An Unforeseen Turn of Events

Chapter Forty-Three

Energy-depleted, Daniel lay in bed. Today both his parents and his brother Seth drove him for chemotherapy. They wanted to sit beside his bed, but he felt as if they were keeping vigil, so he told them he needed some time alone. Christine would be arriving home soon and they would need to discuss the schedule on who would drive him to his chemotherapy treatments.

Daniel couldn't bear to look in the mirror, for his hair had turned snow white. His mother couldn't hide her tear-stained face and his father now has an unsteady gait. He questioned whether they were healthy enough to accompany him to chemotherapy. It seemed as if they were turning from older to elderly overnight.

Christine would be talking to her own parents in the next few days. They would be coming home from their first-ever cruise. Daniel shut his eyes tight, saddened that grim news would await them.

Daniel heaved a breath and tried to turn on his side but couldn't. He remained lying flat on his back in bed. He was so weak and nauseous that he couldn't keep track of how many times he threw up at the doctor's office. Nurses had to hold him while he retched. In the background, he heard his mother sobbing and Seth trying to comfort her. By the time he had finished throwing up, his father hid his face in his hands, Seth resembled a ghost, and his weeping mother stumbled to get up and embrace him. She nearly knocked him over—he had already lost a great deal of weight and no longer had much strength. Fortunately, nearby staff prevented her from knocking him down.

My mother, the football player, Daniel chuckled wryly as he recalled the memory.

But his overwhelming depression deepened. His seventy-year-old mother proved too strong for him.

He was fortunate that Christine was making a decent living. If she were making a smaller salary like Seth's wife Heather, he knew it would have taken many more years to buy this house. He was grateful to have not only a capable but also a beautiful wife. He had to admit he had lucked out there.

She probably wouldn't have given me a second thought if she weren't alone with twin toddlers, he told himself.

Not true, an inner optimistic voice countered. She has never looked or talked about another man since she married you. She defied her parents' insistence that she marry a Catholic and she tolerated your own parents' reservations about her.

That inner voice served to rally Daniel's spirits. He had to admit Christine always showed love and warmth toward him. Whenever she did get mad at him, it was never for long.

I guess I've been pretty lucky, he thought. What more can one ask for?

Daniel tried again to move his body. He was the thinnest he's ever been since high school, so why couldn't he just turn over by himself?

Fortunately, before he strained himself, he heard a knock at the door.

"Daniel? Daniel? Are you all right? Can I come in?" Seth said.

Daniel coughed as he tried to speak. After a few seconds, he caught his breath. "Yes."

His brother, unusually somber, with dark circles under his eyes, opened the door ajar. He poked his head in. "Want some company?"

"Sure," Daniel said. He imagined his brother would be more uplifting to be with than their parents.

"How're you feeling?" Seth approached the bed with a solemn expression, his hands in his pockets.

"Have a seat," Daniel told him. He tried to smile, knowing his brother did not take illness well. "I was just taking stock of my life."

Seth smiled shyly, "Daniel, when aren't you doing that? You're always taking stock of everything." His face turned serious. "Daniel," he said quietly, "you're gonna beat this thing, aren't you? You've always been a fighter."

"Yeah, I'm fighting this thing. I've got too much to live for," he responded.

"That's right," Seth whispered, fighting back tears. "You've had lots of obstacles in your life but you've always fought hard and won."

Daniel knew Seth was referring to the rape accusation in college. He looked at his brother.

"Seth, could you help me turn on my side?"

"Yeah, of course."

Afterward, Daniel said, "Christine should be coming home soon. Then all of you will be relieved of your nursing duties."

"Come on, Daniel," Seth waved away that remark. "You know we're all here for you. Is there anything I can get you?"

"Strength."

Seth touched his brother's arm. "Always," he said, choking back tears.

"How are Heather and the kids doing?" Daniel asked to change the subject.

"Fine. Fine. They're all worried about you. They want to see you. If you remember, Heather lost a brother to cancer, so she's particularly upset. I just don't want her to upset you."

"Oh, that's right!" Daniel tried to lift his hand over his face but was too weak. "Better wait until I'm feeling stronger. I know how sensitive she is."

"How is Christine holding up? Now she's made of tough stuff."

"She's had to be," Daniel answered. "But the strain is bringing her down too."

Seth lowered his eyes in a hangdog expression.

"Well, I guess we all have to die at some point. It's inevitable."

"Daniel, how can you talk like that? You're still young and have so much life ahead of you," Seth shot up, rebuking his brother.

"I guess I'm getting philosophical. I can't prevent what's going to happen with my health."

"Yes, you can! You can continue listening to what the doctor tells you and take good care of yourself. Don't tell me you're giving up now."

Daniel tightened his fists in an effort to gain some kind of control but realized he couldn't. He wanted to help and protect his wife and the twins but felt too weak and helpless to do anything. The only thing he could do is try to stave off death. Everything else was out of his control.

While his brother sat there fighting tears, Daniel thought about his recent business trip to Vermont. He was already feeling tired by then and had received the possible diagnosis from Dr. Sherman. The doctor couldn't confirm it then but deep-down he knew he was very sick. Christine had worried about him making that business trip when he felt so sluggish but went anyway, diligently taking naps when he wasn't working. He just did what he had to do. No sightseeing, no grabbing an opportunity to ski, no gifts for the family, not even a postcard.

Daniel's mind was in overdrive by now. He was breathing heavily. Seth snapped out of his stupor and shot his head up when he heard his brother.

"Dan, Dan, are you all right? You're not crying, are you?" Seth touched his brother's arm and Daniel saw his half-open eyes and drawn expression.

Before either man could say anything more, they heard their parents greeting Christine as she arrived home.