Holding Onto Youth

Chapter 40

TOBY

"Color is diverse and it exist in abundance, yet we only notice two shades."

🌴🌴🌴

Time is an illusion.

Just a conundrum that was fabricated to petrify the human race into disarray where they eventually generate their own doom based on this misinterpreted perception of what time is. It basically does not exist, to me that is. I have spent so many days wasting it on thoughts about it- about time and it has gotten away from me often. Until I finally understood that it wasn't real. It doesn't exist in the Universe or Space because humans are the birth parents of time. We birthed this concept as a way to navigate history, the present and the future and even then our calculations could be incorrect. We put a time stamp on things like- when you're supposed to receive your drivers license or drink or buy an apartment or a car. What is the purpose for it? I believe that this is our way of trying to speed up evolution, by putting an expiration date on Life. There are all these things that seem mandatory for you to do before you expire and you power through, exceeding your potential and end up six feet under and that is when you claim to have lived. Could that be classified as living? Human kind has allowed some electrical device to puppet their moves on a daily basis just to maximize how many hours they get out of the day. What if the day exceeds beyond 24hrs? What if it's actually still daytime even when the Sun is no longer in view? And why does the clock say 12am after 11pm? Why does the 'new day' begin from 12am? We have just created the most confusing social construct ever.

"Tobs?" I jumped, reeling around in my chair to stare at my mother. "Lost in your head again?" She questioned as she ruffled my hair. I laid my head on her stomach, closing my eyes briefly. 

"I can't believe I'm leaving for college soon." She sighed, giving me a tight squeeze.

"Can't believe my little boy has grown up so fast. I can't keep up!"

"I'll come back home for every single holiday. I promise!"

"This house is gonna be so empty without you." I looked up at her, only to notice the tears streaming down her cheeks. I chuckled, standing before wrapping her in my arms. Ever since I could remember, it's always been my mom and I. She's always had my back no matter what. I have so much respect for her after having witnessed the things she did for me without shame or insecurity. The late nights and early mornings, or the afternoons with no lunch, or sometimes no dinner. Birthdays without cakes or parties or even guest- it was all worth it. I am who I am today, because of everything she's done for me and I am eternally grateful to her for that.

"Mom? Please stop crying!" She whimpered, hugging me even tighter just as my step-father walks in. He shakes his head with a pout.

"Not you too!" I whined just as my mother pulled away.

"You see, baby? Your dad and I are gonna miss you so much!" 

"You guys are so dramatic! I think you're just pretending and when I leave, you'll be living your best life." I teased, trying to lighten the mood. It didn't work. Robert's eyes glossed over as he patted my shoulder.