Wrath Of God

Chapter 9: 'Chaos'

I decided to spend the day at my less luxurious ordinary house. Some days it felt good to rich and powerful Thomas Gabriel but other days I just wanted to be plain and boring Michael Lorne. I still drove a Mercedes just this one was about twenty years older and looked like my expensive one puked this one out. I parked it in front of my house, got out and slammed the door close. You had to slam it hard shut or it wouldn’t close. I had a small neatly trimmed lawn and a neat trimmed hedge surrounding it.

I had a gardener who came weekly and took care of it all. He also maintained my bright blue pool in the back garden that I haven’t used since the day I purchased this house. I wore a red checkered shirt and blue denim jeans. A far cry from my perfectly tailored Armani suits I wore as Thomas Gabriel. I smiled a great big fake smile and waved to my elderly neighbor Mrs. Davidson as I opened my front door.

I sauntered around the house moving odd things around and trying to do things that normal people would do like change light bulbs and hang up paintings.

After a short while I ran out of normal things to do and found myself sitting on the couch in front of the television. There was nothing more normal in life then sitting and vegetating in front of a flickering screen that told you how to live.

An advert came on the television. It was an advertisement for a brand of coffee. Apparently this coffee brought people together and made them fall in love.

The actors on the screen looked at each other and smiled as the sunset behind them while violins and pianos played in the background. They looked genuinely happy but the happiness was fake. If anything they were smiling from the thought of how much money they were going to make from the commercial. Their love wasn’t real, no love was.

Money was real and so was the greed, deception and violence that it created.

I turned the television off and walked to the kitchen to make coffee. I doubt it would bring me everlasting happiness and make me fall in love but it would help me wake up and keep the nightmares at bay.

Alison. As I held the coffee cup in my hand and thought about the couple smiling in the advert my thoughts somehow went to her. She loved me. I never fully understood why.

I was never worthy of her love but even after I ignored her and left her she still loved me, still wanted me. Maybe it was because I never rejected her at first.

When old man Williams introduced us to each other I had smiled warmly.

I had laughed, made her laugh and I had made her smile. Of course my smiles had been faked, my laughter had been perfectly timed and my interest in her was all for the benefit of old man Williams. To me it was fake but to her it was all real.

She had been rejected by her 17 year old mother and her snobbish high class family.

She had been rejected by two foster families who wanted cute smiling kids and not a silent depressive girl that cried and screamed all night long. After all that rejection I had accepted her and she never let me go.

If father hadn’t killed mother and if I wasn’t chosen to be the saving angel and the wrath of God, could I have been in love? I knew that love was an illusion but sometimes fantasy was better than reality. If I didn’t have a purpose would it have been possible for me to be happy?