Rituals, Regrets, and Really Dumb People

Chapter 1: The River Red, Part 5

That done, I walked back to the altar chamber and I picked up my staff. There, my lads were running in, a few cultists and demons following behind Dimitri. I slowly sat down at one of the front pews and leaned back, breathing heavy. So much was weighing on my mind, and now I could see how much blood the priestess sacrificed to lay her trap; it was a lot.

"Have you killed the Seal?" one of the demons asked me in his bizarre tone. It sounded like his throat had been making love to live grenades and Molotov cocktails.

I mulled over how to best handle my given situation. As much as I hated lying, I could not blow this. I could not let them know that I was weakened, or that I had let kid escape. I had to play this cool. Funny, I guess what the priestess said about honesty was rather on point.

"No. She escaped, and the tunnel has collapsed," I said.

"What!?" the horned demon asked in frustration. He ran past me to the back door. "Escaped!?"

"By all means, go and check."

He did, and he came back in anger. "You've let She down."

"Oh shut the fuck up. She knows it was a risk and a gamble."

"Why aren't you chasing them?"

"I don't know how far they've gone, the priestess battled me. The Seal was long gone. And you know, the collapsed doorway and all that."

"That shouldn't have stopped the likes of you."

"Didn't I just say I battled the priestess? She was an ancient vampire. I am good, but not that good."

He found himself frustrated by my answers. "We can go around and find if there's an end to the tunnels—"

"No," I said quickly, jumping up. "We will have another chance. We should take our loot and head back home."

"You—refuse to chase?" he asked me.

"Yes. We will get another chance."

"Fool. I will tell She about this."

I sneered. "I'll tell her myself. Get your ass out of here and go tell the boys to round up. We're going home."

Well, the demon wasn't happy about that. All the devils left with him, going back outside to round the legions. This left Dimitri and the four cultists walking up to me next, to examine me. I looked at them, saw the confusion on their faces; unlike the demons, the cultists were human, which meant they had human weaknesses. This could also be considered strengths; they could tell something was more obviously wrong with me.

"What?" I asked them.

"Nothing, master," one of the cultists said as he sheepishly hung his head.

Dimitri was the most observant of them. He snapped his fingers and pointed back to the hall, sending the cultists back outside. They followed command, always the most loyal of the legions to me, and they dared not upset me. Dimitri, however, was his own person and he did not fear me as some great evil or crazed madman. He was a skilled killer, too, so he had the talent to back up his interests.

"What is wrong, Sanguine?" he asked me. This shocked me, I had never heard his voice in all these years. It must have been noticeable for him to break his silence with that deep, resonating voice. Dimitri was, indeed, a force of nature.

"There's nothing wrong, Dimitri," I replied.

"Are you sick?"

"By the Darkness, no."

"Are you feeling tired?"

"No."

"Guilty?"

That word struck me hardest. I think I fumbled with my words after he said that. "Oh, come on Dimitri, have you ever known me to feel guilty about anything? I burned that whole town down while the peasants were screaming and begging me for a stay of execution. All because one man did not kneel to me. Did I feel guilty then?"

"No, I suppose not."

I swallowed hard. "Go on and make sure everyone is pulling out. I need about ten minutes; I took too much of a dosage from a volatile ampoule."

He smacked his fist into his chest and slowly walked outside. I breathed out a sigh of relief as he disappeared. I leaned forward in the pew and I slowly thought about it. I burned a whole town down, people and all, for one man refusing to kneel. I didn't feel guilty about it then, but by God, I feel guilty about it now.

My eyes slowly rose up and I saw Jessica's corpse there, still laying, still lifeless. I felt like I needed to do something, so I got up and I went over to her, picking the cloth drape up on the way. I pulled her out to the center, and I wrapped her body up, as if some respect was due. This wasn't like me; something else was controlling me entirely.

After I was done, I stepped back to the pew, plopped down, and I laid my head in my hands. I felt—bad. I felt heavy and I felt like I was going to have a panic attack. It wasn't just one village I had burned; it was multiple. It wasn't just a few people I murdered, it was hundreds, if not thousands. The years of repressed memories that came to hit me hard and I was utterly stunned. I felt bad about it now. I felt so bad that I looked up to a pillar and found a small carving of He looking down at me with his judgmental glare.

By the Darkness, what have I done?

I need to talk to someone when I get home. Not Typhous, Darkness no, not him. My wife, Meredith! She has always been a goody-two-shoes, even when I was stealing her from her parents. She's always been a softhearted woman. I think I can confide in her. I hope she'll listen to me, I need to get these dumb thoughts out of my head before I die from an aneurysm.