An Unforeseen Turn of Events

Chapter Fifty-Five

Christine spotted a snag in her panty hose. It was on the back of her right leg. She was so demoralized she almost didn't bother changing. She felt like a heavy intractable lump of mass and had to force herself to get ready for work.

She didn't sleep the whole night. Lying next to Daniel, who had a fitful sleep himself, she didn't leave the bedroom after her talk with the twins. She was too lethargic to get up and put on her pajamas so she slept in her work clothes, which was a first. Organized, conscientious Christine did not bother with her nightly routine of flossing and brushing her teeth, removing her makeup, and cleaning her face with her four-step beauty routine, but instead collapsed into bed. In the morning, she felt no better but tiptoed around the house so she wouldn't wake anyone. She didn't have the emotional energy to face her children.

She wondered if their relationship would ever be the same again or if a cloud of doubt about her will forever hang above them.

It was a Saturday and she had volunteered to work today in case she had to take off during the week. No one would be there but she wanted to get in early and finish as much work as she could. She dragged herself out of the house without even bothering to drink coffee—every action took such an arduous effort that she performed only the very minimum of activity. Her briefcase swung aimlessly by her side, not with the purposeful posture she normally carried it. Christine looked down the street and was relieved the gardener wasn't out. Her hair was disheveled and she chose clothes to wear for the office without her usual care and attention. Christine stuck her arm into the closet for a light jacket, not even bothering to notice the color. Once seated in her car, she glanced at it for the first time—it was a casual beige jacket, not one she would wear for the office. Instead of going back inside and changing, she tore it off and threw it on the passenger seat. She felt indifferent to everything. As Christine sat, she glanced at her clothes and was surprised she was wearing one of her newer suits; she was so oblivious she could have put on a cocktail dress.

As she drove to work, she wondered for the first time if all this misfortune had descended on her because she was not a practicing Catholic. Was God only biding his time before all the ramifications of leaving the Church descended upon her? Christine shook her head, dismissing that thought. She was a decent person, she did her best to raise her children, and she married a caring husband and father. She worked hard to help support her family. So she didn't reveal to the twins their biological father's identity. She did what she thought was best. And she did feel it was best for them not to know that he had cheated on her right before she found out she was pregnant. She was convinced he wouldn't have been a good role model and they were better off without him. But Christine did acknowledge she misjudged the compromising situation she witnessed all those years ago.

Another driver honked his horn because she was driving too slowly.

Time to stop thinking and concentrate on the road, she told herself.

When she arrived at work, Christine parked in the parking garage and put a comb through her hair. Looking in the rear view mirror she saw yesterday's makeup still smeared on her face, but fortunately, she found a makeup remover towelette in her pocketbook. She wouldn't be wearing makeup but at least she would look more fresh-faced. Examining her navy blue skirt, she remembered how flattering it looked on her when she had purchased it.

Well, at least I won't scare anyone with my appearance.

Telling herself that the chips will fall where they may regarding her children, Christine took a deep breath and made her way out of the car. She was going over in her head yesterday's events: encountering Ryan, meeting with him in her office, finding out the truth about his supposed dalliance with the actress, and her boss and assistant lingering in the background, waiting to find out the results of their "business meeting."