Holding Onto Youth

Chapter 34

XAVIER

"There were so many songs to sing, yet the only one he remembered was hers."

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I sighed, splashing water on my face before drying it with my towel. My reflection was unrecognizable. Bags under my eyes, bruises on my cheek, a cut lip and a bloody nose. Toby had a mean right hook. I should have seen it coming, he warned me. Clothes carpeted the floor and none of them were hers. I missed her so much. Plopping down at the edge of the bed, I yanked my phone out. She hadn't answered any of my text or calls. I guess I don't quite understand the concept of space. But giving her room to forget about me- I think not!

"Hello?"

"Hey Morg! You okay?" My voice was a bit strained and gruff.

"I should be asking you that. Are you sick?"

"No! Just a bit tired. How's everything at home?"

"The same as before. Dad's gone again."

"Where's Mom?"

"In her room. She hasn't been out since we came back from Disney Land." I groan, stretching my arm as I shook my head.

"I'll be back soon, okay? Just take care of her!"

"Hurry back! It's lonely here."

"I know babe. I gotta go, I love you!"

"I love you too!" 

I groaned, walking back into the bathroom to exam my face. I gently brushed my right eye that was now black and winced from the pain that had exploded in it. I grabbed my sunglasses and threw a shirt on before leaving the room. I headed over to Percy's room, knocking rapidly to wake him. There was quick shuffling before the door was yanked open and then his face fell.

"Hey cheater, you're up early!" He grinned mischievously while walking away. I forced a smile, realizing that I was now swimming in the same pool as the rest of the dipshits who took their partner's for granted. Percy plopped down onto the bed, ran his fingers through his hair before folding his arms. "Sierra isn't here, you know that right?" I nod slowly, sitting on Ander's bed.

"She won't answer any of my text or anything."

"Why should she? That was fucking low X, I expected better from you." My heart sunk as I rubbed my palms on my thighs.

"I know, I know! I just- I can't find an explanation for what I did. It'll all sound cliché but I regret everything. I wish I could take it all back!"

"I bet you do! Why'd you even do it man? Was some foreign pussy really worth it?"

"It's that fucking Cairo guy that got into my head-"

"He did nothing to you-"

"They slept together!" Percy squinted, then raised a brow.

"Who did?"

"That guy at the club and- and Sierra-"

"Oh him- yeah I knew that!" 

"You knew? When did she tell you about him?"

"Probably a week after it happened- I don't know. Why does it matter?"

"Because she never told me!" Percy stares at me for a moment before cackling loudly as he rolled off the bed. It took him a few minutes before he got himself together. He sat in front of me, legs spread and elbows propped onto his thighs.

"She doesn't have to tell you shit! Because at the time, you were not her boyfriend- you guys weren't even talking much. You weren't even clear about your feelings towards her. Sierra is a woman- with needs and she was going through a rough time so if she felt the need to lose herself a bit, I don't see why she has to answer to you. I get that your jealous and you need to work on that but-... if she tells you that nothing is going on between them then you need to believe that until she gives you a reason to think otherwise. What you did to her was so fucking immature and she did not deserve it!"

"You're right! You're so right!" I whisper while nodding. I bit down on my lip to cease myself from crying. "Have you seen her since- do you know where she is?"

"She doesn't wanna see you, X."

"Yeah yeah I know- I just wanna know that she's somewhere safe." He exhales deeply and scratches his head.

"She is safe." 

"She's with him, isn't she?" He looked away as he rubbed his palms together. Shaking my head, I covered my face but it didn't stop me from crying.  

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I swirled my finger in the sand, staring out at the ocean. The waves came strong and hard, then turned into a gentle crash as it neared the shore. Maybe it realized how fragile it was, understanding that it couldn't possibly withstand the pressure it was coming with. That's why it changed its pace. Signs were everywhere and I heeded them but she wasn't nearby, rather further than I wanted her to be. Yet I missed her with every particle in my body.

"Hey." Marisol sat beside me in her red bathing suit. she dug her toes into the sand until it was completely buried. 

"Hey." I replied. The wind blew hard causing her bun to become undone and her curly hair cascading down her back and on her face. She left it. 

"You doing okay?"

"No."

"I expected that answer." She turned to me, patted my shoulder. "I'm sorry about what happened." I looked at her, confused.

"You're sorry that I cheated on her?" She scoffed, shaking her head.

"I'm sorry that you made a stupid mistake that resulted in the one thing you've dreaded. Her leaving you."

"That's- yeah..." I buried my hands beneath the sand, trying to distract my brain from thinking about her. Marisol inhaled the air, eyes closed and head tilted back before exhaling calmly.

"Instead of sulking, try thinking of what you'd say to her next time you see her. What are you willing to do to fix this Xavier?" She nodded at me, planted a kiss on my head before running off into the water to meet Toby- who hasn't said a word to me since yesterday. Percy came hopping out of the water with a grin on his face before it fell instantly. He averted his gaze to the floor just as Ander walked by. Ander stopped as if to say something to him but Percy kept walking until he was in front of me.

"Can I sit?" I nod and he does.

"You guys still mad at each other?" He spread his legs apart, gathered sand between them with his hands to build something.

"It is what it is. This trip is turning into the worst fucking vacation of my life. I just wanna go home to see my sister."

"Breanna's back?"

"Yeah! She got in the day after we left. She's staying 'till graduation."

"Oh that's cool!" He slammed his fist into the castle he was building before groaning.

"Man fuck this shit! Sierra and I should have just gone somewhere alone." He grumbled before getting up and walking away back to the hotel I presume. This vacation really is turning into our worse nightmare.