Holding Onto Youth

Chapter 2

SIERRA

"I pity those who have never enjoyed their solitude."

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I had spent the rest of the day avoiding Xavier, more for my own good. Boys are not to be trusted, and I was going to stick to that motto. I traded in my unfashionable attire for my waitress uniform which consisted of a short cotton pink fabric that stopped just above my knees and a white polyester shirt which had a cute pig on it. I also got the privilege to wear a nice visor. I've been working at Oinks N' Grill for about three years. It's the only way I'm able to afford anything since my mother spends all our money on white powder.

"Sierra? What are you doing here so early? Your shift doesn't start till the next hour." I peeped over my shoulder at her, as I closed the locker which contained my stuff. Abigail Norm was probably the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. She had honey brown colored curls that coated her rosy cheeks perfectly. She had plump, red lips and round brown eyes. Her kindness was unmatched, however that wasn't the best part of her. It was her handsome, smooth dark skin that seemed polished. 

"I know! I was just hoping I could start now you know." I rattled, maybe just a little to fast. She eyed me through slits while pursing her lips before grinning silly. She took her visor out her locker, placing it between her teeth as she bundled her curls together into a bun. 

"You don't have to explain anything to me, you know and you need to relax. I'm not going to bite you." She chuckled, while placing the visor on her head. She threw her arm over my shoulder as we both headed out to serve hungry customers and confused tourist.

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My shift had concluded around ten and Abigail was left to lock up. I was used to walking home at night because- and it may sound crazy, I felt most comfortable at that time of day. I felt unseen and safe which is a tad bit peculiar but, to be quite honest, I never had a reason to feel unsafe. Only around Uncle Matthew that is. 

As I walked up the side walk, the bright yellow house came into view- almost out-shining the street lights. Yellow is considered to be a happy color, which is ironic because everyone that resided in the bright yellow house was brightly depressed. My mother, my father and even me- not shocking at all. I could hear the sound of Bob's Burgers playing on tv while I closed the door behind me. 

"Where's Mom?" I asked as I plopped down on the couch beside my Dad. He shrugged, throwing his arm around me and placing a kiss on my temple. I could see that dealing with my Mom's addiction was aging him by the day. It was very blatant that he wasn't taking care of himself. There seemed to be a permanent frown on his small, thin lips and creases on his forehead. His facial hair had grown out and his clear blue eyes were empty- like a sky without clouds, it just wasn't as beautiful anymore. 

"She's probably out killing herself again. You know that's her new hobby now." He mentioned. He sighed, rubbing his forehead before patting my leg and sighing.

"I'm gonna head to bed now. There's pizza in the oven. Goodnight honey." I nodded, watching his slumped figure disappear up the stairs. We've been dealing with Mom's addiction for three years. I remember the first time I found out that she's been using. It started after she lost her job as a journalist at Express, a newspaper company. She came home later than usually with blood shot eyes and red blotches on her skin. Ever since then she hasn't stopped, no matter how many times we send her to rehab or therapy or hell to a cemetery- just to show her where she'll end up if she keeps at this, it just doesn't matter. Her love for heroin and cocaine extends beyond her love for her family and her life. We don't stand a chance against those drugs. 

I hear the sound of the front door click followed with shuffling footsteps and then the noise of a body dropping to the floor. I throw my head back, pinching my nose bridge. There is not enough strength in the world to deal with this shit. She was passed out right in front of the door dressed in the skimpiest outfit she could have found. I dragged her body towards the couch, yanking her onto it and then covering her with the quilt Dad left for her. I brushed her black damp hair out of her face, placing  a kiss on her hollowed cheeks. 

"Your inconsistency will be the death of this family." I mumbled before heading up the stairs. I peeped into my father's room to see him passed out on his bed. I pulled his blanket over him and took off the lights. Sometimes it felt like I was the parent and not them. I know my father tries his best but it's not enough but I definitely know for sure things haven't been easy at all. 

I sighed, dropping down onto my bed just as my phone rang. I spewed curses into my pillow before getting up to grab it from my table.

"Hello?"

"Hi clever bean!"

"Aunty Paula? Oh my gosh I miss you so much!" I whined as she chuckled.

"I know kid. I have your room set up and waiting for you."

"Ugh I can't wait to leave here."

"And I can't wait to have you. How's your Mom?" 

"Bad. Worse I could say." She sighs unable to find words to express her disappointment.

"I know it must be so hard for you Sie but just hold on okay. You're truly an amazing kid."

"Thank you Aunty."

"Where's your Dad?"

"He's asleep."

"Okay. You should get some rest. I want your results for all of your exams as soon as you get them. Remember what the goal is." I smiled, nodding.

"I remember Aunty. I'll catch you later. I love you."

"Love you to, sweetie. Goodnight!"

"Night!" I mumbled as I hung up. Aunt Paula was right. I have to remember what the goal is or else I'll be stuck here forever and that's not what I want.