To All The Books I've Read

Shroud, Is It Promising??

Book Name: Shroud

Author: OKNkanu

Genre: Mystery/Thriller

Status: Complete

Read It: If you like thriller and horror but mind you it's in terrible need of proper construction, don't say I didn't warn you.

PG Rating: You're legally on it so give it a shot

Star Ratings: ★

Book Description: Horror, thriller and mystery merged in one collection.

REVIEW:

Before I begin I want to start by saying that there is a reason why there is a request form chapter and if you can't go by the rules then why bother requesting, all I ask of you is to properly fill out the request form, is that much to ask for?

Now,I know you all noticed the one star I have this book and I will tell you, I didn't give it out of spite or boredom but because of the poor construction of this book and I am going to dissect all the wrongs of this book.
This book had potential but it had no proper development.

TITLE: This is good, the message was passed if you know the meaning and use of the word.

SUMMARY: It promised something I didn't really get from the book, it did a good job with the simplest explanation but as tempting as it was it still gave me false hope.

COVER: Please enable to visit a cover shops or dm to refer you to people who can help you. The cover is not attractive enough.

GRAMMAR: The grammar was great, mostly because the stories weren't too long to edit, which means it was properly constructed with the least mistakes.

This story had no prologue since it isn't exactly a novel but just a compilation.

CHARACTERS: The characters where utterly unrelatable and not understandable within the short time of reading and diving into their world, they were merely words on paper, nothing made their story interesting. Everything about was way too short to even be understood.

CONFLICT: You might be thinking because it is just a short story it doesn't need so much construction and development, well you're wrong. To have a great short story then you have to really develop your story and character to a level which they will be immediately related to or interested in  and get the readers attention enough to keep the story going and have an interesting tone to it.

There were simply no conflict, I understand you want to keep the mystery of what's going on but you lost touch immediately you started telling internal conflict and not showing it, you lost touch immediately you started stating external conflict without expressing it.

Let's dissect story one;
A man is presented to us strangling someone but I felt so disengaged from the story, the characters and what was going on.
Let's take a look at the first paragraph.

Your Paragraph: I squeezed her neck so tight I could feel her esophagus closing in. There was no holding back. She struggled against my firm grip while gulping and gasping for air.

So the underlined sentences are where internal and external conflict are first displayed, here I will give an example of how it would have been more interesting.

Example: my hold tighten against her neck, her oesophagus refuted its original position and she clawed at my hands. Dread washed over me but there's no way I am giving up now, I will end this. She kept struggling and clawing and flaring as she gulped like a fish on dry land, struggling and striving to stay alive.

This is how I expect conflict to be expressed and it should be done properly to get more attention and open up the mind to more understanding and imagination of the scene playing out.

IMAGINATION: You have great imagination but expressing it out in a story form is limited and comes out a bit forced and rigid instead of a smooth flow of words accompanying imagination. When thinking up a scene or action, try broadening your mind by asking yourself, "why is what's about to happen important to my characters development and reaction" and also ask "what would my character do faced with this kind of situation" another one is "why does my character want to do what he/she is about to do so bad and how can I expand into my character's mind and their thinking and reaction", these are also great tips for proper character development.

BACKSTORY: Backstory is as important as anything, it tells us why our character react the way he/she does and why he/she sees the way he/she does.
Your characters have backstory and it is what helps you to understand why your character about to reacts the way he/she does and it's important because it broadens the mind of the writer to more knowledge of what the character is going to take on in the future and it was poorly reflected in any of the stories and it would have given her story more Dept and understanding and more mystery to it.
       Work on this area as well, try to broaden the story and expand it, it's way too short and less entertaining.

TECHNICALITIES: There was no risk to this story, the pace was abrupt and and short and disengaging, no logic and no real proof of emotions displayed.

FINALLY: I would say to take your mistakes seriously and adhere the corrections and try to work more on your stories, they have potential so don't stop at expanding and reaching deeper. Give your stories a little more life.

Author's Note
I hope you liked this review and can take some corrections and add into your own writing. Have a great day.

If you liked this review enough then please leave your thoughts in the comments section below and give it a star if possible and recommend this book to someone, it would make my day. Thank you so much.