I Still Remain (Completed)

X - A Long Night

"Xiao Wen has always been very protective of you, do you know that?" Wang He Di asked. "That's why I always thought so highly of her—she taught me not just how to take care of you, but also how to protect you."

Shen Yue sat on the opposite side of the round table on the rooftop, savoring the cool night Spring air of mid-March. Didi knew that she would have preferred to sit here alone and contemplate her string of decisions that led to their situation now, but he also knew that this was the only time that he could talk to her privately.

"Anyway, we did swear on something," he continued.

Silence took over. Didi didn't want to spill the deets on the pact unless she asked for it, so he kept mum.

"Are you ever going to say what it was about?" she said with an obviously annoyed tone.

"Thought you'd never ask," he teased. "Well, I promised that I will never hurt you."

Yueyue glanced at him as he gazed at the magnificent sky. He looked over to her but she quickly averted her eyes, scared of making eye contact with him.

"You know what I think though? I think I failed," he said while looking intently at her. "I think I failed so terribly that you decided I wasn't even worth an explanation. I mean, obviously I fucked up, right? It's got to be that. Because if I hadn't hurt you in some way, if I hadn't done something stupid, you wouldn't have fallen out of love with me. Right?"

Didi knew it was wrong to flush the truth out of her this way. He knew it was pathetic to manipulate her into finally clearing things up. But he's playing his final card; this is the last straw for him, and that equates to desperation.

"Or maybe, I didn't hurt you, I just wasn't making you happy anymore," he suggested. "Maybe you found somebody—"

"Stop," she said at last. "Please."

"You know the fact that you're not confirming nor denying anything makes me more convinced that I really am to blame, that I did something I wasn't supposed to," he said.

Didi sighed. When will she talk? He's exhausted. He just wanted to understand. It seemed hopeless for now though, but he missed being alone with her that he decided to speak some more to keep her company.

"You know if I could turn back time, I never would have gone to your place that night," he mused. "I keep thinking about it and it always comes back to that—if I had just stayed where I was and didn't plan for that stupid surprise, maybe we'd still be together now."

"Oh!" he blurted out afterwards. "Was it that surprise? Was that the breaking point? I mean, it was kind of over-the-top, wasn't it? I prepared too much, flowers, the many dishes... but, well in my defense, it was a Saturday and we hadn't seen each other in a while so I had to make an effort to show you—"

"That's it," she whispered.

"What?"

"You said it already."

"What?"

"The reason."

"The surprise?"

"No."

"The flowers?"

"You just said it."

"Too much food?"

"It was our time apart, Wang He Di," she paused. "It made me feel like I didn't know you anymore. Like you're this shining star I was watching from afar. As if you're just this face and number that I periodically talk to through my phone," she finally explained.