CRIMSON DESTRUCTION [KYLO REN X READER] BOOK III

7

"She went peacefully, just a week or so ago," Finn said. He was sitting next to you, telling you softly as Rey started up the ship. Your head dropped and your eyes closed. "I am so sorry." 

Poe, annoyed by this - not annoyed, but hurt - pushed up off the wall that he was leaning on and walked away, muttering to himself. You glanced up at him, hearing him say, "She didn't even know her."

You sighed. "He really hates me." 

"A lot of Rebels do," he said. "Just... just to warn you." 

"I expect no less. But he is right. I know I did not know her. But I truly thought that of all people, Leia could help me. She would know how to save Ben." You shrugged.

"You call him Ben?" he asked. 

"I call him whatever name I want to," you said, "it's never mattered to him. With me, he doesn't have to be Ben Solo, he doesn't have to be Kylo Ren. He can choose who to be, and most times, he is not either with me. He's just himself. We made our own family out of the two of us and it was the most wonderful time of my life." You swallowed hard. "I will do anything in my power to get that back."

"We'll give you the resources and help that you need to get there." Finn nodded. "That's a promise." 

"You're a good man, Finn," you said. "Thank you." 

Rey shouted from somewhere else in the ship, "We're here."

/ / /

The Resistance was much bigger than the last time you'd seen it. You were stiff with surprise as you got off of the Falcon and glanced around. Men and women and creatures of different species were working hard. Planning over holographic documents, cleaning and repairing x-wing ships, patting one another on the back. 

The air smelled of gasoline and the breeze was light, blowing your hair back slightly.

Finn grabbed your elbow gently, getting your attention back. "This way," he said, jerking his chin to the right. 

As you moved alongside him, people looked at you. They would stare at you for half a second, then blink twice. When they would recognize you, they would gasp or whisper. 

"Just keep your eyes straight," Finn said. "If you don't react, they'll think you're someone else."

How could they not recognize the wife of a murderer?

You felt Rey step up to your left side. Poe was behind you, and as you walked underneath an awning, you saw someone rushing up to the trio you were in the middle of. 

"So glad you guys are back!" the girl said, throwing her arms around Finn and giving him a quick hug. She did the same for Poe and Rey. Behind her approached four more people - or three droids and a Wookie. 

"Chewie," Rey said fondly, wrapping her arms around the creature. He let out a soft noise and she smiled. "I missed you, too. Trust me, I'll never pilot on my own again." She looked around and nodded. "Threepio, how are you?" 

"Much better now that you three are safe and sound and - oh. Who's this?" 

Rose looked at you for the first time, and her smile slowly vanished. She recognized you right away. "Finn," she said, voice low and soft, "what is this?" 

"We rescued her," Rey explained. 

"Rescue?" she asked. 

"Rose, she hasn't been a part of the Order in a year," Finn explained, "and she needed our help." 

Rose stiffened, fists at her side. "My sister needed help when the Order destroyed her ship and watched her die!" Tears popped out of the corners of her eyes.

You swallowed and said softly, "I am no longer a part of the Order. Neither is my husband."

"Husband," she hissed, shaking her head. "Don't do you dare humanize him as if I could care."

"I know you don't care," you said, "and there's nothing I can do about it. I am sorry for the wrong done against you, I am. But I am not a part of it." 

She reached up on her tiptoes. "Do me a favor and stay away from me, First Order scum." She glared at Finn as she walked around him. 

You stared forward, face void of any reaction whatsoever.

"___, it'll just-"

"If there's a room for me, I'd like to go ahead and be shown it, please," you interrupted.

Rey glanced at Finn and nodded. "You two go ahead. I'll make an announcement to the others, just to let them know."

You didn't want to see people's reactions to you, but their faces were everywhere. You tried to remain strong, to remain proud, but you were a woman with no husband, no home, no one to help her. 

Finn took you to your room. It was a single room with a set of drawers, a small bed, and a toilet and shower. You went inside and looked around. 

"If you, uh, need anything, just come find me. My room is just down a few doors." He nodded. "I promise nothing is gonna happen to you. Rey and I promised that you'd be safe here. We'll help you do what you need to get Kylo - Ben - back."

You turned around and looked at him. He must have seen the way your eyes filled with tears, because he cast his eyes to the ground. "You... you take it easy and rest. I'll come tell you when dinner is being served and then I'll give you a quick tour if you want." He nodded and left, shutting the door behind him. 

You sank down at the foot of your bed and made fists around the thin bedsheets. You dropped your head and started to cry. 

Your heart was completely shattered. At the very thought of Ben, at the thought of what had happened, you fell apart completely, until your soft cries turned into bursts of screams that you smothered with the thin pillow you were provided.