Wrath Of God

Chapter 1: 'Love is an illusion'

“How do I look in this one?” she asks me as she turns around.

I nod and flash a fake smile. She's wearing a blue dress with white frills that make her look like domestic worker but I keep my mouth shut and smile. I found life is easier that way. Especially with her. Her name is Alison and I am supposed to like her.

According to old man Williams, she’s supposed to be my soul mate. He can see it in our eyes. All I know is when I look into her eyes I want to keel over and die, but I will do anything to keep old man Williams happy. That includes watching Alison try on hand-me-down dresses donated from the local Church. She enjoys trying on dresses and pretending to be a princess or prom queen or whatever teenage girls think of. She spends too many hours in front of the mirror twirling and posing and asking my opinion.

She lived on attention whereas I would do anything to be invisible. I couldn’t be more different to her yet for some strange reason she liked me, saw something in me that I swear didn’t exist. Old man Williams saw it too. He is the owner and father figure of “The Caring Cross Orphanage”. That has been my home since I was six. Ten years later watching kids come and go, I am still stuck here.

My name is Kyle Palmer. I'm sixteen, brown hazel eyes and dark black hair.

I don't talk much and when I do it’s a practiced lie. I don't have a favorite band or a favorite actor or actress. There was very little in this world I truly cared for.

I was what you would call damaged. Yet here I was pretending to be normal.

I wore my fake smile just as I have every waking moment of my life.

I was empty, I had no purpose and I definitely was not in the mood to smile. Yet I smiled and pretended that life was okay. I did this because I found people ask less questions when they think you love life. When you are sad, withdrawn and quiet, people want to know what’s wrong and want to try help. They do not leave you alone. So I feign happiness so that I can be left alone. Something that just wasn’t working at the moment.

“What do you think of the blue one? Which one will look better on me? The red one has a hole but I could patch it up. What do you think?” Alison’s voice drones on and on, will she ever stop talking?

“I think you look good in anything Alison, but go for the blue one”, I answer nice and smoothly.

That should keep her smiling for a while. I had learnt the subtle art of flattery, and deception was like a second language to me. Alison with her sweet innocence blushed, smiled and tucked a loose strand of her blonde hair behind her ear as she said two words that were harmless but struck a chord that made me sick in my stomach…

‘Thanks love’.

“Love is an illusion Kyle. Love, hmmphh …. “Love is an illusion”, the words of my mother. I remember the day clearly now. Then I was five and a half and had no idea what she was talking about. Now, I understand. I was hiding in the cupboard with her. Hiding away from my father who was once again in a drunk rage. As she held me close, I heard her quiet sobs, looked up, and saw the pain on her face. I tried to wipe away her tears and my hands ran over the bruises and bumps. She took my hands in hers and pulled me closer. Father cursed loudly, threatening mother and saying things that made her wince and her heart beat rapidly with fear.

He picked up a cheap lime green vase that held two fake plastic lilies and threw it hard against the wall shattering the vase. He kicked the bookshelf hard causing a couple old books and scribbled on magazines to tumble onto the floor.