Leave Me Before I Go

Phone Calls

I open the door and I see William standing there, All soaked.

“What the hell Scarlet! Answer your fucking phone, will you?” He says and then barges in.

“Hi.” I say. Not exactly sure of all that was happening.

William takes off his coat and sits on the couch. He is all soaked up. It’s been raining. Michael was right.

“What were you doing?” William says with his stern voice. I go and sit next to him, and then I rest my head on to his chest. I can feel his damp shirt next to my face, but I don’t mind.

“What’s wrong?” William says with concern.

I look in to his dark blue eyes say: “Stay like this, Will. I’m really tired.” Tears start coming out of my eyes and I can feel will’s hand on my hair. He slowly kisses my forehead and hugs me.

William or as I call him Will was my roommate back in collage. There were four of us in a small apartment near the university. Three girls and a boy. Lana and I are still friend and Will of course. I haven’t heard of Lucy though. Not in a long time. I hadn’t seen Will in a while too. Oh God! No. I can’t believe I forgot about it! Will and I were supposed to meet up this afternoon. This is awful.

I raise my head up and sit straight.

“I’m sorry, Will. I overslept.” I say. I think I sound enough shameful.

“I can see that.” Will says, giving me a smile. “What happened?” He continues.

“Michael happened!” I say while wiping the tears off. Will lets out a long sight. “How did you get my address?” I say getting off the couch to go in to the kitchen.

“Lana. Where are you going?” Will says following me to the kitchen.

I want to answer Will but I cut my feet from the shards of glasses on the kitchen floor from earlier. I go back. William helps me and I sit back on the couch. The cut isn’t that bad. I’ll survive. Unfortunately.

“Why are there broken glasses on your kitchen floor, exactly?” William says. With his short damp hair.

“Well, Michael pushed me in to the wall, he was trying to kiss me. I didn’t want to kiss him back. So I pushed him and then this glass fell.” I say trying so hard not to start crying again.

“God, Scar! Are you hurt?” Will says trying to hold back his anger.

“Yes. I’m fine. Just bleeding. Feet.” I say calmly. “And heart.” I say again.

“What happened with Michael? Exactly?” Will says.

“Exactly?” I say and he gives me back a smile and nods.

“Well, I loved him, he cheated, he now says he loves me, unfortunately I still love him too but I need time to think, I told him so. Nothing awful happened today. Well maybe, but not really awful I mean it could have been worse.” I say that and pull Will on the couch to sit next to me.

We don’t say much after that just talk. I ask him if we could not talk about Michael for the time being he agreed. I talked about the classes he has been giving on Photography which he says is going awesome and he loves it. That made me happy. We talked about everything and nothing and then we ordered some Chinese food from this new take out place which was surprisingly very nice. Will left at 11 I asked him to stay he said that he needed to go so I just agreed and gave him a hug and he hugged me back.

I went to continue my “Music Saves” thing and put in some new ideas. I slept at 2:30 am. All I could think of was Michael. I missed him. I miss him. I will miss him. Always. Always.

***

Today is Monday. It has been two days since I’ve heard of Michael. I wonder what he is doing. I’ve finished my project and I email it to Laura. I think I’ll be able to go back to work sooner. It would feel better. Would be better for me. Maybe I would stop thinking so much about Michael.

I grab my grey coat and wear my black sneakers with a white t-shirt and black jeans. I’m going to grab some coffee. I love coffee. Have I mentioned that before? Anyways, I put on my coat and head outside.

I saw this small coffee shop the other day, right around the corner and I was thinking of checking it out. I get in there fast. I always walk fast when I’m alone, it’s a habit of mine. Michael always hated that. Oh well, Fuck him!

I get in to the small Coffee shop. Oh my god! It is so beautiful. The whole place is decorated with dark and light brown paint. The chairs, the tables. On the tables are these really nice looking dark green covers, which matches the painting on they’ve put up on the wall. The paintings are all of people smoking cigarette. Classical actors mostly. I don’t smoke much myself but I always thought smoking was sexy. I don’t even know why. Maybe because Paul Newman smoked.

I go sit on the corner. My table is the smallest table there but still has two chair. It always makes depressed. I mean the fact that I’m alone. Being alone doesn’t bother. But being lonely. That’s another thing. After a minute or two, a pretty ginger young girl comes up to me and asks me what I’d like to drink. She looked very pretty. Her orange hair all curly and held up. After admiring her beauty I ordered a dark Coffee with their special cake for Sunday.

I could feel my phone buzzing so I take it out of my bag. It’s an unfamiliar number. I decide to take it anyway.

“Don’t hang up.” It’s Michael.

“Ok. What is it?” I say. Trying to sound completely calm.

“I’m sorry.” He says that. And for a moment I guess I want to believe him. I think I just did believe him.

“Where are you?” he breaks the silence I left him in after he apologized. I really didn’t know what to say. I looked down on my sneakers and said: “Nowhere special. Where are you?”

I could hear him breath from the underline. It felt like he was smoking. I loved it when he smoked. Maybe it’s not all about Paul Newman.

“I’m with the guys at the studio. Roger says hi.” Michael said. I think I heard Roger’s voice. I miss the boys. Haven’t seen them since my dad’s funeral.

“Hey, I was wondering. Do you want to come over to our place?” Michael said. Right, OUR place.

The pretty girl brings my Coffee and I thank her and take a sip of it.

“I don’t know. Why should I?” I say. Faking my indifference.

“Because I miss you.” Michael said.

“You’re not allowed to.” I say and then I hang up.

 I finish my coffee and eat up all the cake. I guess I really was hungry. As I left the coffee shop I thought to myself: “I’ll definitely come here again.”

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