Poems of Hardship and Pain

Suicide

I know that there are some who try to hide their attempts to suicide,
Long-sleeve to cover the marks of the pain that they think will never leave,

Stuck in a dark place, thinking that happiness is an illusion while they’re trapped in a bubble of confusion, sticking to solitude and seclusion,

This piece here is for you, and everything inside is somehow all true,

I know that it seems hard, worse even, like a fucking word can explain how you’re feeling or how it’s your joy that this darkness is stealing,

I know because I am you, not even was, this is the present tense as I feel the muscles around my neck tense as a warning not to go further into this,

No, I have never pressed a blade to my skin but I was just a kid when something happened to me and it seemed fine but there was a ripple in time and it hit me with the triple the force in retrospection as soon as I started an inspection,
Trapped inside a bottle of an emotional and psychological whirlwind, never finding a voice with which to shout, never finding the top to find a way out,

Skin split as my fists hit the wall,
Rage untamed and named Myself,
Never liked the person staring back through the mirror and I felt that disgust constantly creeping nearer,

Always feeling alone, always feeling uncared for, like what’s wrong with me, why isn’t it me that the world can possibly adore?

I’ve cried myself to sleep at night,
Never talked about my pain and now my brain is my own worst enemy – never really been a friend to me after I forced myself into a cage of self-hate and disgust which could all have been avoided if I just learned to trust,

Not saying that it is the only cure and not saying it’s easy but now it’s years later and I’m getting better, at least trying to find the cause that's underlying,

Every day is a battle, and every week a war, every month a siege but you can stand if you choose to believe that the voices in your head that are telling you you’re worthless are wrong, and I know it feels like it won’t be long 'till those demons take you but hold strong,

All those voices saying that you will never be anything are scared because they know that you have the power to do anything you want, when the hour comes for battle – suit up and show your demons that you’re the fucking wolf and not the cattle, don’t believe their lies as they sit and try to prattle,

I know you feel a lot of darkness within, I know that the slightest thought of worthlessness can send you into a spin, but I’m telling you that this war that you’re fighting is one that you can win,

I know you feel like this darkness is all-consuming but know that you’re a gorgeous fucking flower that’s blooming,

You’ve got scars, I’ve got scars too,
Stand outside and let the rain wash you anew,
You can wear scars from battle,
But don’t let them define you.

A/N
To all those who suffer from depression, don't read this and think that this will make the pain go away. Seek professional help, there is absolutely nothing wrong with it and there's nothing wrong with you. You are loved, even when you're at your lowest and think that you're not.