~Chapter Forty Nine~

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"Dear Bonnie, firstly I just want to say how lucky I am to have you in my life. When I woke up in the hospital after my parents drowned beneath Old Wickery Bridge, and after losing Elena to the vicious animal attack, you were the first face I saw. When you heard what had happened, you came straight to the hospital and didn't leave until I woke up, not even for a coffee which really is proof of true friendship. You also canceled your plans and dropped everything, just to stay with me so I wouldn't be alone. I don't know how I got so lucky, but I wouldn't trade anything that happened to me for a friend like you, so thank you.
   "Second; I am so, so sorry. When Stefan first came to Mystic Falls I forgot all about the sacrifices you made for me and left you behind to spend time with him. It was dumb and selfish and for that I am sorry. I'm also sorry for not believing you or being there for you when she realized your witch lineage was real, and then for getting you mixed up with vampires. I've endangered your life so many times and it kills me every time I think about it. I'm sorry for what happened to Grams and finally, I'm sorry for asking you to keep secrets from Caroline. It was wrong and I hate myself for it and I hope that you can forgive me. 
   "Bonnie, you are my best friend and that is why I have to be honest with you. What I said about hating myself for asking you to lie is true, but I have to ask you to do it again. I love you, just like I love Caroline, but I also love Stefan and I know that if Stefan was killed as a result of telling Caroline the truth, I would hate myself even more than I do right now, and I don't know if I have any more room to cope with that.
   "You are right. Best friends don't lie to each other and they don't keep secrets from each other. But best friends also have an obligation, a responsibility to keep their best friends secrets. I can't be a best friend to Caroline because I can't tell her the truth, but that's only because I don't believe she could be a best friend to me, even if she wanted to. As much as I want to tell Caroline deep down I do not believe she could keep this secret. If this secret was about a silly little high school crush or some other humiliating story I would only share with my best friends, of course, I would tell her. I love her so much, but I also love Stefan and this secret, he could die if she told someone and that is not a risk I am willing to take.
   "I love you, Bonnie. You're my best friend and I don't know what I would do if I lost you. I don't think I can cope with losing yet another person that I love, but that is exactly why I cannot do as you ask and tell Caroline. I know I hurt you and I know asking you to lie to Caroline is horrible, but I don't have any other choice. You say a best friend will never lie or keep secrets, but I also know that best friends don't give ultimatums. They respect each other and their decisions and support them no matter what. I love you so much, Bonnie Bennett. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me and that you won't give up on this friendship.
   "All my love, Eva Gilbert."

I clicked the red button on my phone and listened to the playback of my verbal letter to Bonnie. With her dodging my calls and not leaving the house to receive a letter, this was the only thing I could come up with to ensure Bonnie received my message. Sending the recording through to her phone using a number she wouldn't recognize was my last hope at getting Bonnie to listen to what I had to say. At first, I tried calling, but she wouldn't pick up. Then I tried sticking a letter to the front door of Grams's house, but she never left so she never saw it. This was the only other thing I could think of and all I could do was cross my fingers and hope for the best.
   "Ps. When you get this... If you get this and want to reach out please don't call this number. It's, uh, Alaric Saltzman's. You've been dodging my calls so this was all I could think of. Sorry. I love you. Bye."
   I tiptoed down the stairs, holding my breath in order to make me as light as possible so the wooden boards wouldn't creak. Pausing, I peered around the living room wall, scanning the hall for Alaric and Jenna. I spotted them (more like heard them) kissing by the door. It was gross, but I didn't have time to dwell on my History teacher's lips on my Aunt's. He had to leave soon to get ready for the fundraiser and I needed to get his phone back with his keys in the kitchen where he left them before he noticed it was missing.
   Taking a deep breath, I hurried past the exposed arch and didn't stop until I was safely hidden behind the island. With the back against the shelf, I sat in silence, listening for footsteps. When I didn't hear any, I slid Alaric's phone from my pocket and placed it beside his keys before running back upstairs. As soon as I was safe in my bedroom, I breathed a sigh of relief and collapsed on my bed, allowing my eyelids to flutter for just a second.
   The hard part was over; I'd done everything I could to get my message to Bonnie. Now all I could do was wait.

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