I Still Remain (Completed)

IV - Seven Months Ago

Present Day

Shen Yue was one of the few ones left in the venue as the guests and her friends started to leave one by one. The merry atmosphere has now died down and as she quietly sat on one of the chairs waiting for Xiao Wen (who supposedly was having some trouble with her car in the parking lot), she thought about what she told her best friend a while ago.

"I did not fall out of love. I just panicked when the thought of not seeing him for so long did not faze me anymore or when the calls that I used to anticipate so much just became any other call that I'd take if it came. I mistook a relationship slump for emotional flat line and a blip for indifference. I thought I grew tired of him but it turns out, I just needed more of him."

She kept going back to that revelation because now that she's thinking more clearly, she realized she didn't understand why she said it. Was it repressed feelings? Residual feelings? Or was it just the blatant fact that she didn't really fall out of love with him and just needed more of him? She exhaled and decided it was time to call it a night.

Then, as she was about to stand up from her chair and gather her belongings, her phone's screen lit up and she saw Xiao Wen's name. Great, she thought. Just in time. But her pal's message confused her:

You might hate me for this, but I swear he just wants to talk.

She was already composing a reply when she heard hesitant knocks on the door of the private holding room she was in. For some reason, her heart started to pound like a drum and she was suddenly taken back to those instances months ago when she heard countless aggressive knocks on her door—all of which she purposely, but with a heavy heart, ignored.

Meanwhile on the other side of the door stood Wang He Di, who had to take about fifteen deep breaths as he walked towards the doorway. He laughed a little inside and thought about how he might have actually been traumatized by the sight of doors and the act of knocking, because all those months ago when he did and she didn't answer the door made him feel extremely anxious around closed doors. But then he thought that maybe he wasn't entirely traumatized by closed doors, but by the person inside who gets to decide whether to open it or not.

As he closed his eyes and gathered the courage to knock, one of the most painful days of his life suddenly played on his mind like a movie—ironically, the only time when she opened the door after they broke up.

7 Months Ago

Wang He Di gulped down the last of his beer from the bottle. He was at his apartment with Li Xizi, who was sitting opposite him pretending to drink the bottle of beer on his hand but was actually just trying to babysit and make his best friend feel better. He glanced at Didi, who was now awfully quiet and unmindful of the NBA game they were watching, which were obvious signs that he was about two minutes away from reaching the most horrible part of his day.

"Why doent it e'er go 'way?" Didi mumbled, which prompted Xizi to look his way and curse under his breath.

"What?" he asked.

"Y'all said.. after a couple of d-drinks I'll forget her," Didi said, obviously way past his alcohol tolerance. "It's been more 'an a month.... and she's still all I think 'bout. Why?"

Xizi was dumbfounded. "Come on, man, let's get you to bed."

"I'm coming to her," Didi announced. "I'm sure if she just op'ns her door and sees me she'd... take me back."

"Uhuh," was the only sound that came out of Xizi's mouth.

Didi grabbed onto the edge of the low table and tried to stand gracefully but failed. In fact, he almost hit his head on the table and required a few stitches had Xizi not caught him after he lost his footing. Xizi helped him get up on his feet and once he was finally standing up, a sly smile formed on his lips which mouthed, "Keys?"