𝐈𝐍 𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐎𝐌! ( kpop oneshots )

+ JINHA ▎ BEGONIAS.

― TRIGGER WARNING, THIS ONESHOT INCLUDES:
brief mentions of abuse.
implied sexual activity.

.❀。• *₊°。 ❀°。

𝐁𝐄𝐆𝐎𝐍𝐈𝐀𝐒:
― 𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚒𝚟𝚒𝚍𝚞𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚢.
― 𝚞𝚗𝚒𝚚𝚞𝚎𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚜.
― 𝚍𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗.
― 𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚖𝚘𝚗𝚢.

.❀。• *₊°。 ❀°。

❝ THE SINCERITY OF THE BEGONIA. ❞
jinha // word count: 5,857.

.❀。• *₊°。 ❀°。

Jinwoo would never know if Myungjun had been in love with him all those years ago. They were silly kids, just two lost souls clinging onto the first person they encountered that set their hearts on fire. It wasn't an extraordinary romance by any stretch of the imagination, but despite that, Jinwoo had never not relished in Myungjun's complete and utter simplicity. He was older than Jinwoo by just shy of two years, and with his charming smile, he'd taken the younger male for the ride of his life. They were just past their preteen years, simply too naive to know what love was or if what they were feeling in those fragile moments was that. All they knew back then was that the warmth of another body beside of them was nice, -comfortable. All Jinwoo knew was that Myungjun made him feel safe, as if nothing in the world could hurt him.

Myungjun had been autumn. He was sincere, and perhaps a bit too honest when push came to shove. But even so, he was lovable, and he was the person that Jinwoo needed at that time in his life. He was once the person that Jinwoo had needed more than anyone else, and that would forever be undeniable. When his parents began to fight and their voices bounced off the walls of their home, seeping under his bedroom door and up through the floorboards, Jinwoo could escape through his window and crawl in through Myungjun's, because he was always welcome there. Always, always, always. Even when they had their disagreements and their arguments, the elder male was never cruel enough to withdraw his affection. Even when there were hard feelings between them, Jinwoo knew he had a home within Myungjun's humble embrace. He never doubted that. Myungjun never gave him a reason to.

Whether they were ever in love was the farthest thing from Jinwoo's mind when he thought back on the chilly months that he'd spent with Myungjun right before winter came and swept him away forever. When Jinwoo thought about that point in time, the time in which his parents had been at one another's throats over the drop of a hat, the time in which he'd been wondering just who he did and didn't want to be, -Jinwoo couldn't bring himself to question such a frivolous thing. One way or another, Myungjun had loved him, and the means by which he had, Jinwoo couldn't bring himself to care about. All that really mattered to him, both now and then, was that Myungjun's arms had been open when he needed him the most. When his heart had been sewn to the outside of his sleeve, the elder male had protected it, no matter the intentions, romantic or otherwise, that he had for doing so.

Even if they were to meet face to face during current times, Jinwoo knew that Myungjun wouldn't be able to answer him honestly as to whether he had been in love with him or not. After all, Jinwoo himself didn't even know if he'd felt that way. Feelings are complex and they change over time, -they change when you look back on them, or rather, you make sense of them in ways that you could never have made sense of them when they were washing over you in the moment.

When Myungjun kissed him, Jinwoo felt loved, and he felt cherished. But whether or not he was in love with Myungjun would, more than likely, forever remain a mystery as far as he was concerned. And in every sense of the word, that was okay. What mattered the most had long since been both said and done, and when the truth was stripped down to its rawest form, in teenaged flesh under the hefty glow of the moon, Jinwoo had been loved. He had felt love, he had expressed love, and he had been given love, and he would accept it no matter the form that it came in.