MALANG

Prologue

December 31
Sam Desert Nights, Jaisalmer

Stepping out of the cab I met a horribly chilled atmosphere that seemed to be waiting for me to turn into a human popsicle. I was dressed in a black jeans and a red cardigan only that added to the effects. I shivered and brought my hands close to the chest. With every breath I took, I could see vapours emanating in the air near my mouth. I applied this phenomenon to warm myself- pumped air in my fists and rubbed their pads on my cheeks. It gave me a temporary relief but it was definitely good enough to repeat myself for few more times until Vani came from behind and commented-

"You don't need your hot breathes, babe. You need vodka.. come, lets go inside."

She was pointing to the night club outside which we were standing hesistantly. It was the first time in life we had come to a place like this. Till date, we only knew about such places existing in the screens of our television.

"You nervous?" Vani spoke again. I looked at her and nodded in positive. Tasting alcohol was one thing. But tasting it in a club at the peak hour of night was completely different. Needless to say, I wasn't quite ready for it yet.

"Don't worry. We will drink less and party more." Vani said assuringly.

"I can handle three large vodka, neat. And then if you are drunk then I can handle you as well." I smiled and rolled up my right sleeve. The guard standing outside the door of the club, imprinted a stamp on my flesh over there.

"Thank you so much." Vani squealed as she got herself a similar stamp. I looked at her happy face and wandered if I could share even a bit of her enthusiasm. The next moment, however, I realized that it was not possible. Vani was happy because she had reasons to. She was finally getting to see the man of her dreams and thus her euphoria was justified. But what about me? I didn't have any such reasons whatsoever!

"Its okay, Vani. I owed this to you." I replied as we walked into the club, hands in hands.

Once inside, Vani gave me in a gentle squeeze. I passed her a smile and detached ourselves. Our awestruck eyes had settled upon the neon lit interior by then.

"There is so much of noise." I complained Vani midway. She danced her eyebrows animatedly and asked me back-

"Can you hear everyone screaming His name?"

"I can hear Him singing too." I rolled my eyes. Vani and her obsession for Him, gosh, she was just impossible!

"See, I told you we are going to be late." She accused and without really waiting for an answer, dragged me through the crowd of people to reach the centre of the club where He was singing with an accoustic guitar in hands.

To be more specific, He was actually an international singing sensation whose name was Bira. Or that was what Vani had told me. I am sure Vani didn't know his original name. But then did anybody else know that name other than me? I guess not.

When I heard about Bira for the first time I had cringed wondering that why would someone name his child after an alcohol brand. I wasn't particulary interested in this guy, but his name had made me search for him in the social media just to know how did he look like. It was a different case though that he was not available there. He was an anynomous figure. People knew him only by his voice. His face was yet to be seen by those who hadn't attended his concert. For those who had seen him by luck, they were strictly prohibited from clicking his photo and circularising it over internet.

'Your Bira is a strange person.' I remember I had told Vani.

'Maybe because he believes that his anonymity is his power.' Vani had said in return.

Now when I was meeting Bira in real, I realised how complicated we humans are. Whether anonymity was his power or not I don't know. But the fact that his name was justified, got into my head the moment I heard him singing a melody which was nothing less than intoxication.

Interestingly, this was the first time I was hearing Bira. For the past one year Vani had tried a lot to make me listen to him but I didn't budge. The repentance was getting onto me now as I discovered a pleasant similarity between Bira's baritone and a pint of the strong beer I had had last time.

But amidst this pleasant feeling there was something else too that called for concern. Bira's voice. Yes, the voice which was intoxicating me till now was the same voice I think I had heard before. Lived before. And adorned before as well. That voice belonged to.... well, he was a figment of my past. But what about Bira? Why did I find his voice similar to the one I still remembered till date?

I pushed the crowd further and reached near the central platform. Vani had already left me to occupy a space that gave her a better view. Now it was my turn. With a thudding heart and an ever so fidgety mind, I looked up and finally saw the face that brought my entire world to an abrupt pause.

It wasn't Bira sitting before me. It was Kabir, my Kabir Sisodia.

The next moment something happened which I wasn't really prepared for. Kabir stood up from his chair and walked upto the periphery of the platform, from where he stretched his hand, allowing his fans the fortune of touching him just for once.

His female fans went gaga over this. They shouted and jumped and pushed each other to get a little space that could grant them the proximity of their favourite star. Unfortunately, I was in the same group. But unlike the rest of them I didn't try to do anything. Or lets say I wasn't in a state to do anything. I was numb, my mind being too preoccupied to show any reaction. Hence when Kabir's hand came infront of me, I didn't do much except staring at him with blank eyes and secretly hoping that he recognized me.

But whom was I kidding? Not only did Kabir fail to recognize but also he passed me a silly smile, probably mistaking me to be one of his starstruck fans.

I wanted to shout at his face and say that I wasn't just a mere fan. That I was his ex wife for god's sake. But nothing really came out of me. It was good though because my self respect had been saved, yet a deeper part of my heart kept cribbing for Kabir's attention... Special attention if I may add.

Only seconds later, my mind told my heart that the person who hadn't given me attention on our wedding night was going to give none tonight also. Heart stopped its rants after that. The chaos inside me settled. And all of a sudden I knew what was I supposed to do.

I sucked in a breath and stepped back.

My retreating figure made space for few other girls who were genuine Bira fans. I watched them getting close to what they wanted- their Bira's presence. Stupid illusion chasers. I smiled at them as I ambled towards the exit.

My best friend and my ex husband were still oblivious to my fading presence.
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Author's note :P

MALANG is not another of the memory loss stories. It has got an interesting story line that I hope you all would like. So stay tuned and shower some love. Your votes and comments mean tones to me.

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