Waiting for the sun (Leondre Devries)

1-doesn't understand

Leondre's pov
I thought Cara would have known by now. I thought she'd have figured out that I'm not fucking okay all the time. I thought she had gotten it through her skull that I have issues and she can't fix them all. And because of that, she can't fix any now, I left her. I know it was just the fucking impulses again cause of the stress but I don't regret it. I should. But I don't.

Flashback
He lounged about on the recliner, scrolling through twitter notifications: mostly the random 'hey Leo wanna rob a bank?' and 'you look so hot today hun'  stuff from fans and he knew he'd have to put a couple of hours into replying to a few of the not-so-crazy ones later. And he knew that there would always be hate, not everyone likes generic pop music with a bit of rap, it didn't bother him usually. Spiteful people who want their way, that's it. Mostly girls who think they should be Leo's, and have long decided that insults is the way to do it. His mind was filled with all the 'enough of the photoshop, bitchboy' and the 'Charlie could make it better on his own', plus the good old 'the world would be better without you'. Same old overused insults. It wouldn't bother him on a good day. Yet before he could even realise, a lone tear spilled from his eye. It ran down his face, tracing a path down his skin and dripping off the end of his chin. Another, and another, pooling on his jumper, soaking into the gray and turning it black. Leo knew it was pathetically stupid to get over some coward on Twitter and told himself to put a wall up; make a defence system, after all, these people had never even met him. But somehow, the comments had learned to wear down the wall. Scratch holes in the weakest places. His wall been attacked, and beaten down, worn away until there was nothing left. For some fucking reason, he just hadn't realised it yet.
'Wow really Leo? You can't cry over some girl hiding behind a computer screen. Yeah, she's spitting all this onto the internet, but you know it's not true.' The sceptical tone edged her voice. Of fucking course. Carla never understood why the shit like this actually got to him and why he couldn't just 'man up'  and ' grow a pair'. She thought that just because she was fine and dandy, everyone else would be too. In a way, too naïve to see the world around her. Yet not simply stupid enough to genuinely think The world revolves around her. The words left her mouth without any time to stop them.
'What if they are telling the truth and your eyes just aren't open enough.' It was evident that she knew she had said something wrong. But onward she still persisted.
'I mean, like what if you just thought everything about you was perfect but in reality, you're broken. What if your fans have come to realise it. What if I have.' The venom still spays from her lips. By this point he's in a daze. Hands over his ears, head between his knees, pained expression painted over his own. He only catches half the words. Intrigued to know more, desperate for her to stop.
'What if ........... the one person ......... you realise ................... I can't help you ........... I knew this ............ you need help......... your overreacting ...... stop feeling sorry for yourself......... get it in your head that not everyone will fall down at you feet and pray you'll be just fine.'
The last bit was all too clear for him. Carla had done this before. Let loose what she wanted to say, still knowing it would hurt him. Something clicked in his head. Like this was the last straw. The last puzzle piece. Her paddy chance. It barely came out as a whisper.
'Out.'
'Oh I'm sorry, now the precious Leondre Devries is too emotional to speak to his own girlfriend?'
Hate and anger. Sorrow and anguish. All balanced on a razor blade. It tipped. Louder.
'OUT' His jeans, jumper and face where stained wet from the tears. Truth hurt. If Carla was going to fuel it then he didn't want her a part of his life. And she no longer was

Leo's pov
Truth hurts. I am lonely. Nobody cares. I sure don't. I got over her pretty fast but the one thing I missed was the feeling. Of being loved. That someone would care whether or not I decided to come home tonight. Charlie of course by now figured it out and gave me support but he also said I needed to find another girl. Even if she was just a friend, I apparently need a female figure in my life. Charlie should become an agony aunt or something.

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