "You do, do you?" She raised her eyebrows, smirking.
   "You're going to say that I should never have dumped him because I still like him and that I should go back to him and tell him to forget what I said."
   "Actually, that's not what I was going to say, but why don't you? Doesn't sound like a bad idea to me?"
   "That's because none of your relationships ever lasted," I muttered under of my breath.
   "Hey, that's not fair. I love you Eva, but I'm not like you. Or at least I wasn't. For me it was more about having fun then actually finding a soulmate, or whatever," she rolled her eyes. "So, why did you dump him?"
   "He's not planning on sticking around," I gritted my teeth, pulling at the ends of the blanket. "He never was. He's just passing through."
   "And he knew this before you guys started dating?"
   "Yup," I nodded, anger building inside me. 
   "When's he leaving?"
   "He said he was only planning on being in Mystic Falls for five, six, maybe seven years."
   Jenna snorted. "Oh come on, Eva," she elbowed me. "Seven years? That's heaps of time. I thought you were gonna say weeks or even months, but years?"
   "It's not funny," I snapped defensively.
   "Eva, in seven years you'll be, what? Twenty four? What makes you think you'll still be in Mystic Falls? I mean, it's not like you're five. You're in your second to last year of high school. You could be in university, or living on a beach somewhere sipping pina coladas, or living in a big city somewhere far away from here." She shrugged. "Maybe he has a future career in mind and knows it will, at some point, take him out of Mystic Falls."
   "You don't understand Jenna," I sighed. "It's not like that. He's not going to university and he's not training to be or do anything! He's not planning on sticking around and I don't want to be with a guy who thinks this relationship will be over well before then."
   "Eva." Jenna placed her hand on my shoulder, her voice soft. "I love you, and it's because I love you that I am going to give you tell you this. When Sheriff Forbes first told me that your parents had named me you and Jeremy's legal guardian in the will, at first, I said no."
   "Yeah but, that was only because you thought you weren't the best fit for us."
   "Actually, no," she admitted. "Sure, the thought that you guys would be better off staying with somebody else did cross my mind, but that's not why I said no. If I honestly thought that looking after you guys wasn't good for you two, I never would have agreed."
   "Then why'd you say no?"
   "Because I was scared," she shrugged. "I was scared that I couldn't do it, I was scared that this would ruin my own personal life, that being a parent would mean I couldn't do the things that I wanted to do with my life. I was scared that I would screw it up or not be responsible enough," she snorted. 
   "What made you change your mind?" I asked, leaning my chin on my hand, sitting up so I could really engage with Jenna.
   "You and Jeremy lost your mom, your dad and your sister. You had just lost so much family and what you I realised that what you needed, wasn't another family to try and comfort you or tell you 'I understand' or 'I'm so sorry' and crap like that," she rolled her eyes. "I put myself in your shoes and I knew that what you guys needed more than anything, was family. You had already lost so much family, losing more would not have been the best thing for you guys. Not only that, but unlike some other family, I knew was it was like because I lost them too. I could relate and I could treat you guys accordingly. I changed my mind because I love you, and I was not going to let fear stop me from doing what was best for you."
   Tears pricked my eyes as I tucked a loose strand of hair back behind my ear. "Jenna," I placed my hand on her shoulder. "Why are you telling me this?"
   "Because I think you're making the same mistake I almost did."
   "Jen-"
   "Eva," she interrupted. "If you honestly think that you and Stefan are not going to last, or that the relationship isn't good for whatever reason, then by all means, stay broken up. But if you broke up with him out of fear, go back to him and make things right."
   "Jenna, it's not that simple. He's not staying. He's leaving, and he lied to me about it."
   "OK, we don' like liars, but I have seen you with him, Eva. These past few weeks, you have been the happiest you have been in a long time. You guys are good together, and he's easy on the eyes which is always a plus," she nudged me jokingly. "But seriously, don't let fear stop you. Every relationship has its faults, and if you seriously think that you're better off broken up, then like I said, leave it. But please, don't give up on him out of fear because you will regret it."
   "You really think so?" 
   "I know so. Now, you don't have to do anything right now, and it's your decision. But think about it."